A Special Announcement and Those Nagging Questions....

  Our family is growing, yet again, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it.  We have made our announcement to our closest family and friends, and then quickly made it "official" on our personal Facebook pages, since we knew word would spread quickly.  So here's my blog announcement: We're thrilled to announce that we're expecting Baby Terry #5 in December! :-D

  As each day passes, I go through a whole slew of emotions, like any expectant mother would.  This baby is very much wanted and that never changes, but I do notice when I'm around people who are skeptical of large families, their doubts try to take hold in my mind.  Am I cut out for this?  Are we doing right by the kids we have?  Is this really the right move to make?  Well, let me tell you, there's no turning back now, so those thoughts can be tossed in the trash, thank you very much!

  Here's the thing: I've always wanted a big family.  I've always loved kids, and I love them even more now that I have my own.  Today, having a large family is often looked down upon, and my conflict-avoiding self can't exactly dodge the comments and interrogations that come from those concerned people who think we're being a bit extravagant in our family-growing ways.  There's nothing I can do about those people, other than to brush their comments off my shoulder and to continue being happy with what is to come for us.

  I've got some answers to the questions people like to ask.  I'll try to be as kind as possible in my response, but know that I am full of raging hormones, therefore I'll ask forgiveness, just in case I give a cold answer with the look of death in my eyes. ;)

 Aren't you concerned about quality time with each child?  Of course we are!  As of right now, Jeff works a second shift job, so our "Alone Nights" with the kids fall on my shoulders.... and that is a responsibility I eagerly accept.  In addition to praising each child's individuality, strengths, accomplishments, and gifts, we strive to have "alone nights" once a week with each child.  As our family grows, those alone nights may be spaced out, but they will happen, and we will continue to enjoy them until the kids are grown and have families of their own.  Since we currently have to enjoy alone nights at home most of the time, we do what we can to make them special.  The kids often get to choose a special snack, a show or movie to watch, or an activity to do with Mom.  We've also allowed them to pick an alone night buddy to tag along, if they choose to have one.  We enjoy games, spa nights, long talks, and Netflix marathons with the kids.  As soon as our nights free up a bit, Jeff and I will take turns carting the kids to various outings on their own (ice cream, putt putt, bowling, etc.).  We do what we can when we can do it and we always make sure that our kids know just how special they are and how much we love them.  Even the simplest of nights are appreciated by them because they know that they are getting that quality time with us.

  What about the cost of raising so many children?  So apparently when you have three or more children, your personal/private income goes on blast.  To this, I say that you can make pretty much any income work as long as you know how to re-prioritize.  Necessities soon look like frivolous treats and you become a budgeting ninja with the news of a new family member's arrival.  I have talked about various ways we stretch our money in this post.  Some things may have changed a bit since, but the gist of it all is the same.  I make many cleaning products, bath and body supplies, and am not the least bit terrified of purchasing things from garage sales, Goodwill, or other thrift shops.  Hand me downs are big here, too. We rarely eat out, and we keep our menu quite simple... we stick to whole foods as much as possible and try to avoid the pricey, less healthy packaged stuff.  If you want to know more, read the other post.  I am still intrigued by others' ways of saving and budgeting, so I'd love to hear your tips and tricks!

  You know what causes that, right?  Well, we're adults with fully functioning brains, so I think we've figured it out.... and we seem to do it well. ;)  We know very well how to avoid pregnancy, we have just come to a place where we are confident in our marriage, our faith in God, and our family, so we choose to leave the size of our family up to the Lord.  Much to our surprise, a new addition didn't happen when we first let go.  I struggled with it for a bit, but it's all good.  God knows what's what. Now that blessing is growing and preparing for the big day he/she makes his/her grand entrance into our big wide world.

  I talked about my change of heart and our decision to let go here.  We stand by this and are confident that God will bless us with the perfect size family for us.  It wasn't easy letting go... believe me... I don't like it when I can't control big things in my life... but this was the best decision we ever made for our marriage, our family, and our relationship with God.  It took my faith to the next level.  I am so thankful for that.

