Our Homestead Dreams

  Jeff and I have had dreams of starting a small (tiny, perhaps) homestead for the past few years.  I'm sure Jeff has longed for that dream to become a reality much, much longer than I.  I lost sight of those dreams on and off due to circumstances or my state of mind at that particular time.

  Over the past few months, I've been enjoying the conveniences of the house we currently live in.  We're literally across the street from a grocery store, we have neighbors real close by (which is a blessing and a burden, depending on the day), I have the prettiest and most spacious kitchen I've ever had, we enjoy the convenience of a master bathroom, and the list goes on.  I got really wrapped up in the prettiness and convenience of this home.  It is vastly different from where we lived before.  This is good and bad.

  Our current house has a pitiful excuse for a yard.  It is a yard, but it feels like nothing compared to the thirteen wooded acres we lived on before.  Our current house is a one year old manufactured home with what I value as all the "bells and whistles."  We have a walk in pantry, tons of cupboard space, walk in closets in all the bedrooms, and a dishwasher.  This isn't the trailer that comes to mind when I think of the mobile homes we had seen or been in growing up.  This thing is a legit house.  Seeing it from the inside, you'd never know it could be torn apart and hauled off to another location.

Our current kitchen, before we moved in.

June 2013

  Our previous house was big and unique and had its own charm, but it was very hard to heat and we struggled with keeping the mice at bay.  It was too much house for my taste.  But the yard, oh the yard.  It was my idea of heaven.  Trees surrounding us, lots of room to play, a big fire pit, and a long driveway perfect for bike rides and walks.  We made friends with some cows and horses who grazed on a pasture that backed up to our driveway.  We saw so much wildlife and experienced so many things that city life just can't provide.

The kids playing track and field games in our old yard.  Oh, how I miss this yard.

June 2013 

I took this while walking through the woods before the greenery of spring took over.

April 2013

One of our little friends.  The kids named him Oreo Lightning McQueen. lol

June 2012

  

  Sometimes, in the moment, I would become frustrated with where we lived.   We were about 30 minutes or more from our friends and family, 20+ minutes from an affordable grocery store, and I would feel lonely (we share a car, so it was rare for me to leave while Jeff was at work), even with homeschooling four kids.  Despite the struggles that I so eagerly pointed out while living in our previous home, it was home.  I felt at peace whenever I'd walk the property.  I felt closer to nature and in ways, my mental struggles with where we were at the time brought me closer to God.  Living there, with all the mishaps and annoyances we experienced made me stronger.  I didn't fully appreciate just how much I grew while living there until I took the time to look back on it objectively.

  I believe I am a better person for having lived there and I believe while I was bent to the point of almost breaking (mentally), we were exactly where we were meant to be.  It was in that place that God could chip through the hard shell I had formed around my heart to show me that a simple life is what Jeff, the kids, and I really need.

  I struggled with feeling left out of many events, activities, and get togethers my friends and family participated in.  I struggled with the why's and how's of our ending up there.  The struggle was unbearable at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

  As much as I love an updated house full of new appliances and pretty fixtures, my heart longs for the country.  I long to live off the land and force myself into some good, old fashioned work.  I long to give my children the experience of growing and raising their own food.  I long to have them look back on life and see it as a full one.... full of memories of being outside, raising animals, gardening, and playing just as hard as they work.  A life away from the tv and computer screens.  A life of scrapes and bruises from playing without the fear of dirt and mud.  A life of grand experiences that money and the things this modern world can't provide.  I want us to get back to our roots, to become closer to nature and to rely on ourselves and our God more than big chain grocery and department stores.

  I want to provide my family with organically grown food without the enormous price tag. I want to make our own lotions and potions and cleaners (I've started this somewhat and will share a post on that soon). I want the kids to see that their food doesn't come from a shelf or a freezer, but that it comes from the earth.  I want the satisfaction that comes from growing food, fixing things, and building things ourselves.  I want to live life on purpose.

  Sometimes I become overwhelmed when I think of all the hard work this lifestyle will bring and the vast amount of knowledge I have to gain while pursuing this dream.  Living a simple life is far from simple.  But the simplicity that comes from hard work and dedication takes hold of me in a way that filling a grocery cart or watching my favorite tv shows can never do.

  So yes, while living in this pretty, convenient home has been much more like a vacation than every day life, I will gladly trade it for less house and more yard.  I will gladly embrace outdated fixtures and countertops if I need to, in order to get started on our dream.  It took me a long time, and many isolated experiences to come to this.  It took a whole lot to bring my mind to the point of letting go of the "pretty" and embracing the humbleness of a simple life, but I have arrived and I can not wait to get started with making this new adventure happen.

  We're not sure when or where our little homestead will be planted, but when it is, our lives will change for the better. 

~Em

If you have experience with homesteading on any scale, we'd love to learn from you!  If you'd just like to follow along and keep up with our new lifestyle, join our Facebook page and we'll post our thoughts and experiences for you to read. 

Be Present in the Present

  

  I'm always looking to the future.  I look forward to what is to come.  Often, I find that I'm neglectful of the present when planning, dreaming, and hoping for a great future.  I feel like the Lord purposefully gives me tiny glimpses for what is to come so that I don't completely forget what is in the here and now.

  For example, about a year and a half ago, God placed Louisiana on my heart.  In this instance, the tiny glimpses came one right after another.  Instead of waiting on Him to show me the way, I began researching like crazy.  Of course, He knew I'd do this, so He used it to show me more than I would have seen had I not hopped on the Internet.  While we are still here in good ol' Michigan, I do believe the day will come that we will pack up, leave this Mitten and head down to that boot-shaped state.

  Looking back, I see that God gave me a head start.  A really, really long head start.  He knew that when He planted Louisiana in my heart I would obsess, worry, and plan like the rigid planner I am.  For a while, I forgot to live in the here and now.  I was physically in Michigan, but my mind was in the swampy south.  I became anxious because I was trying to take all of that into my own hands.  I wanted to make the move happen when I wanted it to happen.  Clearly, those weren't God's plans.  He didn't place Louisiana on my heart for me to uproot my family and run away from where I was.  He wants us to go there on His terms and in His timing.  I still find myself guessing when that will be.  "Oh, I'm sure it's at least 10 years down the road," or sometimes I'll say, "We might move a year from now."  I can really sound like a crazy person.  I need to give control back to God and let Him call the shots.  If He has us move there tomorrow, we're going to do it.  If the move isn't meant to happen until all of our kids are grown, we will wait.  God's timing is much more simple than we make it out to be.  We're the ones who complicate it by trying to take over.

  I believe He put Louisiana on my heart when He did not only to prepare me, but to heal me during a really confusing and dark time in my life.  He wanted to give me hope for my family's future.  He wanted to give me something to grasp on to when I felt I was sinking faster and faster by the minute.  Sometimes, in our dark and hopeless seasons, we forget that time moves forward.  Sometimes we think that the place we're in is where we'll be until the day we die.  We so desperately want out of our situation that we forget to wait on God and His almighty plan for our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

  Another example from my own life, and I've touched on this before, is Jeff's and my desire to leave our family size up to God.  This was a HUGE step for me.  Things like this seem to come a lot easier to Jeff.  I guess he's just more trusting than I.  I thought I was done birthing babies.  I didn't feel fit to parent more than four children.  I struggled with comparing myself to other moms, especially my own, and saw that I fall short in so many ways.

