Fill the Void

  Every person is extremely complex.  Some may seem shallow, some may seem simple on the outside, but there is so much we can't see.  We are so complicated, that we can't possibly know even ourselves completely.  We don't know what choices we'll make tomorrow.  We don't know how strong we are until we go through something challenging.  We often don't know about the little details that add up to who we have become.

    As much as I love my husband, and as close as we are, I do not know him completely.  He doesn't know me completely.  We can't hear each other's thoughts.  We haven't been in each other's lives since conception.  We can't be together 100% of the time.  Jeff knows me more than any other person in my life, but he doesn't know me like God knows me.  Any time I take my trust in God and put it on Jeff's shoulders, I am let down.  It's not because Jeff is incapable of taking care of me.  It's not because he doesn't try.  It's because he's human.  It's because he didn't create me.  It's because he can't possibly know everything I need.  I often don't know what I need, so to put the pressure on another person is just setting us both up for disaster.

  We all have people we lean on.  That's important.  It's comforting.  But to put all of our love and trust and dependency on another person is dangerous.  We'll end up hurt and disappointed.  We'll resent that person for not meeting our needs in the way they need to be met.  They'll resent us for putting pressure like that on them.  None of us truly wants to be put up on a pedestal, because we know that at one point or another, we are going to fail the person that regards us so highly.

  I often struggle with giving my kids over to God.  I'd like to think I know best.  I like to be in control of what happens with them, to them, for them.  Every time I try to take control, I let myself down.  I let my kids down.  I know my kids so well.  I'm with them 24/7.  I've changed their diapers, soothed their cries, bandaged their scrapes, listened to their stories, cuddled them back to health when they were sick, and smothered them in kisses.  Yet, in all that love, care, and companionship, I do not know them like God knows them.  I often don't hear what they are really saying.  I sometimes struggle to understand them.  God doesn't.  He knows all of their thoughts, dreams, hurts, joys.  He knows what they need when they need it.

  As much as we mothers want recognition for all of our hard work, as much as we deserve a pat on the back, we can't be everything to our children.  Our spouses, parents, pastors, and friends can't be everything to us.  We're not capable of being the ultimate Comforter to our loved ones and they aren't capable of doing so for us.  It is so easy to run to a loved one in times of trouble.  It is so easy to fill a prescription or listen to a song or read that book to bandage up the hurt.  But that's all those things are.  Bandages.  They don't fix our problems.  They don't heal our wounds... they just cover them.

  It's easy to think that all we need is a night out or a coffee date with a good friend.  It's easy to run to our parents (even in adulthood) every time we need a pick-me-up or words of advice. Our need to be loved, comforted, embraced is real.  There's nothing wrong with this need.  In fact, God finds delight in loving, comforting, and embracing us.  That's what He's here for.  He loves us so much and wants only good for us.  He wants us to understand that people are good for us.  The good things He's blessed us with are great.  But nothing satisfies our thirst for being understood, our thirst for love, our thirst for filling our voids like Jesus.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

  I admit, I've tried to fill the void with almost everything but Jesus at times.  When I do that, depression sets in ~ because those things, while wonderful, don't quite do the trick.  We'll end up reaching and grabbing at anything that comes our way to get what we need only to end up empty handed in the end. True joy, true peace only comes from Jesus.  It comes from a true, solid relationship with Him.  It comes from a complete dependency upon Him.  The great news is, when we forget this, He's always right there waiting for us, ready to fill that void and refresh our spirits.  He will never leave us, nor forsake us... even when we forget to acknowledge Him.  God is our true Father, Friend, and Comforter.  Put all of your trust in Him and He will not disappoint.

~Em