When They Grow Up...

  When you ask a young child what they'd like to be when they grow up, more often than not they'll say something like, "a dinosaur" or "a princess."  We parents find it to be comical and absolutely adorable,  but sometimes we'll dismiss those ideas and ask them to give us a "real" goal or job they'd like to have.  

  Why do we do this?  Why do we force them to think like grown ups when they are just small human beings who want to dream and imagine and conquer fears in their own little ways?  

 I love my kids' imaginations.  I love to hear their hopes and dreams, no matter how trivial or silly they may seem to grown ups.  My Logie Bear wants to be Batman when he grows up.  It makes me chuckle, but it also makes me proud.  We must see beyond the character they want to be and see the qualities that character has.  Batman fights bad guys and saves innocent people.  Logie Bear wants to be  a hero.  He wants to make sure people are safe from harm.  That is a very admirable goal for such a little guy. 

  Some of our older kids might have lofty goals as well.  Some might have typical dreams, some surprising, some expected. As we adults know, goals often change, but our hearts and our intentions remain the same... even if the particular dream gets tweaked a bit.  Some dreams or the paths our children take might seem scary or foolish to us.  Some of the decisions we make might seem foolish to our parents.  As long as we're following God's lead, as long as our children are following His plan for their lives, none of us have the right to take over or interfere.  

  Instead of forcing our dreams onto our children, we should embrace theirs.  Instead of telling them the better way to handle their future lives as adults, we should step back and see things from their point of view.  

  College, corporate jobs, and mainstream careers, while wonderful, aren't for everyone.  If a child has a goal to do something that brings in less money, does that make them less of a person? No!  A person can be completely fulfilled without having the newest, fanciest possessions.  A person can be completely fulfilled with a job they love, even if that means their pockets aren't quite as full.  On that note, some of our hopes and dreams for our children could hurt them or be a stumbling block if we aren't careful.  If we force them to stay in the family business or reach for a career that will make them wealthy, they could end up resenting us and feeling completely unfulfilled, no matter how much money they rake in.  Every parent wishes, prays, hopes for the best for their children.  When we try to take that into our own hands instead of leaving their decisions where they should be (between our child and God), things can get messy.  We aren't God.  We don't always know best, even when we'd like to believe we do.  

  While God placed us in the lives of our children to be a guide through this confusing world, He did not ask us to be dictators.  Love on your children, embrace their dreams, hopes, and goals.  Help them up when they stumble, hold them when they cry, but never look down on them for approaching things their way.  We all have to find our way through life.  Sometimes we need to do it on our own and learn things the hard way.  Other times, we realize we can't do it on our own and we reach out to our loved ones for guidance.  Step back when your children want to discover who they are on their own.  Swoop in with loving open arms when they express their need for you.  

  My children want to be superheroes, farmers, IT guys, chefs, and princesses.  They have reasons behind their dreams and if they don't, they have a heart for their passions.  Embracing my children's dreams doesn't mean I'm feeding them to the wolves.  They're still young... they're still safely nestled under our wings within the walls of our home.  By showing them I love their hearts and goals in life, I'm putting trust in them and loving them as they are.  By dreaming with them instead of for them, I am showing them that they are valuable.  

  I mess up often in this parenting journey.  Sometimes I do things that go against what I know to be true because I stop trusting God with my babies and have a strong desire to take things in my own hands.  This is one area in which I stand firm.  I believe my children are their own people.  They came from Jeff and I, but they are not us and never will be.  I value them as individuals and I don't want to make them feel less than because they have different interests and passions than I.  Will you do this for your children?  Will you value them as their individual selves, or would you rather they do things your way?  While we can train them and teach them to be godly upstanding citizens, we can't force them to be someone they're clearly not.  So let go of the mini-me mentality and let your children use their wings.  Let them fly and catch them when they fall. And do it all in love, the love only a parent can give their child. 

~Em

Side Note:  If your young daughter expresses a desire to become a stripper, or your son expresses his desire to become a drug dealer, by all means, PUT A STOP to that dream! ;)  This post is all about embracing your child as God created them, not as the sinful world shapes them to be.  We obviously need to use discernment, but we need to remember that God created our children and knit them in our wombs... we were just the vessels that carried them to life.  We are here being God's hands and feet.  We can't forget that. :)