Thank God for God

  Sometimes the pressure to be the "perfect Christian" is unbearable.  So many people have set ridiculously high religious standards and we are told to meet those expectations joyfully and without fail.  It's frustrating.  It makes me angry.  It turns many people off to having a relationship with Jesus because it turns the relationship into work and rules and condemnation.

  I am a Christian.  I am not "religious."  I am saved by God's grace and I don't pretend that I have earned a smidgen of it.

  Jeff and I haven't gone to church regularly (according to typical standards) in years.  It's not that we don't like church. Quite the contrary.  It's just that sometimes we're lazy. How's that for truth? ;)  Sometimes we are in between churches.  Perhaps we haven't found the right one.  Regardless, I don't believe this takes from our status as lovers of Jesus.

  I have the occasional glass or two of wine and have had to learn my limits.  I have tattoos.  Sometimes I listen to metal. *gasp!!!*   I've been known to lose my cool.  Sometimes I swear in the moment and feel immediate guilt, not because God smacks me upside the head, but because I know if certain people heard me say such an un-Christian-like word, I'd never hear the end of it.

  While my marriage has improved by leaps and bounds since my husband and I first wed, it isn't perfect.  Honestly, the majority of the problems we've encountered have been my fault.  I lose patience sometimes and yell at Jeff and the kids when I should be understanding and gentle with my words.

 Sometimes I seek advice from a friend instead of praying first.  Sometimes I don't like life.  I struggle with jealousy.  I often eat my emotions.... sometimes I scream my emotions.... sometimes I cry for no reason at all.  Sometimes I give legitimately bad advice.  I change my mind about certain issues a lot... issues that are often black and white on the religious side of the "Christian" world.

  I struggle with forgiveness.  I've often pretended to forgive while holding on to the anger and poisoning myself with bitterness and resentment.  I'm a glutton for punishment.  I hold on to friendships that can be toxic, for the sake of the other person.  I struggle with the desire to keep everyone happy.... when the only approval I need is God's.  I'm rebellious at times and super obedient at others.

  All too recently, I went downhill into depression for two years straight... Christians aren't supposed to struggle with depression.  I hated myself.  Christians aren't supposed to hate themselves.  We're made in God's image.  We are a new creation.  It hurts God's feelings when we dislike who He loves.

  I am sure I am not alone in my struggle to meet the demands the typical Christian society puts on us.  I don't hate Christians.  Like I said, I am one.  What I hate is the ideals we place in front of real, hurting, struggling, imperfect people.  "Here... this is what Christian life should be.  Do this, don't do that.  If you do this, you will be shunned by our people and will be forced to crawl back to the pagans and hell-bound sinners you once ran with."

  This isn't what Jesus wants.  Jesus loves on people.  He loved on the unlovable while He walked the earth, and He still loves you and I at our best and our worst times.  Do you know what makes me proud to be a Christian?  Other Christians who show the true love of God.  The gracious, merciful, undying love of God.  The kind that doesn't hold ridiculous ideals over people's heads.  The kind that gives second chances and the kind that keeps knocking on the doors of unlovable hearts.  I don't always extend this kind of love, but my ultimate goal is to spread God's message of hope and salvation.  I would hate to come across someone who is afraid of accepting Jesus because they know they aren't perfect.... without showing them that it is okay to let Him in.  He loves you regardless of your mistakes.  He loves you even when the high and mighty, all-knowing, perfect in every way Christians reject you.

  Jesus loves you.  He loves me.  He loves the woman who aborted her baby.  He loves homosexuals.  He loves drug addicts and prostitutes and even the hoity-toity church-going hypocrites.  He loves us despite our sins or our taboo choices and lifestyles.  He loves us and wants to free us of our struggles and our addictions and our shortcomings.  He wants to make us better.  He wants us to want better for ourselves, but he loves us just the same when we struggle over and over and over again.  His love for us never changes.

  Shut out any voice that tells you you aren't worth it.  Shut out any voice that tells you you have no right to accept His love.  Shut out any voice that tells you you should give up in your quest to help others because you have major sins on your back.

  Keep pressing on.  Keep striving to know God intimately.  Find those people who will love on you and show you the TRUE heart of Jesus, without all the condemnation, and mental beatings.  We can change.  It is possible, but we shouldn't change because others tell us to.  We should grow because we're seeking fellowship with God and because we want to be pleasing to Him.  We can hate sin.  We can hate the things that hold us back from being who we want to be in God.  What we can't hate are the people who sin.  We can't hate those who struggle.  We can't hate hypocrites.  We shouldn't hate ourselves.

   To my fellow believers,  please speak in love, not in condemnation.  Please hug a sinner instead of looking down your nose at them.  Please pray for others instead of pointing out their weaknesses.  This is just as much for me as it is for anybody.  We need to show LOVE in these trying times instead of bickering and hating on each other.  We need to set aside our differences and love each other the way God loves us.  I'm not asking you to accept sins and act like they're all good.  I'm asking that in spite of those sins, you extend kindness, gentleness, goodness, and love.

  When other Christians mess up, we shouldn't nag them about their pitfalls.  We know when we've sinned.  We don't need to have those mistakes put on blast.  We need love and forgiveness.  Every single person on the planet needs love and forgiveness.  Thank God for God... because oh, how we've failed each other.

Photo by: My lovely daughter, Kayleigh