Frizzy Hair and Lotsa Coffee

  I'm tired.  Tired to the point where I forget simple words and everything becomes "that thing" when I'm trying to communicate with my family.  My temper is in beast mode.  My patience has left the building.  My guilt is off the charts regularly throughout the day. I mean really... I have quite a few kids....a teenager and a baby included in the bunch.  Need I say more?

 Have you ever been there?  Bending to the point of breaking? I believe all mothers go through cycles of elation, frustration, exhaustion, excitement, hopelessness, hopeFULness, pure joy, failure, and the list goes on.  There is nothing wrong with feeling out of sorts.  We are human.  The beauty in those times of imperfection is that we have an incredible Father who takes over.... He carries us through those times of trouble, heartache, and sleeplessness.  He gifted us with our beautiful, sometimes incredibly trying children, and He wants us to succeed, even when He needs to step in and take over for a while.

  I've had to chant "this too shall pass" so many times lately, that I think I've actually worn the phrase out.  I've had to ask forgiveness of my kids numerous times.  I'm honestly wondering if something is a bit off with my husband... because he's standing strong by his frizzy haired, sailor cursing, caffeine addicted, black-bag-eyed, sleep deprived, slumpy dumpy wife through all of my trials.  He's either a saint on a mission from God, or I've broken him as well. Either way, I'm glad he's taking our wedding vows seriously.  ;)

  I don't say this to talk down to myself or to complain about where I'm at in life.  I am grateful for my life, and the people in it... even if I'm in a time of trial and the need for growth.  I say all of this to show you that we all go through it.  There is not one perfect mama.... not one perfect family out there.... even though we are in a world that often likes to mask the imperfections and show our happy, charming sides to the people who see us.

  This seems to be a recurring theme in my life... and this blog.  But you know?  I often need the reminder... and maybe you do too.  We need to embrace those moments of peace and calm.  Kiss on our babies' cheeks.  Snuggle for five more minutes.  Ignore that ugly pile of dishes and take a cat nap on the couch while the kiddos watch that episode of Jessie for the umpteenth time.  We need to do what it takes to survive during those cycles of not so happy times and then truly grab hold of our times of happiness, ease, and utter divineness.  Is that even a word?  Well, it is now! ;)

  If you are as tired as I am... I raise my mug of strong kick-in-the pants coffee to you... and I send hugs and smiles your way.  You're doing a fabulous job, sweet mama.  Your kids love you no matter what cycle you're going through right now.... even if you've become pals with good ol' raging hormonal Aunt Flo.... forgive yourself for being less than perfect and drink that coffee, watch that episode of Friends to get a good laugh in, or read that heartwarming book for a nice little cry... and remember that goodness and mercy are well on their way.  All of this is worth it in the end, don't you agree?

  I have five little souls and one hot bearded hubby who remind me every day that this is the best gosh darn life ever.  Trials and all.  And you know what?  I wouldn't trade these sleepless nights or sticky, loud, chaotic days for the world.

  Gotta go.... my next cuppa coffee is calling me.

xoxo
~Em

10 Confessions from a Mom of "Many"

    It's funny to me that when I meet new people and they find out I have five kids, they assume I must be some sort of saint with the patience of Jesus and the love of all things Susie Homemaker.  Well, unfortunately I do not fall into either category, and while I've given up and allowed myself the freedom from bondage on many issues, there are some I desperately need to remedy.  So if you're feeling like you're the only mom out there who isn't so gosh darn perfect in every gosh darn way, this is for you.  You're welcome. ;)

1.  I have a love/hate relationship with cloth diapers.  Yeah, cue the gasps.  I adore the cuteness, the fluffy-ness, the "aww" factor.  I really do.  I have to hold myself back from buying more diapers because of this.  I see one with an adorable hard-to-resist pattern and my first instinct is to jump on that and throw it in my online cart.  The thing is..... I really think I am living in the right century.  I would have hardly skated by before disposables came along.  

    I cloth part time.  That "part time" status is becoming smaller by the week.  It's not that I don't care about our environment... or our hard earned cash.  It's that I am not fond of the extra laundry.  Some women claim it doesn't seem like that much extra to them, but it sure does to me.  I already have to re-wash loads of laundry because of my forgetfulness, so to have to wash these adorable little poop holders multiple times between each poop sesh is a bit much for my taste.  

    I love that I have these for those times when I run out of disposables and can't make a quick trip to the store to buy another box.  I love that my son looks so stinking fluffalicious in them.  I really really do.  I love how soft some of the covers are.  I hate how they flippin' leak at the first sign of pee.  (Speaking of... I've tried a few different brands.... Rumparooz covers are my favorite all around.... the leak factor isn't an issue, they are sturdy, they are cute.... but they don't seem as comfortable around the legs and waist as some other brands.  Overall.... if anyone ever asks.... Rumparooz are my favorite).  

    So I will carry on, cloth diapering at home...on the days I won't collapse at the thought of another darn load of laundry.... but I am not going to beat myself up over the fact that I don't bring them out on the town with my baby and I.  No guilt.  No shame.  Just part-time cloth diapering love and hate. ;)

2.  I have a love/hate relationship with all things crafty and "Pinteresty."  I thoroughly enjoy doing little crafts and projects with my kids.... sometimes.  But much of the time, I'm all about handing over that task to my ten year old daughter.... and she just eats it up, I tell ya.  I have not a single crafty bone in my body.... so my attempts at creating beautiful things worthy of a perfectly arranged photo are weak at best.  Give me the fun activities that require no art-filled talent and I'm your gal!  I'm all about using our imaginations.... and luckily so are my kids... because they need great imaginations to see what some of these crafts should look like when made by their dear old mom.  I used to feel guilty for not always enjoying this stuff... and inadequate because so many moms were so great at it... but I can't do that anymore. I'm going to embrace who I am as a mom and let go of that need to craft it up on the reg.... unless I really want to! 

3.  I have a love/hate relationship with doing things outside the home.  As a mom with five kids.... I have quite enough "busy" to last me a lifetime.  I love being at home.  I love doing stuff with the kids right here in the comfort of our own little nest.... or in the yard just outside our nest.  While field trips and play dates, and moms nights out are all sorts of fun, sometimes I feel burdened by it all and have to wipe my calendar clean, stay home with the hubby and kids and just be a family.  I will never be one of those moms who has her kids in every sport, club, and after school activity known to man.  I just won't.  My kids seem pretty fine with it.  My wallet seems pretty cool with it.  My husband doesn't seem to mind that I'm not frazzled and pulling my hair out at the end of each day (well, I kinda do that, but at least it's not EVERY day. ;) )  The point is..... I have enough busy to go around, and I am not complaining about that one bit, but to add to it is overkill unless that activity is truly worth all the hassle.  Most of the time, it isn't.  I used to feel inadequate over this too.  Not anymore.  