 Being the "all or nothing" kind of gal, when we decided that maybe we weren't done growing our family, I thought I should turn that "maybe" into a "definitely."  Conceiving always came easy to us, so it wasn't that we were actively trying, but in my mind, since we stopped preventing, I should have been pregnant that first month.  That's how it always worked before.

  A couple months went by and the only morning sickness I experienced was in my head.  I started looking around at all these women I know who were pregnant.  Some by accident, and some very purposefully.  A couple women who are close to me became pregnant unexpectedly, and I began to feel sorry for myself.  Very, very sorry.  I've never felt or understood that kind of pain before.  I've never longed for a child with no results.  I was spoiled.  I asked God why I would open my heart to the possibility of more children only to be shut down and have other women's pregnancies shoved in my face.  Why would He allow me to suffer like that when I was only seeking His will?

  Of course, silly me.... I wasn't seeking His will.  I was seeking my own.  God didn't open my heart to have me force my family's growth.  He opened my heart so I would allow Him to control whether or not we add to our family.  I was supposed to give it up to Him COMPLETELY.  I was already trying to live in the future... a future I wasn't for sure was certain.

  Thankfully I've gotten to the point in both instances, and many others, where I can just "let go and let God," as they say.  I'm done trying to make things happen my way, and I'm done putting so much focus on my future that I forget to appreciate all the blessings I currently have.  I have so many blessings!  I have love, and love abundant! My future is in GOOD hands, and so is yours.

  If you're fretting about what the future holds; if you're holding your breath, waiting on whatever is on the horizon, I've been there.  I know how it feels.  Let me tell you, it is a whole lot better giving your future up to God and learning to live in and enjoy the present.  There's no list of steps to take to get to this point.  There's no secret formula.  It might take something drastic to wrap your mind around the concept, but the only way to do it is to give it to God.  He holds the keys to your future and He wants a good, fulfilling, blessed future for you.  Gift your family and friends with your presence and let God handle whatever takes you away from those who love and need you now. Being present in the present is exhilarating, even for those of us who are sticklers for a good, solid plan.  I can't enforce this phrase enough: "Let go and let God!"  Be blessed today!

~Em

Fill the Void

  Every person is extremely complex.  Some may seem shallow, some may seem simple on the outside, but there is so much we can't see.  We are so complicated, that we can't possibly know even ourselves completely.  We don't know what choices we'll make tomorrow.  We don't know how strong we are until we go through something challenging.  We often don't know about the little details that add up to who we have become.

    As much as I love my husband, and as close as we are, I do not know him completely.  He doesn't know me completely.  We can't hear each other's thoughts.  We haven't been in each other's lives since conception.  We can't be together 100% of the time.  Jeff knows me more than any other person in my life, but he doesn't know me like God knows me.  Any time I take my trust in God and put it on Jeff's shoulders, I am let down.  It's not because Jeff is incapable of taking care of me.  It's not because he doesn't try.  It's because he's human.  It's because he didn't create me.  It's because he can't possibly know everything I need.  I often don't know what I need, so to put the pressure on another person is just setting us both up for disaster.

  We all have people we lean on.  That's important.  It's comforting.  But to put all of our love and trust and dependency on another person is dangerous.  We'll end up hurt and disappointed.  We'll resent that person for not meeting our needs in the way they need to be met.  They'll resent us for putting pressure like that on them.  None of us truly wants to be put up on a pedestal, because we know that at one point or another, we are going to fail the person that regards us so highly.

  I often struggle with giving my kids over to God.  I'd like to think I know best.  I like to be in control of what happens with them, to them, for them.  Every time I try to take control, I let myself down.  I let my kids down.  I know my kids so well.  I'm with them 24/7.  I've changed their diapers, soothed their cries, bandaged their scrapes, listened to their stories, cuddled them back to health when they were sick, and smothered them in kisses.  Yet, in all that love, care, and companionship, I do not know them like God knows them.  I often don't hear what they are really saying.  I sometimes struggle to understand them.  God doesn't.  He knows all of their thoughts, dreams, hurts, joys.  He knows what they need when they need it.

  As much as we mothers want recognition for all of our hard work, as much as we deserve a pat on the back, we can't be everything to our children.  Our spouses, parents, pastors, and friends can't be everything to us.  We're not capable of being the ultimate Comforter to our loved ones and they aren't capable of doing so for us.  It is so easy to run to a loved one in times of trouble.  It is so easy to fill a prescription or listen to a song or read that book to bandage up the hurt.  But that's all those things are.  Bandages.  They don't fix our problems.  They don't heal our wounds... they just cover them.

  It's easy to think that all we need is a night out or a coffee date with a good friend.  It's easy to run to our parents (even in adulthood) every time we need a pick-me-up or words of advice. Our need to be loved, comforted, embraced is real.  There's nothing wrong with this need.  In fact, God finds delight in loving, comforting, and embracing us.  That's what He's here for.  He loves us so much and wants only good for us.  He wants us to understand that people are good for us.  The good things He's blessed us with are great.  But nothing satisfies our thirst for being understood, our thirst for love, our thirst for filling our voids like Jesus.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

  I admit, I've tried to fill the void with almost everything but Jesus at times.  When I do that, depression sets in ~ because those things, while wonderful, don't quite do the trick.  We'll end up reaching and grabbing at anything that comes our way to get what we need only to end up empty handed in the end. True joy, true peace only comes from Jesus.  It comes from a true, solid relationship with Him.  It comes from a complete dependency upon Him.  The great news is, when we forget this, He's always right there waiting for us, ready to fill that void and refresh our spirits.  He will never leave us, nor forsake us... even when we forget to acknowledge Him.  God is our true Father, Friend, and Comforter.  Put all of your trust in Him and He will not disappoint.

~Em

Thank God for God

  Sometimes the pressure to be the "perfect Christian" is unbearable.  So many people have set ridiculously high religious standards and we are told to meet those expectations joyfully and without fail.  It's frustrating.  It makes me angry.  It turns many people off to having a relationship with Jesus because it turns the relationship into work and rules and condemnation.

  I am a Christian.  I am not "religious."  I am saved by God's grace and I don't pretend that I have earned a smidgen of it.

  Jeff and I haven't gone to church regularly (according to typical standards) in years.  It's not that we don't like church. Quite the contrary.  It's just that sometimes we're lazy. How's that for truth? ;)  Sometimes we are in between churches.  Perhaps we haven't found the right one.  Regardless, I don't believe this takes from our status as lovers of Jesus.

  I have the occasional glass or two of wine and have had to learn my limits.  I have tattoos.  Sometimes I listen to metal. *gasp!!!*   I've been known to lose my cool.  Sometimes I swear in the moment and feel immediate guilt, not because God smacks me upside the head, but because I know if certain people heard me say such an un-Christian-like word, I'd never hear the end of it.

  While my marriage has improved by leaps and bounds since my husband and I first wed, it isn't perfect.  Honestly, the majority of the problems we've encountered have been my fault.  I lose patience sometimes and yell at Jeff and the kids when I should be understanding and gentle with my words.

