*A Challenge for my Friends*

    There's so much happening in the world today that has people on edge.  I especially notice it in the Christian community.  It seems everyone, from all walks of life are feeling persecuted in some way.  People are offended by so many things that the verbal wars run rampant. Others are terrified for their safety - their lives - because of terrorism, natural disasters, and what many have been calling "the signs of the times."

    As I scrolled through my newsfeed, tonight, I began to weep.  I cried because my heart is heavy and broken.  I can only imagine what God is feeling.  There are so many things I see that hurt me to my core.... and some that don't, but probably should.  This world is chaos.  This world is scary.  There are no guarantees.... the horrible possiblilities are infinite.

    Children are being taken from loving, stable homes because of parents who think outside the box.  Others are being left in unsafe homes, despite obvious signs of abuse and neglect.  People are fighting over the definition of marriage.  Innocent unborn human lives are being killed and tossed in the trash daily.  Women and children are being trafficked into unimaginable forms of slavery (what type of slavery isn't?).  The right to bear arms is being debated because of criminals who commit heinous crimes.  We're fighting over flags and symbols and food while our country crumbles beneath our feet.

   I wanted to throw in the towel.  I wanted to say "to hell with it all" and hide in a cave somewhere.  But the Lord tugged on my heart..... my imperfect, often bitter, sinful, broken, yet willing heart.  He reminded me that we must cast all our cares upon HIM.  He loves us.  He loves us despite our sinfulness, brokenness, wretchedness.  He sees His creation.  He sees through the ugliness and finds the beauty in His children.  He desires that we all allow Him to cleanse us.... He desires that we all seek FREEDOM in Him.  He wants to extend His grace and mercy, if only we'll accept it.

    We all obviously have very strong convictions on many topics.  Things get heated.  Friendships get ruined.  I noticed I've lost a few friends recently, and I haven't said much about anything lately other than what life is like with my husband and kiddos.  Maybe I've said a few things here and there, but man, I try my best to say everything out of love.... yet my words, too, are offensive to some.  You know, that's okay.  While part of me has this desire to keep everyone happy and to keep the peace, maybe I'm just not the best sort of friend for all the people in the world.... and maybe all the people in the world just aren't the best sorts of friends for me.

    In the midst of all these crumbling friendships, various mini-battles, and other happenings that tend to bring us down.... I challenge you, those friends I do have left, to walk in love.  Whether you are a believer or not, whether you're gay or straight, republican, democrat, black, white, purple, fat, thin, rich, or poor.... keep your convictions, speak highly of the things you believe in, but walk in love.  LOVE.

    We don't have to agree on everything to love each other.  Right?  I mean, my husband and I don't agree on everything.  We agree on most things, but sometimes we disagree.  That doesn't mean I'm going to unfriend him on Facebook and throw a tantrum and spew words of hate at him..... well, okay, I may have messed up and done one or two of those things, one, or a few times.... but the point is ~ we still love each other.  That might not be the best example, seeing as we made vows to stick together for life.... but the same can be applied to most of my friendships.  Those that aren't worth keeping can fizzle out, peacefully.... but there's no need to shake my finger in their face, threaten to unfriend them if they don't see things my way, and act juvenile over every little issue every.single.day.

    If you must choose different paths from those you know, do so quietly.... lovingly. If you can overlook your differences.... even better!  Life is too short for me to hate on those who have different opinions.  Life is too valuable for me to waste my time arguing with people of opposite views.  I want to change lives for the better, not beat my opinions into them.  I want to encourage, uplift, and strengthen others.... I don't want to be the cause of stress, anxiety, or defeat in another person's life.

    If you have different views than me, know that I love you.... Jesus loves you (even if you don't believe in Him), and I send you hugs.... You are cherished by the One who created you.  You are loved ever so much.  You are valued.  You are amazing.