    You don't like that I find no joy in having to get myself all dolled up, get all the kids ready, load them up in the car, and drive to who knows where just to sit there and watch them do who knows what for who knows how long all to have the status of being a good mom who gives her kids a ton of amazing opportunities?  So sorry you feel that way.  

    

    I am what you might call a "commitment-phobe."  If an activity requires weekly attendance for an extended period of time..... nope.  If it is going to cost me an arm and a leg and cause turmoil in our house because not every kid gets to do it.... nope.  If it is going to cut into the fund for a family road trip... nope.  You get my point?  I see nothing wrong with being busy.... as long as my family is busy together, doing things in which we find value, all while not stressing over the hows, the wheres, and the whys of it all.  To be "busy" just to fit the status quo is just not my cup o' tea.  I make no apologies.  Not a one. ;)  Don't feel this is a jab at you, if you are one of those who thrive in a busy environment.  If you love it, good for you!!!  Sometimes I wish I did love the hustle and bustle of a full schedule outside the home.... I just don't.  :)

4.  I don't always enjoy cooking (I usually don't) and I despise grocery shopping.   My family is so lucky... no ~ blessed beyond belief.... that they have a Daddy and older brother who are amazing cooks and who actually enjoy the task.  Mommy is too unpredictable in this department.  When I get in a cooking mood... watch out!  Recipes are being made, food is being eaten, and fun is being had!  That doesn't happen often.  When I'm not in the mood and our two resident chefs are otherwise occupied, my family eats things like rice and stir-fried veggies or *gasp* take out or *gasp* sandwiches or *gasp* mac and cheese.  I like quick and easy.  Even if it's a tossed salad with tuna on top.  Here ya go kids, eat up!  

    Each season of life brings different feelings for me when it comes to cooking.  I get all fired up and want to bake pumpkin bread and make hot cider and get that crock pot out of the back corner of the pantry each fall.  When the first snow hits, hot chocolate and snow ice cream must be made.  I typically avoid cooking at all costs from mid-winter until hmmmm.... June, perhaps?  It's all about survival then.... getting all of our school days finished, keeping the kids from going bat poop crazy from being cooped up in the house, or enjoying the newly warm and sunny weather of spring while neglecting to remember that there is such a thing as dinner and *oh my gosh, it's seven o' clock, I need to make something for the kids to eat, QUICK!*  You catch my drift? So those "off" seasons for me are when Jeff and Hayden can really shine in the kitchen.  I hand over the control and let them have at it... with a big ol' smile on my face and a refreshing Dr. Pepper in my hand as I kick up my feet and enjoy a little snuggle with Wesson or a nice stare at the wall.

    I pretty much never enjoy grocery shopping.  I'm honestly surprised I don't break out in hives when I must go.  I LOVE making grocery lists.  I love the planning of a menu... but to go look through all the aisles, trying to find that one darn ingredient while keeping tabs on kids who want everything in sight and must touch e.ver.y.thing; while bouncing to keep the moby-wrapped baby happy and hoping that no one is judging me because my kids aren't keeping their hands on the cart and staying out of everyone's way.... to then stand next to a huge rack of candy while waiting to pay for the darn groceries before I have to hear one more "but puhleeeeaaase can I just have one treat, mom?"....... where was I?  Oh yeah... nope.  Can't say I enjoy it.  The thing I do enjoy about grocery shopping.... that sense of accomplishment when all the groceries are put away and all I have left to do is think about dinner..... okay, scratch that.  But grocery shopping is a fact of life, and while my hubby is so gracious and understanding and honestly does the shopping more often than not, I have to buck up and do it now and then, so hopefully some day, when all my kids become as easy to shop with as my eldest, it might be kinda fun... maybe... no? 

5.  I yell.  Not proud of it.  Not in the least, but it happens.  I guess I have this thing called a "temper" and things get me going.  It's not just a "bahhh" sort of yell.  It's a "I'm going to yell now, and every word I say is going to be loud so that I feel terrible about yelling once all is said and done" kind of yell.  Our neighbors must LOVE me.  It is something I'm working on.... and failing at... but I'll keep working on it until I get it right.  

    I had our fifth baby at home this past December.  It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.  If we have more kids in the future, they will be born at home too.  All up until having him, I worried that I might be too vocal and scare the neighbors if they happened to be outside (mind you, this was just before Christmas, so I'm pretty sure there were no people hanging out on their decks, sipping cocktails and being incredibly inconvenienced by that crazy-loud hippie baby breeder).  

   I think I sort of made a semi-loud noise when I had Wesson.  I was all worried about it.  My husband so hilariously reminded me that our family makes more noise than I did while pushing the babe out of my body.  Which, as funny as it is, reminds me that I'm being a terrible example to our kids by how much I raise my voice.  I'm louder when I'm screeching over messes than I was while having a baby.  When that thought sunk in, it stung quite a bit, I must say.  Lots of work to do.  Far from perfection in this department. 

6.  My breastfeeding track record is pretty pitiful.   The longest I've gone so far was 11 months with my second child.  The others were 6 months, 8ish months, and 4 days.  Yep.  I am a huge fan of breastfeeding, but for one reason or another, it never lasted as long as I would have hoped for.  I have a feeling this time will be different.  I really hope so.  I used to hate myself over this.  I used to think I was broken, or unfit to be a mother if I couldn't provide the one thing my babies needed to survive for as long as many of the other moms I knew.  You know what?  My kids survived on breastmilk AND formula.... and they are thriving.... so there was no need for the self-loathing or for the allowing of other well-meaning moms' not so helpful but oh, so soul crushing comments to make me feel guilty.  

    Now I happen to be on the other end of the spectrum and still get to deal with unwanted comments.  No, I am not pumping or supplementing with formula yet.  No, we don't own a single bottle.  Yes, all is right in Wesson's world.  I mean, have you seen the adorably squeezable chunk of his thighs? 'Nuff said!

7.  I'm not a fan of other people's kids.  I know... this is the stuff evil is made of.  Don't get me wrong... I have no delusions that my children are perfect or that they are the best kids in the entire universe (although... they are the best kids in the entire universe for me!).  It's not that I dislike all other kids..... in fact, there are plenty of kids I absolutely adore.  I have just found that the list of kids I'd rather not hang around grows quite rapidly.  Whether it's just conflicting personalities, lack of parenting, lack of patience on my part, or whatever.... I'm just not that much of a kid person.  Ironic, isn't it? ;)  I will be sweet as pie, unless some kid bullies or endangers one of mine, but man, do I appreciate the kids I have after a visit to the park or museum.  Know what I'm sayin?  Or am I completely alone in this?  I should feel bad.... right?  My conscience must have moved out of the country..... do I even need to remedy this?  Back to the acting sweet as pie thing... that makes up for my distaste of naughty, entitled, unsupervised children, right? No? Huh? 