 Sometimes I seek advice from a friend instead of praying first.  Sometimes I don't like life.  I struggle with jealousy.  I often eat my emotions.... sometimes I scream my emotions.... sometimes I cry for no reason at all.  Sometimes I give legitimately bad advice.  I change my mind about certain issues a lot... issues that are often black and white on the religious side of the "Christian" world.

  I struggle with forgiveness.  I've often pretended to forgive while holding on to the anger and poisoning myself with bitterness and resentment.  I'm a glutton for punishment.  I hold on to friendships that can be toxic, for the sake of the other person.  I struggle with the desire to keep everyone happy.... when the only approval I need is God's.  I'm rebellious at times and super obedient at others.

  All too recently, I went downhill into depression for two years straight... Christians aren't supposed to struggle with depression.  I hated myself.  Christians aren't supposed to hate themselves.  We're made in God's image.  We are a new creation.  It hurts God's feelings when we dislike who He loves.

  I am sure I am not alone in my struggle to meet the demands the typical Christian society puts on us.  I don't hate Christians.  Like I said, I am one.  What I hate is the ideals we place in front of real, hurting, struggling, imperfect people.  "Here... this is what Christian life should be.  Do this, don't do that.  If you do this, you will be shunned by our people and will be forced to crawl back to the pagans and hell-bound sinners you once ran with."

  This isn't what Jesus wants.  Jesus loves on people.  He loved on the unlovable while He walked the earth, and He still loves you and I at our best and our worst times.  Do you know what makes me proud to be a Christian?  Other Christians who show the true love of God.  The gracious, merciful, undying love of God.  The kind that doesn't hold ridiculous ideals over people's heads.  The kind that gives second chances and the kind that keeps knocking on the doors of unlovable hearts.  I don't always extend this kind of love, but my ultimate goal is to spread God's message of hope and salvation.  I would hate to come across someone who is afraid of accepting Jesus because they know they aren't perfect.... without showing them that it is okay to let Him in.  He loves you regardless of your mistakes.  He loves you even when the high and mighty, all-knowing, perfect in every way Christians reject you.

  Jesus loves you.  He loves me.  He loves the woman who aborted her baby.  He loves homosexuals.  He loves drug addicts and prostitutes and even the hoity-toity church-going hypocrites.  He loves us despite our sins or our taboo choices and lifestyles.  He loves us and wants to free us of our struggles and our addictions and our shortcomings.  He wants to make us better.  He wants us to want better for ourselves, but he loves us just the same when we struggle over and over and over again.  His love for us never changes.

  Shut out any voice that tells you you aren't worth it.  Shut out any voice that tells you you have no right to accept His love.  Shut out any voice that tells you you should give up in your quest to help others because you have major sins on your back.

  Keep pressing on.  Keep striving to know God intimately.  Find those people who will love on you and show you the TRUE heart of Jesus, without all the condemnation, and mental beatings.  We can change.  It is possible, but we shouldn't change because others tell us to.  We should grow because we're seeking fellowship with God and because we want to be pleasing to Him.  We can hate sin.  We can hate the things that hold us back from being who we want to be in God.  What we can't hate are the people who sin.  We can't hate those who struggle.  We can't hate hypocrites.  We shouldn't hate ourselves.

   To my fellow believers,  please speak in love, not in condemnation.  Please hug a sinner instead of looking down your nose at them.  Please pray for others instead of pointing out their weaknesses.  This is just as much for me as it is for anybody.  We need to show LOVE in these trying times instead of bickering and hating on each other.  We need to set aside our differences and love each other the way God loves us.  I'm not asking you to accept sins and act like they're all good.  I'm asking that in spite of those sins, you extend kindness, gentleness, goodness, and love.

  When other Christians mess up, we shouldn't nag them about their pitfalls.  We know when we've sinned.  We don't need to have those mistakes put on blast.  We need love and forgiveness.  Every single person on the planet needs love and forgiveness.  Thank God for God... because oh, how we've failed each other.

Photo by: My lovely daughter, Kayleigh

 

Gifts from the Heart

"It's not the gift, but the thought that counts" rings so true to me.  Sometimes a gift can be... well... a let down, but when we know the giver's heart is in the right place, it can mean so much to us.  A well thought out gift, however, is the very best kind.  It's the kind of gift that the giver has put a LOT of thought into.  They wanted to give you something YOU love, not just something they'd love to give you.

  My dad is a great gift-giver.  He's one who puts a lot of thought into the gift he's giving.  In most cases, he puts a lot of time into his gifts as well.  Two gifts that stick out to me this year reached my heart in ways that typical gifts usually don't.  I'm not really a gift person.  I love giving them when I can.  It's fun receiving them, but I definitely wouldn't consider it to be my love language. However, when the gift is suited to my interests and who I am as a person, I am blown away.

  I'm not super into sports.  My husband is.  I resisted as long as I could, but one fateful day, not so long ago (a couple years, maybe?) I realized how much I enjoyed watching baseball.  Weird, right?  Of all the sports, baseball is my choice. However, I don't watch it unless the Detroit Tigers are playing, and even then, I don't know that they're playing unless Jeff tells me they're playing.  I'm one of those fans that knows very little about schedules and logistics, but I enjoy a good game.

  Jeff works long hours in the summer and it's hard for us to get away, so I hadn't been to a Tigers game and really really wanted to go.  My dad knew this and blessed my socks off by taking me to a game in October.  I was beyond excited!!!  If you know me, you know I'm a very reserved person while in a public/crowded place.  I kept my cool while at the game, but I soaked everything in like a sponge.  Inside, I was jumping up and down, doing cartwheels, and screaming at the top of my lungs.  I hope my dad could see the excitement in my eyes.  I hope I thanked him enough... although a thousand thank yous could not cover it!

  It wasn't just the game that was exciting to me. It wasn't just the sweatshirt or the snacks or the fact that I was being spoiled to the max.  I got to spend the day with my dad.  That doesn't happen often.  He's a grandpa and my kids like to hog him. ;)  It is always nice to have a heart to heart with one of your best friends.  It was awesome to share an exciting adventure and to become a kid again.  I often miss the good ol' days, and this definitely brought me back.  My dad knew I would be blessed by his generous gift.  He knew I'd enjoy the game.  I don't think he has any idea of the impact that gesture and that quality time had on my spirit.

  I also have this slight obsession with peacocks... especially the feathers.  They're so pretty and they have significant meaning to me beyond the beautiful appearance.  I love them so much I have one permanently stamped on my arm.  My husband had spotted some real peacock feathers in our former landlord's garage and mentioned that I love feathers.  He said Jeff and the kids could take them home so I could enjoy them. I was blessed not only by Jeff and the fact that he'd think of me when seeing those feathers, but I was blessed by our landlord and his kindness in allowing Jeff to give me such a pretty gift.

  We're currently working on decorating our bedroom in a peacock theme.  I'm trying to keep it classy and not go overboard, but I may very well end up on an episode of hoarders for having a room filled to the brim with peacock accessories. The peacocks have spilled over into our bathroom as well. If Jeff spots something, he picks it up for me.  Isn't that sweet?

  We had an entire wall behind our bed that was completely bare.  I mentioned to my dad that I'd love a painting to go above my bed. I threw out a couple ideas, but didn't want to push it.  I could always go shopping for a picture or two.