~Em
 

Quality Friendships

  I don't know about you, but as time marches on, I feel more and more pressured by many of the "friendships" I have.  It seems these days that it is no longer about quality friendships and those bonds you form with people, but about what you can do for them.  It's more about the stuff, the money, the status of it all.  It's more about how you can make them look like the raddest, prettiest, most fantastic person on the planet.

  Don't get me wrong, I still have a handful of friendships that are the real deal.  I appreciate those women more than they will ever know.  I find though, that as soon as you decide to stop showering people with gifts, or stop buying every little trinket from home parties or Facebook parties, those friends start slipping away.  Which, in all reality, is the best thing for us.  Do we really want to hold on to synthetic friendships when we can have organic, real, genuine relationships with people?

  As a side note, I realize that being involved with an at home "business" of sorts might make some of my friends feel pressured.  I don't want that at all!  Not at all!  I am promoting something I believe in and something that I feel can help my friends and their families, but I don't hold it against someone when they choose to take another route, and I certainly don't want anyone to feel like they need to buy my products in order to keep me happy.  I love my friends regardless of those petty pressures we so often put ourselves under.  Buy what you like, don't buy what you don't, and just hang out with me when you can.  Isn't that how it should be?

  I've noticed that I've become a bit more introverted over the years... much to my family's benefit.  I don't put so much effort and so many of my feelings into friendships that have no value.  I have more energy and happy feelings to put into my family.  Not to say that I don't have my bad days or weeks, but overall, since I decided that it's far more about the quality of my friendships, rather than the quantity of friends I have, I have become much, much more content.

  I've slowly been putting forth more effort into friendships again, and with that comes both the good and the bad.  Unfortunately, many people still see their friends as numbers, and not so much as individuals that can bring something of substance into their lives.

  While I'm not the best friend on the planet, I do care about my friends... even when I can't always physically be there or financially support their ventures.  I'm more of the kind of friend who focuses on "heart" matters, rather than surface stuff.  Need to talk something out? I'm your gal!  Want to enjoy a laid back night with my family and some good grilled food? You've come to the right place!  Want me to shower you with gifts and extravagant trips?  Sorry... you'll have to keep looking.

  Energy drainers, selfishness, and people who care only about their image suck the life right out of me and I just don't have it in me to pretend anymore.  I will be kind to all, I will love most everyone I come into contact with, but most people will be loved from a distance at this point.  I'm finally at a point where I can feel comfortable with that.  I'm finally at a point where I don't need to attempt to keep everyone I know happy.

  I've had many supporters and teachers along the way who have helped me come to this new-ish way of thinking.  My parents, in-laws, husband (he is the king of setting the right priorities in life), my sister-in law, and the list goes on. I appreciate that these people have been so patient with me over the years, and that they never gave up on me or saw me as a lost cause.  They saw that I am a sensitive person who picks up on other people's feelings quite easily, and they saw that I needed to fine tune my "gift", so to speak, so that it would no longer be a curse as well.  I have a long way to go, but when I look back and see how far I've come, I am happy that I have made great progress.

  Life can be so difficult.  We think it's hard when we're teens, but it only gets tougher as we age... especially as our children start nearing those teenage years.  I want to be that good example of balance for my kids.  I want to show them how to be kind to others without allowing them to walk all over them.  I want them to know that they and their dad are my top priorities, and that while friendships are important, family always comes first.

  I am still so new to getting this right that I don't have words of wisdom to share, other than the experiences I've had.  It's a never-ending battle, but I am winning, bit by bit, as I reach for my goal of being pleasing to God, my husband, and my children, first and foremost.

  If you're fighting a similar battle today, or a battle of any sort at all, know that you are in my prayers and that I am cheering you on!  Focus on your family and those friends who bring quality benefits and goodness into your life, who you can bless in the same way... not in the materialistic sense, but in the spiritual, emotional way. Be blessed, friends.  Know that the Lord is fighting the good fight with you and he's holding your hand as you navigate your way through this confusing and adventurous life.

~Em