8.  I am NOT a morning person.  There have been a few times where I woke up all giddy and ready to tackle whatever the day would bring me... and even a few days in a row.  Enough days to have tricked me into thinking I may have been becoming a morning person.  But nope.  I am a night owl through and through.  People often make the assumption that because I have "so many kids" I must be a morning person.  Nut uh.  Not at all.  Don't talk to me until my first cup of coffee is gone.  Better yet, don't even look at me.  Okay, I'm not that bad... most days.  I love a good hug from my kiddos in the morning.... but save the cat fights and screeching for mom's second cup of coffee, please.  

    I have tried to change this numerous times.  I'm just not wired that way.  I want to want to get up in the morning, before the rest of the family to go on a run... or walk.... or crawl around the neighborhood. I want to want to get my devotions in before I see the whites of my kids' eyes, but it's just not happenin' for me.  My exercise will have to be whatever it is I do all day... don't even tell me it has to be anything different.  I'm okay with who I am, even if there's a whole lotta extra right now.  I'll get to the exercise when I get to the exercise.  Worry 'bout yourself.... ;) My prime time of day is the evening, and I'm totally okay with that.  

9.  I crave time alone.  I love love love my children with all my heart.  I love hanging out with them and doing school and life with them.  I love playing games, and snuggles, and watching movies, and breathing in the fresh air of the great outdoors with my kids.  There is just something in me that needs that down time by myself.  I am a huge fan of having little Netflix marathons at night after everyone has gone to bed.  It is my time to veg out, wind down, and allow myself to just enjoy "being."  Breathing, loving the opportunity to watch Friends without guilt, eating a snack without sharing.... ahhh.... the luxury.  I think, other than God's mighty hand, this is what keeps me going.  I'm able to recharge in my own way and it is wonderful.  We moms often feel guilty for desiring time alone.  We should want to love and dote on our precious little cherubs 24/7 like every other loving mom, right?  Newsflash~ I'm pretty sure every mom on the planet craves alone time... and if she doesn't.... she isn't human.  There's just no way. ;)

10.  I change my mind. A LOT.  If you go back and read the whole cloth diaper fiasco bit, you'll see.  I'm like that with almost everything.  

    I want to start a homestead, but FIRST I want to buy an RV and travel the country full time with Jeff and the kids so they have the opportunity to see and experience everything humanly possible before we miss out.... but maybe the homestead is more practical because really, five kids and two adults in a camper might get a little tight..... especially since I crave time alone.  I'm going to research the crap out of how to go about full time RVing anyway.  Just in case I change my mind again.  You get it?  This is my mind... all the time.  

    I love cloth diapering.  No I don't.  Okay, I love it.  Nah.... not for me.  We must do book based learning.  I think I like online programs better.  No, let's go back to books.  I'm sick of the clutter, let's go back to online learning.  I want to move closer to our families.  No.... let's move out of state.  But I miss living near our families.  Guh, but living down South is such a dream of mine.  Ooh, you know what we should do?  We should move up North! 

.......... I just figured out why I'm so gosh darn tired.  It has nothing to do with the kids at all. ;)

11.  I changed my mind..... again.  I have an 11th confession to make....  I love my husband and children more than life itself and I will go to great lengths to make sure we as a family are happy, healthy and whole.  Whether we use cloth diapers or not, no matter who cooks dinner or grabs takeout that night, whether we're in an rv or spread out over ten acres.... whether we continue on in life as a family of seven, or we add to our brood, whether we yell, or whisper "I love you,"  I will always always always cherish the amazing people God has placed in my care.  I will forever love the family I am so blessed to call mine.  And that, dear friends, is my greatest, most prized "confession." 

~Em

A Special Announcement and Those Nagging Questions....

  Our family is growing, yet again, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it.  We have made our announcement to our closest family and friends, and then quickly made it "official" on our personal Facebook pages, since we knew word would spread quickly.  So here's my blog announcement: We're thrilled to announce that we're expecting Baby Terry #5 in December! :-D

  As each day passes, I go through a whole slew of emotions, like any expectant mother would.  This baby is very much wanted and that never changes, but I do notice when I'm around people who are skeptical of large families, their doubts try to take hold in my mind.  Am I cut out for this?  Are we doing right by the kids we have?  Is this really the right move to make?  Well, let me tell you, there's no turning back now, so those thoughts can be tossed in the trash, thank you very much!

  Here's the thing: I've always wanted a big family.  I've always loved kids, and I love them even more now that I have my own.  Today, having a large family is often looked down upon, and my conflict-avoiding self can't exactly dodge the comments and interrogations that come from those concerned people who think we're being a bit extravagant in our family-growing ways.  There's nothing I can do about those people, other than to brush their comments off my shoulder and to continue being happy with what is to come for us.

  I've got some answers to the questions people like to ask.  I'll try to be as kind as possible in my response, but know that I am full of raging hormones, therefore I'll ask forgiveness, just in case I give a cold answer with the look of death in my eyes. ;)

 Aren't you concerned about quality time with each child?  Of course we are!  As of right now, Jeff works a second shift job, so our "Alone Nights" with the kids fall on my shoulders.... and that is a responsibility I eagerly accept.  In addition to praising each child's individuality, strengths, accomplishments, and gifts, we strive to have "alone nights" once a week with each child.  As our family grows, those alone nights may be spaced out, but they will happen, and we will continue to enjoy them until the kids are grown and have families of their own.  Since we currently have to enjoy alone nights at home most of the time, we do what we can to make them special.  The kids often get to choose a special snack, a show or movie to watch, or an activity to do with Mom.  We've also allowed them to pick an alone night buddy to tag along, if they choose to have one.  We enjoy games, spa nights, long talks, and Netflix marathons with the kids.  As soon as our nights free up a bit, Jeff and I will take turns carting the kids to various outings on their own (ice cream, putt putt, bowling, etc.).  We do what we can when we can do it and we always make sure that our kids know just how special they are and how much we love them.  Even the simplest of nights are appreciated by them because they know that they are getting that quality time with us.

  What about the cost of raising so many children?  So apparently when you have three or more children, your personal/private income goes on blast.  To this, I say that you can make pretty much any income work as long as you know how to re-prioritize.  Necessities soon look like frivolous treats and you become a budgeting ninja with the news of a new family member's arrival.  I have talked about various ways we stretch our money in this post.  Some things may have changed a bit since, but the gist of it all is the same.  I make many cleaning products, bath and body supplies, and am not the least bit terrified of purchasing things from garage sales, Goodwill, or other thrift shops.  Hand me downs are big here, too. We rarely eat out, and we keep our menu quite simple... we stick to whole foods as much as possible and try to avoid the pricey, less healthy packaged stuff.  If you want to know more, read the other post.  I am still intrigued by others' ways of saving and budgeting, so I'd love to hear your tips and tricks!