  I was blown away the other day when he brought in TWO paintings that he had lovingly crafted for me.  The time and effort and patience that he must have put into them goes above and beyond anything I would have ever expected.  He painted with beautiful colors on black backgrounds (my all time favorite "color").  I could just stare at them all day.  A picture of his paintings just won't do them justice.  They are beautiful and detailed and so far beyond what I could have ever imagined.  Anyone can go buy any old painting and it will look great.  A painting, made with love by a father for his daughter.... stunning!

  As we purchase Christmas gifts this year, let us remember who we are blessing.  Let us put forth true effort to bless others in ways that really touch their hearts and really show how much we care.  We can use our talents to bless someone.  We can give them our time.  We can go all out if we have the money, or we can dig down deep and find a way to bless our loved ones with priceless acts of kindness.  Let us be gift givers all year round.  Let us seek out opportunities to bless those we hold dear and let us not forget that we too can be blessed by giving our hearts to another.

~Em

Our Family Planning Testimony

  Family planning seems to be a hot topic these days.  Everyone has their opinions on the appropriate size and methods to creating the perfect family.  There are those who think everyone should stop after two or three kids for whatever reason (financial, population control, the emotional toll many kids could have on a mom, etc.).  There are those who want as many children as they can get.  All growing up I just knew I wanted 6 kids.  It seemed like the perfect number to me.  It was large, but not too large.  Just right.

  Then you get into the birth control debate.  Pills, IUDs, natural family planning, the list goes on.  Some choose to forgo birth control all together.  Some have difficulty conceiving, so they go through surrogates, in vitro fertilization, and other avenues to make this happen.  There are also those who foster or adopt children.

   I've had varying opinions on family planning throughout the years.  Not all were true to my core beliefs, but not all were wrong, either.  I believe with all of my heart, and I always have, that family planning is a personal choice to be made between the couple and God.  There are words of wisdom that can come from many people, but when it comes right down to it, it is a personal conviction, no matter how others see it.
 
  I was on the pill for short periods of time before and after our first son was born.  I never felt right about it, but it was just what a woman did.  I was young and naive and didn't research much in those days.  I took my doctor's word for it instead of really digging into the pros and cons.  I do not look down on anyone who chooses to use this method.  Not at all.  I just never felt peace about it for myself.  I highly suggest doing your research and seeking God's will, no matter what.

  After our second daughter was born, I thought we could be done procreating.  I wasn't set on putting an end to our family's growth, but I thought that we should take matters into our own hands to make sure we were good and ready before adding another little one to the mix.

  When we were ready, my husband and I just let things happen however they were going to happen before becoming pregnant with my third.  A little time went by before we were ready for a fourth.  But between each pregnancy, we prevented until we didn't want to prevent anymore.

  After our fourth baby was born, things went well for a while.  I was in what I thought was a good place, but circumstances and feelings started changing and I went to a hard place emotionally.  I knew I was DONE having kids for good! I love my kids. I absolutely adore them.  I was just in a place where the thought of having another stressed me beyond belief.  My insistence on preventing more pregnancies hurt our marriage deeply. At the time, I didn't see it for what it was, but I see it clear as day looking back.

  Just shy of four years after giving birth to our youngest little princess, I began to have a change of heart, but I'd brush those thoughts away.  It's just not logical to have more children.  At least it isn't in most people's minds, and I wouldn't want to offend anyone by birthing yet another baby, would I? ;)  When that desire became a bit stronger, I went to God.  He is the wisest of us all.  He knows our desires, our capabilities, our needs, much more than we know them ourselves.

  This past summer, I studied the Word, sought out wisdom from varying opinions, and prayed like a madwoman.  I do not go into this lightly. This is a big deal.  A really big deal.  After much digging, prayer, and thought, I realized that this is something I want to put into God's hands.  If I'm going to trust Him completely, I need to trust Him with everything, right? I don't see my current children as a burden.  I see them as incredible gifts.  Why should I withhold any other blessings God wants to give Jeff and I?  Why should I live out of fear?  When we live in fear of anything, we are lacking trust.

  When I gave my fears over to the Lord, I decided it was time to discuss it with my husband.  He is a man of few words.  He has to be, he's married to quite the talker.  I wrote him a letter, because I am able to share my heart through writing in a way that my voice can not convey.  I stuck the letter on the bathroom counter before going to bed that night (I have a habit of doing this).  The next morning we talked a bit.  I assumed the conversation would last a lot longer than it did.  I expected some hesitation on Jeff's part, but I believe he saw my heart and my desire to give this up to God, so he was game.

  Our marriage has seen vast improvement since taking this leap of faith in so many ways.  I personally feel that so much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  The cloud of doubt has evaporated and the sun is shining brightly.  We have actually let go of the burden of living in fear of the unknown when it comes to conceiving another child.  We don't have the goal of birthing 19 children and landing a spot on a reality television series.  We're not much for the spotlight, we're rather camera shy, and are 98% sure God doesn't have that many children in mind for us. ;)

  I do have to confess that I became slightly frustrated when a couple months went by without any "news" to share.  I half expected to be "expecting" right away.  I was always very fertile. It happened right away every other time, and once caught us completely off guard.  Why was it different this time? Then the Lord kinda checked my attitude.  I was supposed to give this up to Him. That was my plan at first, I shouldn't forget it.  Baby or no baby, it was His call.  Why was I all of the sudden so gung ho to have another?  Of course, another baby would be a huge blessing.  The children we have are huge blessings.  Either way, Jeff and I have been blessed beyond measure and we will allow God to give or withhold as He sees fit.

  I share all of this, not because I feel I owe it to anyone, and definitely not to talk anyone into doing things our way, but to encourage you to own your values and convictions and not to let others' opinions take those away from you.  I expect a bit of a negative reaction from most people.  I'm hoping for some positivity, but this way of thinking is quite radical to most, so I'll understand if I receive backlash for sharing.

  As I post this, the minutes will go by like hours and the hours like days while I await the texts and calls from concerned loved ones.  That's okay.  It's okay to be concerned.  It is not okay to tell others what the Lord has or has not laid on their hearts.  I am careful, but sometimes fail, in taking this approach with my friends and family.  I don't know their hearts, other than what they've so graciously shared with me.  I don't know what the Lord says to them. So I have no right to interfere.  I need to respect the beliefs of others, just as I sweetly ask them to respect mine. :)

  Stop at one baby, or go for twenty.  The choice is yours and yours alone! Enjoy the family you have and embrace whoever comes along in the future.  I am so happy for this outlook.  I am so happy that this world is a diverse place, full of thoughts and opinions of all kinds.  If our opinions clash, so be it.  I love you just the same.  I pray that the feeling's mutual. :)

Em


 

I'm Not Cut Out for Ministry

  One mistake a lot of Christians seem to make is putting a face on ministry.  We view God's plan as a one size fits all box.  It must look, act, and feel a certain way to be genuine. This leads many to believe they can't measure up and will never be able to do God's work.

  I'm here to say that ministry has MANY faces.  God calls all kinds of people to do all kinds of things for Him.  I struggled with trying to put ministry into a box.  I thought I had to look, act, be a certain way in order to pursue what I felt God was calling me to do.  I am not perfect and I never will be.  God knows that.  He knows that you and I aren't identical and that we don't fit in that one-size fits all mold.