  Are you going to send your kids to school now that another baby is on the way?  Uh, well... that thought never crossed my mind until you asked, but no.... I will not be sending my children to school because our family is growing.  This is an excellent time for them to learn great life/family skills.  This is another reason I love schooling my kids at home. They are always learning life skills, even when textbook lessons are set aside. If we need to take a few weeks off, we have the freedom to do so.  We have summers to make up for missed school, and we have the ability to write our own schedules.  If the Lord were to direct us otherwise, of course we'd send the kids to school, but for now, we're sticking to what works for us.  What works for us is the absolute honor to home school.... and to do it with complete peace and joy.  I realize we will have hard days or seasons, but that is no reason to throw in the towel.  Things worth doing never come easy.  :)

  There are so many other questions and concerns that come up, from our choice of diapers to medical decisions to where or how we're giving birth.  While most of the time, it's just curious cats who'd like to take notes for future reference, or friends who enjoy talking about babies and family, sometimes people ask because they want to *clears throat* "educate" us on the best options.  This makes me chuckle.  Four kids in and another on the way, and there are people who believe we aren't well-equipped with knowledge on various child-rearing topics.  Of course, it's a never-ending learning process, but I've become quite the pro when it comes to research, prayer, and educated decision making.  We've got this and we've got it good!  It is great knowing there is a community of people out there who want what's best for our family/children, even when the approach can rub a pregnant mama the wrong way.

  I am so grateful that we live in a country where family size and most of the decisions we make are completely up to us.  I'm thankful that I have some of the absolute best people in our corner ~ people who stand behind our actions, even if they are different from their own.  I feel blessed beyond measure for the people God has placed in my life and I am incredibly excited for the new life to come that will make a great impact on my own.... in fact, this kidney bean has already made quite the ripple and I am so in love.  <3

  Do you have a large family?  I know that term is relative.... there are families much larger than ours... but if you have a family that is larger than the "norm,"  I'd love to hear from you!  What do you say to the critics?  How do you prepare for a new arrival?  What do you do to make things work financially?  How do you rearrange your home and organize your space to accommodate the new life that will fill that space?  These are questions that will always intrigue me.  Family will always be a huge interest of mine, especially since the one I have pulls at my heartstrings in ways I never thought possible.

  However big or small your family, I pray the Lord blesses you and provides you with the joy and contentment He's given me.  Hug your loved ones and don't forget to count your blessings!

~Em



 

7 Ways We Stretch Our Money

  These days, it's tough to make ends meet for many families.  Everything costs money and almost nothing is cheap.  Many people are living paycheck to paycheck.  Instead of waiting things out and hoping the world will hand us money on a silver platter, I decided to get creative with our finances.  I opened my mind to things I would have never considered and I haven't looked back yet.
  There are many ways my hubby and I stretch our money to make our life more comfortable, fulfilling, and to set our minds at ease.  Here are 7 of them:

1. Ditch Cable~ With great, cheap services like Netflix and Hulu, one doesn't need to spend $100/month on channels they don't even use.  When we moved into our new house 5 months ago, Jeff and I agreed to ditch cable and try out Netflix as our main source of tv and movie viewing. We're still going strong! We also purchased a digital antenna for around $24 that brings in a few basic channels like ABC and Fox for no monthly payment. Between those two things, full episodes of current shows online, and $1(ish) rentals from our local grocery store, we are pretty set with cheap entertainment.

2. Meal Plan~ I notice that when I meal plan, we stick to a budget. Real simple concept.  At first, I was overwhelmed with trying to come up with meals and snacks one to two weeks at a time.  When I got the hang of it, I realized it was much better than that overwhelming feeling of winging it at the grocery store, and not knowing how much I was going to spend at checkout.  There are numerous sources online that list out entire plans a week at a time if you don't want to think at all.  Many even have a grocery list to print off before you head out.  One of my favorites is GroceryBudget101.com. (click on link to go to the site)  I use this plan often and tweak it as I see fit.  Another great place to check out cheap, easy, and healthy meals is Pinterest.  Be careful, though, as many recipes are quite fancy and require lots of ingredients, so you could very well break your budget!