  You know what causes that, right?  Well, we're adults with fully functioning brains, so I think we've figured it out.... and we seem to do it well. ;)  We know very well how to avoid pregnancy, we have just come to a place where we are confident in our marriage, our faith in God, and our family, so we choose to leave the size of our family up to the Lord.  Much to our surprise, a new addition didn't happen when we first let go.  I struggled with it for a bit, but it's all good.  God knows what's what. Now that blessing is growing and preparing for the big day he/she makes his/her grand entrance into our big wide world.

  I talked about my change of heart and our decision to let go here.  We stand by this and are confident that God will bless us with the perfect size family for us.  It wasn't easy letting go... believe me... I don't like it when I can't control big things in my life... but this was the best decision we ever made for our marriage, our family, and our relationship with God.  It took my faith to the next level.  I am so thankful for that.

  Are you going to send your kids to school now that another baby is on the way?  Uh, well... that thought never crossed my mind until you asked, but no.... I will not be sending my children to school because our family is growing.  This is an excellent time for them to learn great life/family skills.  This is another reason I love schooling my kids at home. They are always learning life skills, even when textbook lessons are set aside. If we need to take a few weeks off, we have the freedom to do so.  We have summers to make up for missed school, and we have the ability to write our own schedules.  If the Lord were to direct us otherwise, of course we'd send the kids to school, but for now, we're sticking to what works for us.  What works for us is the absolute honor to home school.... and to do it with complete peace and joy.  I realize we will have hard days or seasons, but that is no reason to throw in the towel.  Things worth doing never come easy.  :)

  There are so many other questions and concerns that come up, from our choice of diapers to medical decisions to where or how we're giving birth.  While most of the time, it's just curious cats who'd like to take notes for future reference, or friends who enjoy talking about babies and family, sometimes people ask because they want to *clears throat* "educate" us on the best options.  This makes me chuckle.  Four kids in and another on the way, and there are people who believe we aren't well-equipped with knowledge on various child-rearing topics.  Of course, it's a never-ending learning process, but I've become quite the pro when it comes to research, prayer, and educated decision making.  We've got this and we've got it good!  It is great knowing there is a community of people out there who want what's best for our family/children, even when the approach can rub a pregnant mama the wrong way.

  I am so grateful that we live in a country where family size and most of the decisions we make are completely up to us.  I'm thankful that I have some of the absolute best people in our corner ~ people who stand behind our actions, even if they are different from their own.  I feel blessed beyond measure for the people God has placed in my life and I am incredibly excited for the new life to come that will make a great impact on my own.... in fact, this kidney bean has already made quite the ripple and I am so in love.  <3

  Do you have a large family?  I know that term is relative.... there are families much larger than ours... but if you have a family that is larger than the "norm,"  I'd love to hear from you!  What do you say to the critics?  How do you prepare for a new arrival?  What do you do to make things work financially?  How do you rearrange your home and organize your space to accommodate the new life that will fill that space?  These are questions that will always intrigue me.  Family will always be a huge interest of mine, especially since the one I have pulls at my heartstrings in ways I never thought possible.

  However big or small your family, I pray the Lord blesses you and provides you with the joy and contentment He's given me.  Hug your loved ones and don't forget to count your blessings!

~Em



 

Quiet Time Themes

  I am a woman.  I change my mind... often.  One of the most frequent places I switch things up is in our homeschooling.  I recently changed our schedule so that we start school after Daddy leaves for his second shift job.  I weighed all the pros and cons before deciding that was the best move for our family.  It has worked really well so far.

  The most recent change, that we started implementing today, is our quiet time routine. I normally send the two younger kids to their rooms to play quietly by themselves and have the older kids read, play computer games, or work on their school work.  This worked really well for a while, but it is time to tweak it up a bit.

  We now have themed quiet times for each day of the week.  We'll still zip our lips and keep to our own little corners, so as to bask in those few moments of peace and serenity, but we'll have specific tasks or activities to take part in.  Here's what it looks like (for now):

Quiet Time Themes

Monday ~ Movie Day

Tuesday ~ Computer Day

Wednesday ~ Reading Day

Thursday ~ Creativity Day

Friday ~ Free Choice

Movie Day!

  We usually do these activities every day anyway, but this is just an opportunity to do them on our own, or in silence.  On Movie Day, we grab our pillows and blankets and gather in the living room to watch a movie in our own little corners.  No talking, no playing, just resting and relaxing.

  My kids, especially the older ones, absolutely love the computer.  They play Minecraft, create websites, write stories, paint, use apps on the iPod touch, and enjoy the Wii and Playstation as well. While the gaming systems make a bit of noise, I thought that giving the kids that time in the middle of the day to just veg out once a week would help to curb those cravings for play when they should be focusing on their schoolwork instead.  So, for Computer Day, the plan is to let the older two play Minecraft while Logan enjoys the Playstation in his room and Ella uses Hayden's iPod apps.  Some parents prefer the kids have the least amount of screen time possible.  I would be one of those, and this is my way of compromising with my kids and keeping the peace. :)

  I absolutely love it when all computers are shut down, the tv is off and there is absolute silence, aside from the rustlings of pages turning in books.  So, naturally, I wanted to incorporate Reading Day into our week.  The kids read for the fun of it every night before the lights go out, so they aren't lacking in that important time, but this just adds to it.  They all like reading, so this is a grand opportunity to distract them from that addictive blue glow all of the screens in our house emit. 

  I have one child in particular, who lives for creative outlets like drawing, painting, and crafts.  I thought it necessary to feed her need once a week in a way that she is able to create things without interruptions from her younger siblings.  They enjoy these things as well.  For Creativity Day, everyone will find a spot to do what they'd like on their own. Since my oldest isn't into a lot of the artsy stuff, I've opened it up a bit so that he can write stories or journal entries as a way of getting his creative juices flowing.  

  On Fridays, I provide a Free Choice Day so that the kids can pick something they love to do the best.  Movies are out on this day, because I'd like to provide complete silence for those who need it, but the kids are welcome to work on their computers, create pretty art projects, read to their heart's content, etc.  It's nice to have a choice now and then, so I want to make that an option for my children. 

  Once again, the freedom that comes with homeschooling has brought so much joy to my heart.  I am so thankful that we are able to change our minds and tailor-fit our activities and schedules to meet everyone's needs.  I hope this can be of use to my fellow homeschooling/stay at home moms who need a little boost in their daily quiet times.  As always, I'm open to suggestions, so please share if you do something that works well for your family. 