  Ministry doesn't necessarily mean you have to pastor a church or lead worship.  It doesn't even have to happen in a church.  Ministry can be so low key, that many don't know it's happening.

  I believe the Lord has called me to minister in ways that are unconventional.  I'm not currently doing all I will be doing in this lifetime, but I am taking steps and following His voice as I hear it.  Because I am failing on a regular basis, I don't fit that "ideal" many of us have come up with.  I'm not good at being good all the time.  I stumble, I fall.  The key is getting back up and trying again.  I avoided many opportunities to minister because of my faults.  I wasn't seeing myself through God's eyes.  I was seeing myself for my mistakes.  We are not our mistakes.  We are not our faults.  If we have been saved by God's grace, we are God's children, no matter how imperfect we are.

  I have come up with every excuse in the book as to why I can't minister to others.  I'm an introvert, I don't take my own advice, I don't always take the time to dig in to God's Word, I can be quick to anger, I'm too sensitive, I'm irritable, I raise my voice more than I should, I don't like talking in front of groups of people.... the list goes on and on... and on.  And you know what?  I am right!  I am not capable of doing God's work.  Not on my own, at least.  I am weak, I fall prey to the flesh, I am far from perfect.

  The good news is, God IS perfect and He can more than make up for our inadequacies.  I am slowly learning to let Him take the reins.  I am allowing Him to show me strengths I didn't know I had and to use the gifts He has given me.  I'm letting Him take my weaknesses and turn them into something moldable and usable for His will.

  Another issue we have, when pondering ministry is our judgement when it comes to others in ministry.  That pastor said this, that leader did that.  We judge and we nit pick everything those in ministry do.  Newsflash: Pastors, worship leaders, missionaries, elders, evangelists.... they're ALL human.  Not a single one of them is sinless.  Not a single one of them measures up to Jesus.  When we are heck bent on finding faults in leadership, you bet we're going to find it! Find me a perfect preacher... go on!

  This is one of the many reasons a person would battle their call to ministry.  We know that those who are doing the work of God are ripped apart by other "Christians" and even by non-believers, so why would we want our blemishes thrown out there for the world to see? Honestly, this is a huge roadblock in my life.  I've got many people who have knowledge of my countless imperfections, mistakes, and sins. I know a few that may or may not want to share those with others.  I'm sure if it ever gets to that point, they will be known. That scares the living daylights out of me.

  We all want to put on this happy face and pretend we have it all together and that we are completely in sync with God.  I know I'm not.  I know I have plenty of room for growth.  I know my struggles often stick out like a sore thumb.  I also know that I'm going to need God's hand to hold on to when I am exposed.  I'm going to need His strength because I have such a desire to encourage and bless others that when things get in the way of that; when I'm feeling judged, only He will be able to help me put one foot in front of the other. Only He will give me the courage to continue on.

  I don't say all of this to scare you from ministry.  I say this so we can realize that we have one more very large roadblock in our journeys to ministry: We think it should be easy.  Ministry isn't meant to be all sunshine and roses.  We will have opposition.  Satan will throw everything he can at us to make sure we step back and hide in the shadows.  People will disagree with you.  People will find fault in you.  You may come across financial struggle.  You may take an emotional toll.

  God doesn't call us because it's easy.  He calls us because He wants us to be faithful.  Do we care enough about others to sacrifice our comfort?  Do we want to make a difference, even if that means trials may come our way?  Do we want to fulfill that call the Lord has had on us since before we were born, or do we want to throw it all away for the sake of contentment?

  I can be fearful.  I enjoy being comfortable with where I'm at.  I don't want to be in the spotlight, even if it is  a tiny ray of light.  No, I am not cut out for ministry.  But the God who created me begs to differ.  He sees things in me that I don't see.  He knows things about me that I have yet to learn.  I'm not doing this for me.  To do so would be selfish.  I'm doing this for HIM.  So am I going to trust Him?  Am I going to believe that He has my back no matter what comes my way?  Am I going to have faith that He will use me to do great things in His name?  Yes.  I know I will struggle to remain in that "yes," but I am ready to do what He calls me to do.  Are you?

Painting courtesy of my talented Dad, Bill Sanders.

Christmas Doesn't Have to Be Crazy!

  It used to be that when Christmas season came around, my stress levels would sky rocket. I have always loved Christmas, but I soon began to despise the pressure that would come along with this beloved holiday.  There were so many presents to wrap, so many parties to attend, and I felt like I was being swallowed up by lights and ornaments and bows.  

  A couple years ago, it dawned on me: I don't have to do it all to make Christmas special for my kids.  I don't have to buy a million presents.  I don't have to please everyone by attending every holiday open house known to man.  I don't have to decorate so much that I could qualify as a hoarder.  I can pick and choose what is of importance to my family and I.

  When we lose focus on what this season is really all about, we add so much unnecessary stress to our lives.  My goal this Christmas is to keep my focus on what really matters. I will Christmas it up, but when Christmas starts to lose its magic, I will have no problem stepping back and keeping it simple.

~ Jesus is the reason for the Christmas season.  I'll choose to make His birth top priority in our home.  Any time we focus on Him, all else seems trivial.  That doesn't just happen during Christmas.  I need to remind myself to keep Him at the center of my vision all year round. 

  It is so easy to get caught up in Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf and the Grinch and <fill in the blank>.  Those things are so much fun and there is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating that way.  But when Jesus gets lost in the celebration, we have a problem.  I choose to keep Him first, always! 

~ It's love and family and fellowship that is important, not presents.  I used to feel pressured to find gifts for everyone we see on a regular basis.  When our budget couldn't handle my expectations (which happened pretty much every year), I ended up disappointed and somehow felt that I had let my friends and family down.  When I couldn't buy the best of the best for my kids and fill that space under the tree, I loathed the very concept of gift giving in the first place.  

  Once I gave up those expectations and asked God what I could do to make the season bright for my friends and family, I realized that it's not about the presents anyway.  And if it is, maybe I don't need to see those particular people until the Christmas season is over. ;)  

  For our kids, we have decided to limit gifts.  We've done this for a few years now, but sometimes go a bit overboard.  Our goal is to buy one main gift for each child, a family gift, pajamas with snacks and a movie for Christmas Eve, and stocking stuffers.  That is more than enough.  Our kids are happy with whatever they get, and if they choose not to be, I choose not to take on any guilt.  We do what we can and we have decided that our focus needs to be on Jesus and loved ones, not presents. 

~All the hulabaloo can hit the road. The second I become overwhelmed with Christmas, I decide what needs to go.  If I feel like making cookies with the kids to give as gifts, I'll do it.  If that thought is too much for me on a particular day...or season... I will nix it.  It's really quite simple.  Why stress ourselves over things that don't have to be done?  I LOVE Christmas, and more often than not, I DO want to do it all.  But now, when I do it all, I'm doing so because I CHOOSE to, not because I feel like I have to.  See?  If we start making our own rules instead of trying to keep up with what everyone around us is doing, we'll be much happier.  Hang that extra wreath in the hall...or don't.  Go caroling with your family...or don't. Make gifts for all of your neighbors...or don't. Put a Christmas house in every corner of your home...or don't. 

