Life, Family, the Heart of Me: Derp! Duh! *Facepalm*

~Our Family~

~Our Family~

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Derp! Duh! *Facepalm*

    You know those "DING! light bulb!" moments?  The ones where it ALL becomes so clear that you most definitely need to make a change in one or more areas of your life?  Well, I had one of those moments last night... a really big one.  Won't you take a little stroll with me as I share my mind happenings with you?

*Okay, I realize reading and strolling might not be a good idea... grab a coffee and a seat instead.  Or water. Or tea. Or juice.  I'm not picky.  Actually, I am at this hour ... but hey, drink whatever you want.  I'm having coffee. ;)

    So I try to be encouraging to others.... positive for them as they tackle the hard things in life.  I realized just how opposite I tend to be when it comes to my thoughts and outlook on my own life.  What a hypocrite, eh? lol  I kid, sort of.  Anyway.... I need to make a huge change in my thoughts and my attitude.  For the sake of my husband's nerves, for the sake of my children's developing brains, and for the sake of my sanity.

    You know those sayings, "don't sweat the small stuff" and "no use crying over spilled milk"?  Yeah.  I've totally been rebelling against that advice for who-knows-how-long.  It's quite ridiculous, actually.  I know I'm full of hormones, what with nursing a baby and being in my 30's (seriously... it takes so much longer to rid yourself of pregnancy brain when you're in your 30's vs. your 20's.  I know this because I've had babies in both  ?!decades?!  and I bounced back much faster with my first four kids... minus some hiccups along the way after Ella was born).  But hormones are not excuse enough for one's outlook on life and attitude toward pretty much everything known to man.

    To give you an example of what my strong, committed husband goes through, let me talk about my night time Facebook newsfeed adventures.  I scroll along merrily, come across some political or parental rights or other similar controversial post/article/rant, and I have to share every thought and feeling that comes to mind, with Jeff, who worked all day in the hot sun and just wants to watch tv and drink a cold one in peace and quiet for a few stinkin' minutes.  But Nooooooo.  That won't do.  I am full of womanly rage at all these happenings that go against every fiber of my being.  He needs to hear me out, and he must not desire for me to simmer down, because loud noises might just escape my mouth.... louder noises than the disgust that is already spewing all over the ears of the poor, innocent man who chose to spend the rest of his life with me.

    Aren't you super glad you don't live here?  You are blessed, I tell ya.  Blessed by the Good Lord above.  

    Another outstanding example for ya.... I am a disorganized perfectionist.  It is a hard burden to carry, but I suppose someone has to do it.  Now, what this means is that I need everything to be neat and orderly to function.... but when I can't function properly, things become... not-so-tidy ..... so my mind explodes!  Top that off with four mobile children who are sweet, but messy little boogers and one child who has got to be eating every last bit of my energy every 2-3 hours, and you have a recipe for disaster.

     Now, here's an example of such an instance...

Me: I think I shall relax now.  Nurse my sweet little Wesson, scroll through Facebook on my phone (RED FLAG>>>see above), maybe watch a little Storage Wars on Netflix... enjoy these few moments of rest while I can.  *looks around* (BAD IDEA!)

House: "Muwahahahahaha!" (you get that this is an evil laugh, right?)  
"See the filth with your eyes, tired mother.  See these toys over here.... they're ready for your sensitive feet to step on.  See those nasty, food-caked dishes just staring you down in the sink over there?  They want to EAT YOUR SOUL.  Look at all those tiny papers cut into nice little pieces of confetti... scattered throughout the house just enough to make your skin crawl.  Sink further into the couch now.... those worn out springs are going to swallow you whole.  You will never escape!  Your bedroom you've been meaning to organize?  Those clothes you meant to put away last week?  Not going ANYWHERE.  They are taunting you..... they enjoy poking at your last nerve.... knowing that you've got more important things to do like feed the baby and teach those children.  I'm going to steal every last bit of joy from you.  You will never win!!! Muwahahahahahahahaha! Haha! Ha! HA!"

Me: Where are the matches?  I want to burn it all and start over! (obviously I don't want to burn my husband or my precious children.  I love them.  LOVE LOVE LOVE my babes.  But all of our belongings?  Sure! Torch 'em!)  Okay, don't torch the stuff.  We'll donate it, for crying out loud.

    So much negativity bombarding my brain throughout the day... all day, every day.  I may relax physically while sitting down to nurse my little love, or when I go to sleep at night, but my mind never seems to settle.

    Well, I've had enough.  I'm sick of the negativity.  I'm sick of sweating the small stuff.  I'm sick of the messes, but I am determined to put a positive spin on everything I possibly can, so that I can be that joyful, cheerful, bubbly person I used to be.... I want to be my true self.... not the 'self' that the burdens of this world have enabled me to become.

    Do you ever struggle with any of this, my sweet mama friends?  The good news is that you're not alone in this.  The FANTASTIC news is that we're not going to enable each other anymore, kapish?  Let's lift each other up in these times of stress, weariness, and chaos.  Let's help each other see the light... the positive in everything, so that living life is a bit easier.  We want to breathe, and smile... genuine, beaming, beautiful smiles, don't we?  :)

    So let's take our negativity to God.  Hand it over in exchange for that positive outlook we so desperately need.  Embrace the new, sunshiney 'tude and kick that Debbie Downer Dumpy Doo Doo crapitude to the curb.  If you're feeling overwhelmed with life... turn to those friends you know who will bring some sparkle to your eyes and who will encourage you to think happy thoughts.  Avoid those friends who will bring you down.  Sorry gals, I love ya... so stinkin' much, but this mama has GOT to get her stuff together... and the "wah wah wahs" and "boo hoo hoos" have got to GO!

    I want to hear from YOU!  What do you do to combat negative thoughts?  How do you maintain a positive outlook on life?  Do you turn to the Lord in ALL things?  Prayer and reading of the Word?  Do you have that one friend who will always bring a smile to your face?  Is there an encouraging blog you like to read to ground your feet and lift your spirits?  I want to hear about it all!  I'm all about the JOY and HAPPINESS tips you bring to the table.  Let's encourage each other and get ourselves out of the dumps.


    Have a POSITIVELY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY AMAZING SUPER FANTABULOUS day, friends! (How's that for some positivity? See... I'm moving in the right direction!)

~Em

 *Little side note edit: As I was typing out my thoughts, I remembered quite a few times where this revelation smacked me upside the head.  Isn't it funny how we often learn the same lessons over and over and over again?  Jesus has His work cut out for Him.... yet He loves us so much that He is willing to put His wisdom on repeat.... so we can find that true joy in Him.  LOVE the things the Lord speaks to me!  

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