~Em

Finding Peace in Your Role as "Mom"

  Lately, I've been re-evaluating my thought process when it comes to my calling as a stay at home mom.  I always thought that I, and my fellow "warriors," deserved more recognition for our service.  If I would read statistics on how much we'd make if we were earning money for our hard work, I'd all but stand up and clap.  I'd also have those moments where I felt I wasn't doing enough in this world by staying home.  I wasn't worthy because I wasn't earning a buck.

  I know there are some working mothers who feel under appreciated as well.  I know that they feel judged for not spending every waking moment with their children.  They wish they could be home, but that isn't where they are meant to be in this season, or maybe at all.

  God calls us all to do different things in life.  If we were all meant to work, or if we were all meant to stay home, our world would be a much different place than it is today.  It might make things easier on us when trying to follow God's lead.  If every mom did what every other mom did, it would be a no-brainer.  It would be the norm.  There would be no mommy-wars over what type of mom works hardest, deserves more praise, or wins the prize of Top Mom.

  The reality is, that we all have different qualities and gifts to give the world.  God sees us as beautiful, unique individuals and wants us to excel in the paths we take in life.  He wants us to use our gifts to bring Him glory. He wants us to know that we are more than appreciated by Him.  He finds joy in seeing us follow His will.  We find peace.  It's a win-win.  So why do so many of us struggle when we know we're doing what we're meant to do?

  My mistake was that I was measuring my successes and failures by the world's standards. This was a problem, because I'm not called by the world to raise my children, I'm called by God.  The world values materialistic things.  The world measures success by income or accomplishments outside the home.  The world doesn't see the value or importance of that mom who stays home with her kids.  They might see her as lazy, a freeloader, or maybe someone who wouldn't make it in a career outside the home.  Not everyone views stay at home moms this way, but in general, the message today's people are sending is that we need to earn more, do more, and achieve more outside of the home to be valuable.

  God sees things differently.  He sees the value in all moms, no matter their calling.  He sees that the working mom is often going beyond her comfort zone to help put food on the table and clothing on her children's backs. He sees that she may need that time with other adults during the day so that she can give of herself 100% to her children when she is home.  He sees her as hardworking, beautiful, loving, and as a willing servant to her family. While I can't relate to the working mom, God knows her heart.  God sees her value.  God loves her and all the effort she makes to give her children the best life she can possibly give them. He sees it all and He is so proud that He has blessed this mom with His children.  He is glad He placed these precious lives in the right hands.

  God sees the stay at home mom as just as important as working moms.  He sees the hard things that take place during the day: the mental exhaustion, the breaking up of fights, the cleaning up of spills (over and over and over again), the molding of minds, the kissing of boo boos, the crying, the diapers, the monotony of the day to day.  He also sees the precious moments: the cuddles, the love, the moments of pride a mom has when seeing her children reach new milestones, the learning, the laughter, the endless hugs and kisses, the stories, the prayers, the fun times, all the special moments that may slip our minds.  He sees it all and He is so proud that He has blessed this mom with His children.  He is glad He placed these precious lives in the right hands.

  I will no longer place my value in the world's ridiculous standards. When I do that, I will fall short every time.  I will look side to side and see how very little I am treasured as a human being and as a mother.  I will all but give up, because what's the point of jumping through the various hoops life throws at you when you'll never measure up anyway?  Instead, I will do my best to see myself through God's eyes.  I will see just how treasured I am.  I will see that I am, indeed, making an impact on my children and that I am blessing my husband in return.  I will see that in shifting my focus from others to God, I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing, and I am doing well.... mistakes and all.

  If you are truly doing what God has called you to do, you are doing WELL.  You have absolutely no place for doubt, so any time that darned thought pops in your head, look to God instead of seeking answers from others.  This world is full of many things; I have yet to find an ounce of peace when seeking the things it has to offer.  God is full of so much more, and all of what He is filled with is GOOD.  Peace will come if you seek His face.

  Be blessed today, working moms.  Be blessed today, stay at home moms.  You are all valuable.  You are all good.  You are all right where you need to be.  If  you aren't feeling peace, ask God what you need to do to make peace happen.  If you are feeling peace, be that light to those moms who are struggling with where they should be in life.  Be that shoulder to cry on, or be that ear that hears.  Let's all support one another in this long adventure, and let us not forget to cherish all these good, limited years we have with our children.

  Give your kids a kiss and a squeeze, and rest in the fact that God is so very proud of you today.


~Em

My Hodgepodge Post

  If you could look inside my brain, you'd be grateful I haven't posted anything new in the past couple weeks.  It is an absolute jumbled mess.  If I have more than a handful of things to focus on at once, my mind becomes a haven for chaos and traffic jams.  

  As my faithful readers know, I often go way off track in my posts.  Today, you'll be "blessed" with a hodgepodge of thoughts. Most of this is just to get the thoughts out of my head so I can free up some of the space in my brain.  Some is me being real and showing you that we all deal with chaos in our lives.  And some is to be an encouragement.  Take what you will and forget the rest.

  Thought #1: We're still adjusting a bit to Jeff's schedule.  I think I've finally found a way for the kids and I to function in the midst of these awkward hours alone.  Just yesterday, I finally put my foot down and changed our school schedule.  I always had it in my mind that we needed to begin school in the morning in order to find success each day.  This was a silly notion, because a couple of us are most definitely not morning people.  In fact, I think I only have one genuine morning person in the bunch, but she is chipper all day, as long as she's fed. So we're trying out a new schedule for the next week or two.  If it works, we'll keep it.  If it doesn't, we'll toss it.

  Thought #2: Our family is also on the verge of another move.  We live quite far from Jeff's new job and a good distance from most of our friends and family, so this wonderful little town is no longer the right fit for us.  Anyone who has ever moved knows how stressful it can be.  The searching for a new place, the packing, the moving heavy objects, the time it takes to feel settled in your new home.  We're still in the searching phase and I'm ready for it to be over.  We have moved a lot over the years.  Way too much.  This next move is temporary.  We won't be settling... it's just another jumping pad to yet another home in the near future.  It's okay.  It's not the end of the world.  It's not my preference, but we have to do what we have to do.  It's one more step toward our ultimate goal, so I'll try to take this step as gracefully as humanly possible.

  Thought #3: I may very well be going stir-crazy, too, and I can't blame the abundance of snow Michigan has been hit with lately.  My hubby and I currently share a car, so my window of time to get out and about before he heads to his job every day is slim to none.  Grocery shopping with one or two kids in tow has been the highlight of my winter life since the holidays have passed.  I can't complain too much.  I am the ultimate homebody, but there comes a point when being home too much can drive anyone mad. Which brings me back to the move.  The closer I am to my friends and family, the more often I'll see them.  See, I'm being positive. ;)

  Thought #4: While Jeff and I seem to be holding up well through all of our hiccups and struggles, I have family members who are dealing with things as well.  Things that aren't mine to share, and things that are out of my hands.  I hurt for them, pray for them, and these things affect me more than they'll know.  That's the thing about family... when one faces sickness, heartache, or hard times, we all face it together.

