Sometimes life beats us to a pulp. It keeps throwing punch after punch and we start to doubt our ability to keep moving forward. We cry, we pray, we beg for mercy, but nothing seems to give. I've noticed this is especially true for me when I've received something special from the Lord. A good word, healing in my spirit, revelation, motivation.... Satan doesn't want us to have those blessings. He wants to take them and put us right back to where we started ~ in a dark little corner, hidden, so as not to be a beacon of light to the world.
I'm tired of this! I'm tired of giving in and letting him win these battles. I'm not giving up anymore. He has tried really hard this past week or two to beat me down. He has taken jabs at all of my weaknesses and has worked overtime to try to steal my happiness, my security, my light. I'm not going to lie, it's been a struggle. I've been asking too many questions, I've been letting doubt find its way in, and I've been one foot in the light with the other in a very murky gray area.
Having been in a good place for a while, this is hard to admit. Who wants to go back to a place they vowed they'd never be again? Who wants to admit that there is an ongoing struggle in life when they should have conquered the beast by now? Well, I'm standing up and I'm raising my hand high, because I'm NOT going to let Satan win this time. I'm going to keep fighting until I win. I'm going to keep asking God to be my guide and I'm going to stomp that devil into the ground.
I'm typically a very private person, so blogging has been a very draining process. I enjoy writing, and find it to be very therapeutic, but I also don't like more than my close circle of friends knowing many of the details I've shared on here. It's just not in my character to open up like this. The reason I do so is to connect with people like me. I want others who go through the ups and downs in life to know that they are not alone and that there is someone out there who understands. I'm not doing this to gain a huge following (that actually really scares me when I think about it). I'm doing this to be a light to the person who needs it most. I'm doing this because I feel like the Lord has led me to it.
Yes, I know that I have quite a few posts about homeschooling and the light side of parenting. Yes, I realize that every thought I have isn't deep and touching and life-changing. My goal isn't to come across as this all-knowing superwoman who can change your life with one blog post. My goal is to encourage and lift people up. To show them just how human I am and how I can't get through the deep or shallow parts of life without God leading the way.
This ticks Satan off. He doesn't like that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there. Honestly, most of the time, I don't either. So, I've been struggling. I've been fighting myself and I've been questioning whether or not I should be doing this. I've let the circumstances of life distract me from what I know I should be doing. I let numbers (or, rather, lack of numbers) get to me. I let my failures dictate whether or not I should be an encouragement to someone who is going through those very same struggles.
No more! The cat is out of the bag! I'm being completely transparent and I'm admitting that most of what I write about is something I've struggled with. The things that are close to my heart are being put out there because I need reminders of God's steadfast love and strength just as much as the person next to me. I struggle, you struggle, we all struggle. God sees us. He wants to help us through our struggles and He wants us to use those experiences to help others through their hard times as well.
We are so often ashamed of our shortcomings that we hide them and try to act like everything is okay. This isn't doing us any favors, and this surely isn't doing our loved ones any good. We need to admit when we're struggling. We need to connect with each other and lift each other up. When we admit that we're having a hard time, we can be blessed by the hugs, encouragement, and advice of others. When we admit that we're struggling, or have gone through hard times, we can also help those who relate to our situation.
So, after all that rambling, I come to the point of this post. Be real. Be you. Stop hiding and start sharing yourself with the world. There are people who need you. The real you. The one who stumbles and falls. The one who can admit that they don't have it all together. We need to stop pretending that we've got a good hold on life. We need to admit that we desperately need God. We need to embrace who God has made us to be, not what the world values in a person. It's time to stop pretending and start being real. It's hard. I know. I am rather fond of pretending. But we can't possibly move forward, we can't possibly get to the next step in our lives, if we brush our faults and problems under the rug. We can't get through the things we refuse admit are there.
You don't have to be so public about your struggles. You don't have to shout from the rooftops or write about them on the internet, but please share with someone. Please allow God to lead you to a good friend you can relate to. Don't fight the daggers of life alone. Grab God's hand, gather your loved ones, and walk through this life strong, courageous, confident, and surrounded by an army of friends who love you and want to see you succeed.
Let's live life in a genuine, raw, and humble way. Let's be honest and bold and compassionate for those around us. Let us put our best foot forward, while allowing our worst to show others just how fragile and unique and gosh darn imperfect we can be. Let's give ourselves over to the Lord and stop pretending we can do this on our own. Let us never give up, never back down, and never ever give in to the pressures of this world. Let's be REAL! Let's be a LIGHT! Don't let Satan and the fear he tries to place over you cause you to hide your true self. Allow your unique, incredibly, wonderfully made self shine through! We want to see YOU!
~Em
Wowza, this is good!
ReplyDelete