~We focus on our traditions. There are so many fun and exciting traditions out there.  I love hearing all about the activities people embrace this time of year.  Sometimes our family adopts new traditions.  Sometimes we nix some old ones that just don't work for us anymore.  Here are a few traditions we love:

• Cutting down the Christmas tree.  Okay, this is more of a love/hate, but it happens every year.  After Thanksgiving, we'll go to Jeff's Grandma's and choose a tree.  Then, when we get home, Jeff and I struggle to put it up.  He asks if it is straight, while tightening the screws in the stand.  I say, "yes."  He stands back and sees that it is clearly not straight. In fact, it could be downright horizontal.  I shrug my shoulders and make a joke about having crooked eyes. We try again... and sometimes again and again. The smell, the beauty, the nostalgia that comes from that tree makes all of the struggle worth it. 
• Decorating the house.  We've mostly done the interior.  Now that we're in a neighborhood again, I have evil plans of enlisting Jeff to put lights up outside this year.  The kids and I usually decorate inside while Jeff sits back and watches.  He knows that I'm the one in charge of decorations, so he lets me have at it. It is glorious! I like to torture him by playing Amy Grant's "A Christmas Album."  The exact album I listened to as a kid.  If you know my husband, you know that he is far from being the Amy Grant type of fan. I'm a wonderful wife, eh? 
• Looking for Santa.  My kids know Santa is just pretend... or at least two of them do.  We still have fun staring up into the sky on our ride home from my parents' house every Christmas Eve.  Every phone tower, airplane, imaginary light is a potential sighting.  We love it.  I love it.  I used to do this with my parents as a kid.  It was exciting.  Magical.
• Leaving treats for Santa and his reindeer... and Jesus.  Sometimes we make a birthday cake for Jesus, but more often than not, Mommy likes to combine the treats and stick them all on one plate for Santa and Jesus to share.  Because sharing is good. Yes, I know, I'm stretching it. We usually leave cookies and carrots.  Last year we left out donuts... and may have forgotten about Rudolph and his friends.  I can't remember.  The point is, Mommy and Daddy... I mean... Jesus and Santa have a delightful treat to enjoy after the kids go to bed. 
• Listening to the Christmas Story. I want the story of Jesus' birth to be first and foremost Christmas morning.  Before we open presents, Daddy reads straight from the Word of God and we pray together as a family.  Then the kids go crazy and our living room is filled with tiny pieces of pain for our feet to step on, shreds of wrapping paper for mommy to throw away, and lots and lots of cheer. 
• My heart this year is to make someone else's Christmas special.  We haven't done that enough.  My kids need to know the true joy of giving to others.  We haven't always had the finances to help in such a way, but I am determined to make it happen, even if it's just a small gift of hope.  I want to extend kindness and love to a deserving family. I want someone to know that there are people in this world who care about them. 

There is no need to live up to other people's expectations when it comes to Christmas.  Why do we allow ourselves to carry silly little burdens during the most wonderful time of the year?  We don't have to drive ourselves crazy by going overboard.  If going overboard is your thing, go for it! Go all out!! Soak it all in!!  If you want to keep it simple, then do just that.  Be at peace and relax this Holiday Season.  Do whatever feels right to you and your family.  

  I personally have a goal of shoving as much Christmas cheer into this season as possible.  However, I will let go of whatever gets in the way of my budget, our happiness, or my time spent with the ones I cherish most.  

  Tell me about your favorite Christmas traditions.  Do you keep it simple or go all out?  What makes you happy and stress free during the Christmas season?

~Em

Tackling the Day to Day With a Smile

  Choosing joy is a never-ending process.  Choosing joy when you're being pelted with circumstances that cause frustration or sorrow is brutal.  It is impossible for me to maintain a joyous demeanor without having God hold my hand and talk me through it.
  Honestly, even little things like seeing that pile of laundry I need to put away, or stepping on one of the kids' toys for the hundredth time can cause my face to snap into a scowl faster than a speeding bullet.  There are days I'd like to forget, days I'd like to start over, days that drag on forever... these are the days in which joy is extremely important.

  I don't always choose joy.  In fact, I choose to wallow in my misery more often than I'd like to admit.  The fact that I can admit this is a huge step in moving forward to more joyous days ahead.  When we can admit we have a problem and when we choose to tackle that problem, God can do miraculous things to our hearts. Prayer and repentance are powerful! 

There are other practical ways you can lessen your stress in the day to day.  Here are some I've grabbed hold of and I have found to be very helpful in my journey to enjoying even the most mundane of days:

1. Allow your kids to help.  This was hard for me. I wanted things done my way, and let's face it: a child who is learning new skills isn't going to get it just right.  I had to train myself to let go of my desire for perfection all while training my children how to tackle different chores around the house.  It can be done.  Your house might not belong on the cover of a magazine, but jobs will get done and you won't have to accomplish the impossible to make that happen.  You'll have more time to play with and enjoy your kids if you just let them help you.

2. Do a little bit of everything every day.  I used to have "laundry days."  That was the biggest struggle for me.  I would dread laundry day.  It would take up so much of my time and I felt like I couldn't enjoy myself while sorting, washing, drying, folding, and putting clothes away all day.  So I do a load or two every day. Problem solved.  Laundry gets done quickly, and I don't have a heaping pile of stinky mess to deal with.  Of course, I backslide in this sometimes, so if you show up to my house one day and see piles of folded laundry on my couch, don't say I didn't warn you! As long as I keep a steady flow of work going each day, things don't get so overwhelming.  

3. Start your day in prayer.  I notice that when I start my day in prayer and time spent with the Lord, my days run much, much smoother. If I'm having a particularly bad day, I think back to what I have done.  That key ingredient is usually missing.  Now, I'm not saying that your days will be perfect every time you start your day in prayer, but I am saying that you will open your heart to hear the Lord's prompting when situations arise where you need to make a choice about how you'll react.  Our reactions definitely determine the direction of our day. 

4. Take a long, hard look at the choices you are making.  Are the kids in your hair?  Do you look around to see that a tornado has hit your living room?  When things start getting a bit crazy, determine the cause and find a solution.  Typically if my kids are going bonkers, that means I've spent a little too much time chatting with friends on Facebook, and not enough time being Mom.  Or maybe I've put too much effort into cleaning house and not enough time face to face, showing my children how much I love them.  It's hard to admit when you've checked out, and I understand that some days that is totally necessary for a short period of time.  If it is happening too frequently, or for long periods of time, your day can turn sour. I know. Been there, done that.  

How have you learned to bring a smile to your face while tackling the issues of every day life?  I'm always ready to open my heart to new ways of embracing joy in the day to day.