  Thought #5: Life isn't all bad and stressful right now.  While there are many time consuming issues that we're dealing with, I couldn't have asked for a better man to walk through life with.  I feel that our marriage has become stronger in the past few months than it has over the past twelve years.  There is a deeper connection and a higher level of trust than I've experienced, and it is refreshing to let go and allow Jeff to be the husband he's been proving himself to be over and over throughout our marriage.  I'm a tough shell to break, and he's a patient, patient man.

  More Thoughts:

  We've had some fun in our little hermit hut... the Tooth Fairy paid Logie Bear a visit... twice in one week, KayKay made cute masks and the kids have been getting very creative in their free time, Ellie Belle has been improving upon her princess/diva/ballerina skills, HayHay has been cooking up a storm, I've been enjoying alone nights watching shows and movies with each child, and we've had visitors every now and then.  These are some of the little moments that keep me going.

  Life has swooped me up into a fast moving whirlwind all while forcing me to stay put and practice patience at the same time.  The great thing is, despite all the nay-saying from outsiders, and despite some stressful circumstances, the Lord has really given me peace about it all.  I've had my moments of doubt, but He has gently, but quickly helped me to snap out of them every time.  God is good, even when life can be hard.  God is here in the good times and bad.

  We all go through different seasons in life.  We all face trials and tribulations.  We are all blessed with victories.  I can't imagine going through life without Jesus.  I can't imagine how lonely that would be.  He is my constant.  He is the rock I cling to when I need a solid foundation.  He is the loving arms I run to when I need comfort.  He is the first to cheer with me when things go right.  God is the ultimate Friend, Father, Coach, Cheerleader, and Superhero.  He is everything to me and I can't begin to express how grateful I am to be His child.  If you're going through stressful situations and need the best of friends to help you through, turn to Jesus.  There is no better friend in the world.

  Jeff and I will get through these obstacles.  We've been through much, much worse.  We'll face more trials down the road.  Bring it on, life! Bring it on!  With God by our side, we will come out victorious!  So will you, friends.  Face your storms with the ultimate Superhero by your side.  You will not be disappointed.

  If you need prayer or encouragement this week, please don't hesitate to contact me.  I know I have benefited greatly from the support of friends and family.  I've been through a lot, so I am no stranger to the stresses and sorrows of life.  It would be my privilege to pray with you through your hard times... and praise God with you through your good times.


Be blessed!

~Em

When They Grow Up...

  When you ask a young child what they'd like to be when they grow up, more often than not they'll say something like, "a dinosaur" or "a princess."  We parents find it to be comical and absolutely adorable,  but sometimes we'll dismiss those ideas and ask them to give us a "real" goal or job they'd like to have.  

  Why do we do this?  Why do we force them to think like grown ups when they are just small human beings who want to dream and imagine and conquer fears in their own little ways?  

 I love my kids' imaginations.  I love to hear their hopes and dreams, no matter how trivial or silly they may seem to grown ups.  My Logie Bear wants to be Batman when he grows up.  It makes me chuckle, but it also makes me proud.  We must see beyond the character they want to be and see the qualities that character has.  Batman fights bad guys and saves innocent people.  Logie Bear wants to be  a hero.  He wants to make sure people are safe from harm.  That is a very admirable goal for such a little guy. 

  Some of our older kids might have lofty goals as well.  Some might have typical dreams, some surprising, some expected. As we adults know, goals often change, but our hearts and our intentions remain the same... even if the particular dream gets tweaked a bit.  Some dreams or the paths our children take might seem scary or foolish to us.  Some of the decisions we make might seem foolish to our parents.  As long as we're following God's lead, as long as our children are following His plan for their lives, none of us have the right to take over or interfere.  

  Instead of forcing our dreams onto our children, we should embrace theirs.  Instead of telling them the better way to handle their future lives as adults, we should step back and see things from their point of view.  

  College, corporate jobs, and mainstream careers, while wonderful, aren't for everyone.  If a child has a goal to do something that brings in less money, does that make them less of a person? No!  A person can be completely fulfilled without having the newest, fanciest possessions.  A person can be completely fulfilled with a job they love, even if that means their pockets aren't quite as full.  On that note, some of our hopes and dreams for our children could hurt them or be a stumbling block if we aren't careful.  If we force them to stay in the family business or reach for a career that will make them wealthy, they could end up resenting us and feeling completely unfulfilled, no matter how much money they rake in.  Every parent wishes, prays, hopes for the best for their children.  When we try to take that into our own hands instead of leaving their decisions where they should be (between our child and God), things can get messy.  We aren't God.  We don't always know best, even when we'd like to believe we do.  

  While God placed us in the lives of our children to be a guide through this confusing world, He did not ask us to be dictators.  Love on your children, embrace their dreams, hopes, and goals.  Help them up when they stumble, hold them when they cry, but never look down on them for approaching things their way.  We all have to find our way through life.  Sometimes we need to do it on our own and learn things the hard way.  Other times, we realize we can't do it on our own and we reach out to our loved ones for guidance.  Step back when your children want to discover who they are on their own.  Swoop in with loving open arms when they express their need for you.  

  My children want to be superheroes, farmers, IT guys, chefs, and princesses.  They have reasons behind their dreams and if they don't, they have a heart for their passions.  Embracing my children's dreams doesn't mean I'm feeding them to the wolves.  They're still young... they're still safely nestled under our wings within the walls of our home.  By showing them I love their hearts and goals in life, I'm putting trust in them and loving them as they are.  By dreaming with them instead of for them, I am showing them that they are valuable.  

  I mess up often in this parenting journey.  Sometimes I do things that go against what I know to be true because I stop trusting God with my babies and have a strong desire to take things in my own hands.  This is one area in which I stand firm.  I believe my children are their own people.  They came from Jeff and I, but they are not us and never will be.  I value them as individuals and I don't want to make them feel less than because they have different interests and passions than I.  Will you do this for your children?  Will you value them as their individual selves, or would you rather they do things your way?  While we can train them and teach them to be godly upstanding citizens, we can't force them to be someone they're clearly not.  So let go of the mini-me mentality and let your children use their wings.  Let them fly and catch them when they fall. And do it all in love, the love only a parent can give their child. 

~Em

Side Note:  If your young daughter expresses a desire to become a stripper, or your son expresses his desire to become a drug dealer, by all means, PUT A STOP to that dream! ;)  This post is all about embracing your child as God created them, not as the sinful world shapes them to be.  We obviously need to use discernment, but we need to remember that God created our children and knit them in our wombs... we were just the vessels that carried them to life.  We are here being God's hands and feet.  We can't forget that. :)  

Our Homestead Dreams

  Jeff and I have had dreams of starting a small (tiny, perhaps) homestead for the past few years.  I'm sure Jeff has longed for that dream to become a reality much, much longer than I.  I lost sight of those dreams on and off due to circumstances or my state of mind at that particular time.

