I'm Not Cut Out for Ministry

  One mistake a lot of Christians seem to make is putting a face on ministry.  We view God's plan as a one size fits all box.  It must look, act, and feel a certain way to be genuine. This leads many to believe they can't measure up and will never be able to do God's work.

  I'm here to say that ministry has MANY faces.  God calls all kinds of people to do all kinds of things for Him.  I struggled with trying to put ministry into a box.  I thought I had to look, act, be a certain way in order to pursue what I felt God was calling me to do.  I am not perfect and I never will be.  God knows that.  He knows that you and I aren't identical and that we don't fit in that one-size fits all mold.

  Ministry doesn't necessarily mean you have to pastor a church or lead worship.  It doesn't even have to happen in a church.  Ministry can be so low key, that many don't know it's happening.

  I believe the Lord has called me to minister in ways that are unconventional.  I'm not currently doing all I will be doing in this lifetime, but I am taking steps and following His voice as I hear it.  Because I am failing on a regular basis, I don't fit that "ideal" many of us have come up with.  I'm not good at being good all the time.  I stumble, I fall.  The key is getting back up and trying again.  I avoided many opportunities to minister because of my faults.  I wasn't seeing myself through God's eyes.  I was seeing myself for my mistakes.  We are not our mistakes.  We are not our faults.  If we have been saved by God's grace, we are God's children, no matter how imperfect we are.

  I have come up with every excuse in the book as to why I can't minister to others.  I'm an introvert, I don't take my own advice, I don't always take the time to dig in to God's Word, I can be quick to anger, I'm too sensitive, I'm irritable, I raise my voice more than I should, I don't like talking in front of groups of people.... the list goes on and on... and on.  And you know what?  I am right!  I am not capable of doing God's work.  Not on my own, at least.  I am weak, I fall prey to the flesh, I am far from perfect.

  The good news is, God IS perfect and He can more than make up for our inadequacies.  I am slowly learning to let Him take the reins.  I am allowing Him to show me strengths I didn't know I had and to use the gifts He has given me.  I'm letting Him take my weaknesses and turn them into something moldable and usable for His will.

  Another issue we have, when pondering ministry is our judgement when it comes to others in ministry.  That pastor said this, that leader did that.  We judge and we nit pick everything those in ministry do.  Newsflash: Pastors, worship leaders, missionaries, elders, evangelists.... they're ALL human.  Not a single one of them is sinless.  Not a single one of them measures up to Jesus.  When we are heck bent on finding faults in leadership, you bet we're going to find it! Find me a perfect preacher... go on!

  This is one of the many reasons a person would battle their call to ministry.  We know that those who are doing the work of God are ripped apart by other "Christians" and even by non-believers, so why would we want our blemishes thrown out there for the world to see? Honestly, this is a huge roadblock in my life.  I've got many people who have knowledge of my countless imperfections, mistakes, and sins. I know a few that may or may not want to share those with others.  I'm sure if it ever gets to that point, they will be known. That scares the living daylights out of me.

  We all want to put on this happy face and pretend we have it all together and that we are completely in sync with God.  I know I'm not.  I know I have plenty of room for growth.  I know my struggles often stick out like a sore thumb.  I also know that I'm going to need God's hand to hold on to when I am exposed.  I'm going to need His strength because I have such a desire to encourage and bless others that when things get in the way of that; when I'm feeling judged, only He will be able to help me put one foot in front of the other. Only He will give me the courage to continue on.

  I don't say all of this to scare you from ministry.  I say this so we can realize that we have one more very large roadblock in our journeys to ministry: We think it should be easy.  Ministry isn't meant to be all sunshine and roses.  We will have opposition.  Satan will throw everything he can at us to make sure we step back and hide in the shadows.  People will disagree with you.  People will find fault in you.  You may come across financial struggle.  You may take an emotional toll.

  God doesn't call us because it's easy.  He calls us because He wants us to be faithful.  Do we care enough about others to sacrifice our comfort?  Do we want to make a difference, even if that means trials may come our way?  Do we want to fulfill that call the Lord has had on us since before we were born, or do we want to throw it all away for the sake of contentment?

  I can be fearful.  I enjoy being comfortable with where I'm at.  I don't want to be in the spotlight, even if it is  a tiny ray of light.  No, I am not cut out for ministry.  But the God who created me begs to differ.  He sees things in me that I don't see.  He knows things about me that I have yet to learn.  I'm not doing this for me.  To do so would be selfish.  I'm doing this for HIM.  So am I going to trust Him?  Am I going to believe that He has my back no matter what comes my way?  Am I going to have faith that He will use me to do great things in His name?  Yes.  I know I will struggle to remain in that "yes," but I am ready to do what He calls me to do.  Are you?

Painting courtesy of my talented Dad, Bill Sanders.