~Em

7 Ways We Stretch Our Money

  These days, it's tough to make ends meet for many families.  Everything costs money and almost nothing is cheap.  Many people are living paycheck to paycheck.  Instead of waiting things out and hoping the world will hand us money on a silver platter, I decided to get creative with our finances.  I opened my mind to things I would have never considered and I haven't looked back yet.
  There are many ways my hubby and I stretch our money to make our life more comfortable, fulfilling, and to set our minds at ease.  Here are 7 of them:

1. Ditch Cable~ With great, cheap services like Netflix and Hulu, one doesn't need to spend $100/month on channels they don't even use.  When we moved into our new house 5 months ago, Jeff and I agreed to ditch cable and try out Netflix as our main source of tv and movie viewing. We're still going strong! We also purchased a digital antenna for around $24 that brings in a few basic channels like ABC and Fox for no monthly payment. Between those two things, full episodes of current shows online, and $1(ish) rentals from our local grocery store, we are pretty set with cheap entertainment.

2. Meal Plan~ I notice that when I meal plan, we stick to a budget. Real simple concept.  At first, I was overwhelmed with trying to come up with meals and snacks one to two weeks at a time.  When I got the hang of it, I realized it was much better than that overwhelming feeling of winging it at the grocery store, and not knowing how much I was going to spend at checkout.  There are numerous sources online that list out entire plans a week at a time if you don't want to think at all.  Many even have a grocery list to print off before you head out.  One of my favorites is GroceryBudget101.com. (click on link to go to the site)  I use this plan often and tweak it as I see fit.  Another great place to check out cheap, easy, and healthy meals is Pinterest.  Be careful, though, as many recipes are quite fancy and require lots of ingredients, so you could very well break your budget!

3. Thrift/Consignment Shop/Garage Sale~ I used to get that "ick" factor when thinking of shopping at thrift shops.  I went to a couple reputable consignment shops now and then, and would stop at clean garage sales, where I could see the source I was purchasing from, but places like Goodwill and the Salvation Army were off limits.  I let go of that high and mighty way of thinking and decided that the "ick" factor could be eliminated with a good washing or two.  Yes, there are these really handy appliances called washers and dryers that do wonders to clothes!  Now that I enjoy thrift shopping, I have a hard time even seeing the prices at Walmart! I've become that thrifty (or cheap, whatever you want to call it).  For instance, two of our children needed new winter boots this year.  I price checked at Walmart while we were picking up some groceries. About $25 for a pair of boots.  I decided to look at our local Goodwill and if I didn't find anything, I'd go back to Walmart and pick some up.  Jeff and I had recently dropped off a donation to Goodwill, so we had a 20% off coupon.  We ended up finding the boots we needed in the exact sizes and colors that worked for our kids for $11 total.  TWO pair of boots in good condition for $11?  I'll take that any day! It may take a bit more searching to find the things you want when shopping used, but your wallet will thank you for it.  I find great satisfaction in finding a good deal.  Welcoming hand-me-downs and gifts is free... I've let go of my pride and allowed others to bless us in that way as well.  I make sure to always pay it forward in some way, so as to be a blessing to others, too!

4.  DIY (do it/make it yourself)~ You can make anything these days, and you can use natural ingredients to avoid harsh chemicals as well!  Cleaning products, bath & body, cosmetics, clothing, knick knacks and other decor, quilts, toys, storage containers, the possibilities are endless!  I frequent Pinterest for new ideas and tips.  One of my newer and most exciting diy finds was from my wonderful sister-in-law and her friend: Homemade Liquid Laundry soap.  I love it! It works great and lasts forever! And it saves you a TON of money! Who wouldn't want to give it a try? You can find their recipe on their website: Real Moms, Real Messy, Blessed and Highly Favored. *Update* I now use a new recipe because our water is so hard that our clothes started looking dingy.  This new one has worked so well and I noticed a difference after the first wash!  If you'd like the recipe, email me and I'll send it to you. :) I am also a big fan of the Norwex microfiber cloths for the bulk of my cleaning. It saves me a lot on paper towels and cleaners and I am able to avoid harsh chemicals.  It's really a win-win! Check my Pinterest boards often to find great diy ideas.

5.  Cut up that Credit Card!~ Jeff and I haven't used a credit card in years... and I don't miss it one bit.  A good, wise motto to embrace is "If you don't have the money, don't buy it."  I'm not a fan of paying interest to a company that has no concern for my family's financial well-being.  I don't like debt, interest, or really anything to do with credit cards.  The thought of getting myself into debt makes my skin crawl.  If I have a card, you bet I'm going to forget my willpower and use & abuse it.  So, no credit cards in this house.  We don't need that kind of temptation. If you use credit cards, this is not a slam against your choice, this is just what we have chosen for ourselves. :)

6.  Drive a Car without a Payment~ This kind of goes along with the credit card concept.  I hated having car payments.  It was one more worry to add to the list, and one more bill to pay each month.  We now share a vehicle, which can be tricky at times, but I'd much rather save up and pay for a second car in full than to rush out and sign up for a lovely monthly payment with that dirty "i" word (interest).  I'm fine with driving a car that's not brand new... or fairly new.  As long as it runs and isn't hideous, I'm game!  Eliminating our car payments has eliminated stress and has given us a bit more freedom financially.  Totally worth it!

7. Turn Your Home into a Fun Place to Hang~ Purchase board games, movies (utilize Netflix), decorate in a way that's pleasing to the eye, buy comfortable furniture, de-clutter.... do whatever it takes to make your home a place you'd like to be.  If you have room for guests, have friends over once a week for games and appetizers.
  Exchanging your movie tickets for a rental at home saves big bucks.  You pay less for a box of microwave popcorn and a two-liter of Coke than you do for a tub of popcorn at the theater.
  Try new recipes and set the table with cloth napkins and your finest china to get the restaurant vibe going in your kitchen.  Don't have china? Grab some cute paper plates at the dollar store or use whatever dishes you have.  Use what you have and what you can afford to make your dinners at home fun and exciting.
  Embrace your family and learn to enjoy being with them.  If we focus on our family and loving the home we're in, we won't focus so much on what we're missing out on outside the home. Learn a new instrument or develop a new hobby with your spouse or children.  Find things to do that bring the family together and provide entertainment.  If you get creative, staying home won't feel like such a bummer.  You'll actually enjoy your time and won't miss going out all the time.  This will save you big bucks!

  While Jeff and I are forever learning how to be responsible with our finances, we have come so far and have rid ourselves of a lot of unnecessary stresses by following these guidelines.  We have a long way to go, but I find comfort in knowing we are on the right track.

  What tips could you share that will help us stretch our money?  I'd love to hear them!

~Em

We Have Much To Be Thankful For

  In this country, with all of its excess, it's easy to look at the things we don't have.  We want more.  We want bigger, better, fancier things.  It's hard to be content when we're looking at everything everyone else has.
  My husband, children, and I live quite a modest life in comparison to many of the people we know.  We share a vehicle that sits in a driveway, rather than a garage. Our kids share rooms. We mostly shop at consignment and thrift stores, and we welcome hand-me-downs with minimal objection.  We eat at home more often than not.  We limit our outings, even just to visit friends, so as to preserve our gas.
  I used to see all that my friends were doing, buying, enjoying, and a part of me would turn green with envy.  I didn't like that I couldn't give my kids all the experiences I had as a child, or all of the newest, coolest toys on the market.  I didn't like that I had to make due with the clothes I had because we didn't have the money for weekly shopping sprees.
  I was sad.  I was heartbroken and I felt I wasn't giving my kids enough.  My outlook hurt my husband, who works his rear end off to provide for us.  Because I felt we didn't have enough, he felt that he wasn't good enough.  Ouch.
  The Lord did a number on my heart.  He showed me everything we DO have, and I am so grateful for the flip of that switch.  I have a husband who is faithful and loves me through thick and thin. I have four beautiful children who find joy in the smallest of things.  I have a house that is truly a home, no matter its size, location, or lack of bells and whistles.  I have the privilege of staying home and homeschooling my children. I have parents, in-laws, siblings, and friends who love me and support me and my family.  There is always food on the table. I receive grace and love from Jesus. My family's needs are always met one way or another.
  We have everything we need, and enough of what we want.  We are blessed!!!  I still struggle with the wants of this world sometimes.  I'm human.  Now it's easier to switch gears and remember all that I have instead of all that I want.  When I focus on that, life becomes happier; more peaceful.  I am content, no... I am satisfied.