  Over the past few months, I've been enjoying the conveniences of the house we currently live in.  We're literally across the street from a grocery store, we have neighbors real close by (which is a blessing and a burden, depending on the day), I have the prettiest and most spacious kitchen I've ever had, we enjoy the convenience of a master bathroom, and the list goes on.  I got really wrapped up in the prettiness and convenience of this home.  It is vastly different from where we lived before.  This is good and bad.

  Our current house has a pitiful excuse for a yard.  It is a yard, but it feels like nothing compared to the thirteen wooded acres we lived on before.  Our current house is a one year old manufactured home with what I value as all the "bells and whistles."  We have a walk in pantry, tons of cupboard space, walk in closets in all the bedrooms, and a dishwasher.  This isn't the trailer that comes to mind when I think of the mobile homes we had seen or been in growing up.  This thing is a legit house.  Seeing it from the inside, you'd never know it could be torn apart and hauled off to another location.

Our current kitchen, before we moved in.

June 2013

  Our previous house was big and unique and had its own charm, but it was very hard to heat and we struggled with keeping the mice at bay.  It was too much house for my taste.  But the yard, oh the yard.  It was my idea of heaven.  Trees surrounding us, lots of room to play, a big fire pit, and a long driveway perfect for bike rides and walks.  We made friends with some cows and horses who grazed on a pasture that backed up to our driveway.  We saw so much wildlife and experienced so many things that city life just can't provide.

The kids playing track and field games in our old yard.  Oh, how I miss this yard.

June 2013 

I took this while walking through the woods before the greenery of spring took over.

April 2013

One of our little friends.  The kids named him Oreo Lightning McQueen. lol

June 2012

  

  Sometimes, in the moment, I would become frustrated with where we lived.   We were about 30 minutes or more from our friends and family, 20+ minutes from an affordable grocery store, and I would feel lonely (we share a car, so it was rare for me to leave while Jeff was at work), even with homeschooling four kids.  Despite the struggles that I so eagerly pointed out while living in our previous home, it was home.  I felt at peace whenever I'd walk the property.  I felt closer to nature and in ways, my mental struggles with where we were at the time brought me closer to God.  Living there, with all the mishaps and annoyances we experienced made me stronger.  I didn't fully appreciate just how much I grew while living there until I took the time to look back on it objectively.

  I believe I am a better person for having lived there and I believe while I was bent to the point of almost breaking (mentally), we were exactly where we were meant to be.  It was in that place that God could chip through the hard shell I had formed around my heart to show me that a simple life is what Jeff, the kids, and I really need.

  I struggled with feeling left out of many events, activities, and get togethers my friends and family participated in.  I struggled with the why's and how's of our ending up there.  The struggle was unbearable at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

  As much as I love an updated house full of new appliances and pretty fixtures, my heart longs for the country.  I long to live off the land and force myself into some good, old fashioned work.  I long to give my children the experience of growing and raising their own food.  I long to have them look back on life and see it as a full one.... full of memories of being outside, raising animals, gardening, and playing just as hard as they work.  A life away from the tv and computer screens.  A life of scrapes and bruises from playing without the fear of dirt and mud.  A life of grand experiences that money and the things this modern world can't provide.  I want us to get back to our roots, to become closer to nature and to rely on ourselves and our God more than big chain grocery and department stores.

  I want to provide my family with organically grown food without the enormous price tag. I want to make our own lotions and potions and cleaners (I've started this somewhat and will share a post on that soon). I want the kids to see that their food doesn't come from a shelf or a freezer, but that it comes from the earth.  I want the satisfaction that comes from growing food, fixing things, and building things ourselves.  I want to live life on purpose.

  Sometimes I become overwhelmed when I think of all the hard work this lifestyle will bring and the vast amount of knowledge I have to gain while pursuing this dream.  Living a simple life is far from simple.  But the simplicity that comes from hard work and dedication takes hold of me in a way that filling a grocery cart or watching my favorite tv shows can never do.

  So yes, while living in this pretty, convenient home has been much more like a vacation than every day life, I will gladly trade it for less house and more yard.  I will gladly embrace outdated fixtures and countertops if I need to, in order to get started on our dream.  It took me a long time, and many isolated experiences to come to this.  It took a whole lot to bring my mind to the point of letting go of the "pretty" and embracing the humbleness of a simple life, but I have arrived and I can not wait to get started with making this new adventure happen.

  We're not sure when or where our little homestead will be planted, but when it is, our lives will change for the better. 

~Em

If you have experience with homesteading on any scale, we'd love to learn from you!  If you'd just like to follow along and keep up with our new lifestyle, join our Facebook page and we'll post our thoughts and experiences for you to read. 

Our Family Planning Testimony

  Family planning seems to be a hot topic these days.  Everyone has their opinions on the appropriate size and methods to creating the perfect family.  There are those who think everyone should stop after two or three kids for whatever reason (financial, population control, the emotional toll many kids could have on a mom, etc.).  There are those who want as many children as they can get.  All growing up I just knew I wanted 6 kids.  It seemed like the perfect number to me.  It was large, but not too large.  Just right.

  Then you get into the birth control debate.  Pills, IUDs, natural family planning, the list goes on.  Some choose to forgo birth control all together.  Some have difficulty conceiving, so they go through surrogates, in vitro fertilization, and other avenues to make this happen.  There are also those who foster or adopt children.

   I've had varying opinions on family planning throughout the years.  Not all were true to my core beliefs, but not all were wrong, either.  I believe with all of my heart, and I always have, that family planning is a personal choice to be made between the couple and God.  There are words of wisdom that can come from many people, but when it comes right down to it, it is a personal conviction, no matter how others see it.
 
  I was on the pill for short periods of time before and after our first son was born.  I never felt right about it, but it was just what a woman did.  I was young and naive and didn't research much in those days.  I took my doctor's word for it instead of really digging into the pros and cons.  I do not look down on anyone who chooses to use this method.  Not at all.  I just never felt peace about it for myself.  I highly suggest doing your research and seeking God's will, no matter what.

  After our second daughter was born, I thought we could be done procreating.  I wasn't set on putting an end to our family's growth, but I thought that we should take matters into our own hands to make sure we were good and ready before adding another little one to the mix.

  When we were ready, my husband and I just let things happen however they were going to happen before becoming pregnant with my third.  A little time went by before we were ready for a fourth.  But between each pregnancy, we prevented until we didn't want to prevent anymore.