3. Thrift/Consignment Shop/Garage Sale~ I used to get that "ick" factor when thinking of shopping at thrift shops.  I went to a couple reputable consignment shops now and then, and would stop at clean garage sales, where I could see the source I was purchasing from, but places like Goodwill and the Salvation Army were off limits.  I let go of that high and mighty way of thinking and decided that the "ick" factor could be eliminated with a good washing or two.  Yes, there are these really handy appliances called washers and dryers that do wonders to clothes!  Now that I enjoy thrift shopping, I have a hard time even seeing the prices at Walmart! I've become that thrifty (or cheap, whatever you want to call it).  For instance, two of our children needed new winter boots this year.  I price checked at Walmart while we were picking up some groceries. About $25 for a pair of boots.  I decided to look at our local Goodwill and if I didn't find anything, I'd go back to Walmart and pick some up.  Jeff and I had recently dropped off a donation to Goodwill, so we had a 20% off coupon.  We ended up finding the boots we needed in the exact sizes and colors that worked for our kids for $11 total.  TWO pair of boots in good condition for $11?  I'll take that any day! It may take a bit more searching to find the things you want when shopping used, but your wallet will thank you for it.  I find great satisfaction in finding a good deal.  Welcoming hand-me-downs and gifts is free... I've let go of my pride and allowed others to bless us in that way as well.  I make sure to always pay it forward in some way, so as to be a blessing to others, too!

4.  DIY (do it/make it yourself)~ You can make anything these days, and you can use natural ingredients to avoid harsh chemicals as well!  Cleaning products, bath & body, cosmetics, clothing, knick knacks and other decor, quilts, toys, storage containers, the possibilities are endless!  I frequent Pinterest for new ideas and tips.  One of my newer and most exciting diy finds was from my wonderful sister-in-law and her friend: Homemade Liquid Laundry soap.  I love it! It works great and lasts forever! And it saves you a TON of money! Who wouldn't want to give it a try? You can find their recipe on their website: Real Moms, Real Messy, Blessed and Highly Favored. *Update* I now use a new recipe because our water is so hard that our clothes started looking dingy.  This new one has worked so well and I noticed a difference after the first wash!  If you'd like the recipe, email me and I'll send it to you. :) I am also a big fan of the Norwex microfiber cloths for the bulk of my cleaning. It saves me a lot on paper towels and cleaners and I am able to avoid harsh chemicals.  It's really a win-win! Check my Pinterest boards often to find great diy ideas.

5.  Cut up that Credit Card!~ Jeff and I haven't used a credit card in years... and I don't miss it one bit.  A good, wise motto to embrace is "If you don't have the money, don't buy it."  I'm not a fan of paying interest to a company that has no concern for my family's financial well-being.  I don't like debt, interest, or really anything to do with credit cards.  The thought of getting myself into debt makes my skin crawl.  If I have a card, you bet I'm going to forget my willpower and use & abuse it.  So, no credit cards in this house.  We don't need that kind of temptation. If you use credit cards, this is not a slam against your choice, this is just what we have chosen for ourselves. :)

6.  Drive a Car without a Payment~ This kind of goes along with the credit card concept.  I hated having car payments.  It was one more worry to add to the list, and one more bill to pay each month.  We now share a vehicle, which can be tricky at times, but I'd much rather save up and pay for a second car in full than to rush out and sign up for a lovely monthly payment with that dirty "i" word (interest).  I'm fine with driving a car that's not brand new... or fairly new.  As long as it runs and isn't hideous, I'm game!  Eliminating our car payments has eliminated stress and has given us a bit more freedom financially.  Totally worth it!

7. Turn Your Home into a Fun Place to Hang~ Purchase board games, movies (utilize Netflix), decorate in a way that's pleasing to the eye, buy comfortable furniture, de-clutter.... do whatever it takes to make your home a place you'd like to be.  If you have room for guests, have friends over once a week for games and appetizers.
  Exchanging your movie tickets for a rental at home saves big bucks.  You pay less for a box of microwave popcorn and a two-liter of Coke than you do for a tub of popcorn at the theater.
  Try new recipes and set the table with cloth napkins and your finest china to get the restaurant vibe going in your kitchen.  Don't have china? Grab some cute paper plates at the dollar store or use whatever dishes you have.  Use what you have and what you can afford to make your dinners at home fun and exciting.
  Embrace your family and learn to enjoy being with them.  If we focus on our family and loving the home we're in, we won't focus so much on what we're missing out on outside the home. Learn a new instrument or develop a new hobby with your spouse or children.  Find things to do that bring the family together and provide entertainment.  If you get creative, staying home won't feel like such a bummer.  You'll actually enjoy your time and won't miss going out all the time.  This will save you big bucks!

  While Jeff and I are forever learning how to be responsible with our finances, we have come so far and have rid ourselves of a lot of unnecessary stresses by following these guidelines.  We have a long way to go, but I find comfort in knowing we are on the right track.

  What tips could you share that will help us stretch our money?  I'd love to hear them!

~Em