My Family, Fall 2011. 

  Are you struggling with your desire to accumulate more?  Do you wish you could have a better life?  I want to encourage you to turn your focus from the things you don't have to the things you have, the things that bless you.  Turn your eyes to Jesus and His Word.  Allow Him to show you the blessings He's given you.  Here are a few verses I turn to when I need a reminder of my blessings.  I hope they speak to you and bring you comfort and peace.

Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Matthew 6:33

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Philippians 4:6-8

 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

*All verses come from the New King James Version

  

I pray you will be blessed and be thankful in all seasons.

~Em

He is My All in All

  I've been feeling really discouraged about some things over the past few days. Really discouraged.  I've been sensing that life is actively trying to beat me down.  Things were going a little too well and Satan was getting uncomfortable.  I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
  So tonight, I was thumbing through a Bible my dad had given me when I was thirteen.  I recently passed it along to my oldest son (11), but we keep it by our school books for family devotions.  I loved this Bible. Still do.  There are encouraging words and tidbits throughout the pages to help young minds understand Scriptures.  I have many handwritten notes in the margins.
  I was looking for a word or two of encouragement and I came across a passage I had underlined years ago:

"Even though the fig trees are all destroyed, and there is neither blossom left nor fruit; though the olive crops all fail, and the fields lie barren; even if the flocks die in the fields and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will be happy in the God of my salvation.  The Lord God is my strength; he will give me the speed of a deer and bring me safely over the mountains." 

~ Habakkuk 3:17-19 (TLB)  

Bingo! Then, to add some more goodness onto this encouraging word, I noticed a blue star next to the last verse.  I looked over to the following page and saw some lyrics written in the same blue ink:

"You are my strength when I am weak

You are the treasure that I seek

You are my all in all"  

 This was taken from the worship song "You Are My All in All" by Dennis Jernigan.  I remember singing it many times as a teen and young adult.  I haven't heard it in a while.  Reading those blue words on that page did something to me.  It brought me the comfort I longed for.  He IS my strength when I am weak. 

  Finally, I noticed a bit more of my teenage chicken scratch on the page.  I wrote my thoughts on the verses I had read; what I got out of them. "God will always be here for us, through thick and thin.  He will stick by our side."  Back then, I sort of understood things, or at least I tried, but I'm sure I had no clue of the impact those words would have on me in the future.  I truly believe the Lord used that moment and my naive hands to pen those words for this very night. God knew that I'd be hurting, worried, and worn down tonight.  He knew I would need to be uplifted, even in the smallest of ways.  He knew those words would touch my soul better than anything else and I am blown away!  

My Bible from my teenage years. :)

  God sees our pain: past, present, and future.  He feels for us and He wants to comfort us in ways that truly reach our souls.  He knows what we need.  He may not meet those needs in our timing, but He will meet those needs in His...perfect...timing.  He has given me not only encouragement and comfort tonight, but peace, hope, and joy.  The words I shared might mean absolutely nothing to you, but they spoke volumes to me.  The ways He reaches out to you might not relate to me, but they were tailored to fit you!  Isn't it amazing that He cares enough to speak to us in ways that we will hear and understand? Isn't it wonderful that He knows our hearts and just what we need when we need it?

  If you're struggling tonight, I encourage you to reach out to Him.  Pray, open your Bible, worship.... do whatever you need to do to connect with your Father and allow Him to speak to you in your special language.  I pray that you'll be encouraged and that you will use that encouragement to reach out to others who are hurting as well.  Share the love and light that is Jesus.  Use your experiences to be a beacon of hope for the hurting.  Blessings!

~Em

   

Silence is Golden

  I love my children.  I love being home with them every day.  I enjoy our morning routine of breakfast, chores, family devotions, and school lessons.  Our mornings are far from perfect, but they are ours. I cherish the time I have with the kids and I pray that these moments will provide fond memories for them when they are grown.
  However, by the time lunch rolls around, I'm usually ready to throw in the towel.  While child-rearing has its blessings and rewards, it can also drain you down to a pile of mush. We parents put our all into our children.  We sing, laugh, and play with them.  We teach and learn from them.  We kiss boo boos and break up fights.  It can take a toll on even the strongest of minds.
  Enter: Quiet Time! Ahhh.... I rather enjoy a few minutes of time alone.  Cuddles and conversations are welcomed activities, but a momma can use a little R&R in her day.  My quiet time usually involves a good, long stare at a wall or a quick (sometimes not so quick) skimming of my Facebook newsfeed. Other times I'll read or journal.  Sleeping is fun, too! Guess what I'm doing during quiet time today? ;)
  Here are our Quiet Time requirements for the kids:  Since all of my children have outgrown their naps, we separate into our own little corners of the house after lunch.
  My 4 and 6 year olds must be in their bedrooms.  They can play quietly (alone) if they'd like, but they must stay put until quiet time is over.  If they fall asleep while reading, that is a bonus! Judging from the silence I hear right now, they are both in la la land. Oh, sweet icing on top of a delicious peaceful cake.
  My 9 and 11 year olds must park it on a couch or sit at the table and do quiet activities like reading, unfinished schoolwork, age appropriate computer games, or drawing.... alone! They are more than welcome to sleep if they'd like, but that is a rare occurrence.
  There is no talking during quiet time.  Silence is golden, remember? ;)  It does a person good to be alone for a bit.  It gives us time to wind down and recharge for some more fun and chaos.
  Our quiet time lasts 1 hour minimum.  After one hour, the older kids are ready to hang out.  Sometimes the littles fall asleep, so we continue keeping the noise down until everyone is awake. (90 minutes strong and still going today! I'll take it!)
  There is resistance from my littles most days.  They "need" to come out of their rooms to go potty twenty times, or to ask when quiet time will be over.  Since I'm such a stickler for time alone, I give them a reminder that they must stay in their rooms. If they come out a second time, other than for a legit potty break, I extend their quiet time.  This has proven to work really well, especially for my youngest, because she is little miss social.  If there is threat to spend time alone longer than necessary, she pipes down and serves her time quietly.
  When quiet time is over, we get back to being social and we're able to do that with much more ease than if we were to throw out quiet time altogether.  I definitely notice when we've skipped over our quiet time. Cranky kids, cranky Mom, cat fights, and meltdowns abound.  No fun! Quiet time for all, I say!

  Do you require quiet/nap times in your home?  How does that work for you?  What advantages do you find in having some time to yourself during the day?  Please share! :)