  After our fourth baby was born, things went well for a while.  I was in what I thought was a good place, but circumstances and feelings started changing and I went to a hard place emotionally.  I knew I was DONE having kids for good! I love my kids. I absolutely adore them.  I was just in a place where the thought of having another stressed me beyond belief.  My insistence on preventing more pregnancies hurt our marriage deeply. At the time, I didn't see it for what it was, but I see it clear as day looking back.

  Just shy of four years after giving birth to our youngest little princess, I began to have a change of heart, but I'd brush those thoughts away.  It's just not logical to have more children.  At least it isn't in most people's minds, and I wouldn't want to offend anyone by birthing yet another baby, would I? ;)  When that desire became a bit stronger, I went to God.  He is the wisest of us all.  He knows our desires, our capabilities, our needs, much more than we know them ourselves.

  This past summer, I studied the Word, sought out wisdom from varying opinions, and prayed like a madwoman.  I do not go into this lightly. This is a big deal.  A really big deal.  After much digging, prayer, and thought, I realized that this is something I want to put into God's hands.  If I'm going to trust Him completely, I need to trust Him with everything, right? I don't see my current children as a burden.  I see them as incredible gifts.  Why should I withhold any other blessings God wants to give Jeff and I?  Why should I live out of fear?  When we live in fear of anything, we are lacking trust.

  When I gave my fears over to the Lord, I decided it was time to discuss it with my husband.  He is a man of few words.  He has to be, he's married to quite the talker.  I wrote him a letter, because I am able to share my heart through writing in a way that my voice can not convey.  I stuck the letter on the bathroom counter before going to bed that night (I have a habit of doing this).  The next morning we talked a bit.  I assumed the conversation would last a lot longer than it did.  I expected some hesitation on Jeff's part, but I believe he saw my heart and my desire to give this up to God, so he was game.

  Our marriage has seen vast improvement since taking this leap of faith in so many ways.  I personally feel that so much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  The cloud of doubt has evaporated and the sun is shining brightly.  We have actually let go of the burden of living in fear of the unknown when it comes to conceiving another child.  We don't have the goal of birthing 19 children and landing a spot on a reality television series.  We're not much for the spotlight, we're rather camera shy, and are 98% sure God doesn't have that many children in mind for us. ;)

  I do have to confess that I became slightly frustrated when a couple months went by without any "news" to share.  I half expected to be "expecting" right away.  I was always very fertile. It happened right away every other time, and once caught us completely off guard.  Why was it different this time? Then the Lord kinda checked my attitude.  I was supposed to give this up to Him. That was my plan at first, I shouldn't forget it.  Baby or no baby, it was His call.  Why was I all of the sudden so gung ho to have another?  Of course, another baby would be a huge blessing.  The children we have are huge blessings.  Either way, Jeff and I have been blessed beyond measure and we will allow God to give or withhold as He sees fit.

  I share all of this, not because I feel I owe it to anyone, and definitely not to talk anyone into doing things our way, but to encourage you to own your values and convictions and not to let others' opinions take those away from you.  I expect a bit of a negative reaction from most people.  I'm hoping for some positivity, but this way of thinking is quite radical to most, so I'll understand if I receive backlash for sharing.

  As I post this, the minutes will go by like hours and the hours like days while I await the texts and calls from concerned loved ones.  That's okay.  It's okay to be concerned.  It is not okay to tell others what the Lord has or has not laid on their hearts.  I am careful, but sometimes fail, in taking this approach with my friends and family.  I don't know their hearts, other than what they've so graciously shared with me.  I don't know what the Lord says to them. So I have no right to interfere.  I need to respect the beliefs of others, just as I sweetly ask them to respect mine. :)

  Stop at one baby, or go for twenty.  The choice is yours and yours alone! Enjoy the family you have and embrace whoever comes along in the future.  I am so happy for this outlook.  I am so happy that this world is a diverse place, full of thoughts and opinions of all kinds.  If our opinions clash, so be it.  I love you just the same.  I pray that the feeling's mutual. :)

Em


 

Silence is Golden

  I love my children.  I love being home with them every day.  I enjoy our morning routine of breakfast, chores, family devotions, and school lessons.  Our mornings are far from perfect, but they are ours. I cherish the time I have with the kids and I pray that these moments will provide fond memories for them when they are grown.
  However, by the time lunch rolls around, I'm usually ready to throw in the towel.  While child-rearing has its blessings and rewards, it can also drain you down to a pile of mush. We parents put our all into our children.  We sing, laugh, and play with them.  We teach and learn from them.  We kiss boo boos and break up fights.  It can take a toll on even the strongest of minds.
  Enter: Quiet Time! Ahhh.... I rather enjoy a few minutes of time alone.  Cuddles and conversations are welcomed activities, but a momma can use a little R&R in her day.  My quiet time usually involves a good, long stare at a wall or a quick (sometimes not so quick) skimming of my Facebook newsfeed. Other times I'll read or journal.  Sleeping is fun, too! Guess what I'm doing during quiet time today? ;)
  Here are our Quiet Time requirements for the kids:  Since all of my children have outgrown their naps, we separate into our own little corners of the house after lunch.
  My 4 and 6 year olds must be in their bedrooms.  They can play quietly (alone) if they'd like, but they must stay put until quiet time is over.  If they fall asleep while reading, that is a bonus! Judging from the silence I hear right now, they are both in la la land. Oh, sweet icing on top of a delicious peaceful cake.
  My 9 and 11 year olds must park it on a couch or sit at the table and do quiet activities like reading, unfinished schoolwork, age appropriate computer games, or drawing.... alone! They are more than welcome to sleep if they'd like, but that is a rare occurrence.
  There is no talking during quiet time.  Silence is golden, remember? ;)  It does a person good to be alone for a bit.  It gives us time to wind down and recharge for some more fun and chaos.
  Our quiet time lasts 1 hour minimum.  After one hour, the older kids are ready to hang out.  Sometimes the littles fall asleep, so we continue keeping the noise down until everyone is awake. (90 minutes strong and still going today! I'll take it!)
  There is resistance from my littles most days.  They "need" to come out of their rooms to go potty twenty times, or to ask when quiet time will be over.  Since I'm such a stickler for time alone, I give them a reminder that they must stay in their rooms. If they come out a second time, other than for a legit potty break, I extend their quiet time.  This has proven to work really well, especially for my youngest, because she is little miss social.  If there is threat to spend time alone longer than necessary, she pipes down and serves her time quietly.
  When quiet time is over, we get back to being social and we're able to do that with much more ease than if we were to throw out quiet time altogether.  I definitely notice when we've skipped over our quiet time. Cranky kids, cranky Mom, cat fights, and meltdowns abound.  No fun! Quiet time for all, I say!

  Do you require quiet/nap times in your home?  How does that work for you?  What advantages do you find in having some time to yourself during the day?  Please share! :)