My Hodgepodge Post

  If you could look inside my brain, you'd be grateful I haven't posted anything new in the past couple weeks.  It is an absolute jumbled mess.  If I have more than a handful of things to focus on at once, my mind becomes a haven for chaos and traffic jams.  

  As my faithful readers know, I often go way off track in my posts.  Today, you'll be "blessed" with a hodgepodge of thoughts. Most of this is just to get the thoughts out of my head so I can free up some of the space in my brain.  Some is me being real and showing you that we all deal with chaos in our lives.  And some is to be an encouragement.  Take what you will and forget the rest.

  Thought #1: We're still adjusting a bit to Jeff's schedule.  I think I've finally found a way for the kids and I to function in the midst of these awkward hours alone.  Just yesterday, I finally put my foot down and changed our school schedule.  I always had it in my mind that we needed to begin school in the morning in order to find success each day.  This was a silly notion, because a couple of us are most definitely not morning people.  In fact, I think I only have one genuine morning person in the bunch, but she is chipper all day, as long as she's fed. So we're trying out a new schedule for the next week or two.  If it works, we'll keep it.  If it doesn't, we'll toss it.

  Thought #2: Our family is also on the verge of another move.  We live quite far from Jeff's new job and a good distance from most of our friends and family, so this wonderful little town is no longer the right fit for us.  Anyone who has ever moved knows how stressful it can be.  The searching for a new place, the packing, the moving heavy objects, the time it takes to feel settled in your new home.  We're still in the searching phase and I'm ready for it to be over.  We have moved a lot over the years.  Way too much.  This next move is temporary.  We won't be settling... it's just another jumping pad to yet another home in the near future.  It's okay.  It's not the end of the world.  It's not my preference, but we have to do what we have to do.  It's one more step toward our ultimate goal, so I'll try to take this step as gracefully as humanly possible.

  Thought #3: I may very well be going stir-crazy, too, and I can't blame the abundance of snow Michigan has been hit with lately.  My hubby and I currently share a car, so my window of time to get out and about before he heads to his job every day is slim to none.  Grocery shopping with one or two kids in tow has been the highlight of my winter life since the holidays have passed.  I can't complain too much.  I am the ultimate homebody, but there comes a point when being home too much can drive anyone mad. Which brings me back to the move.  The closer I am to my friends and family, the more often I'll see them.  See, I'm being positive. ;)

  Thought #4: While Jeff and I seem to be holding up well through all of our hiccups and struggles, I have family members who are dealing with things as well.  Things that aren't mine to share, and things that are out of my hands.  I hurt for them, pray for them, and these things affect me more than they'll know.  That's the thing about family... when one faces sickness, heartache, or hard times, we all face it together.

  Thought #5: Life isn't all bad and stressful right now.  While there are many time consuming issues that we're dealing with, I couldn't have asked for a better man to walk through life with.  I feel that our marriage has become stronger in the past few months than it has over the past twelve years.  There is a deeper connection and a higher level of trust than I've experienced, and it is refreshing to let go and allow Jeff to be the husband he's been proving himself to be over and over throughout our marriage.  I'm a tough shell to break, and he's a patient, patient man.

  More Thoughts:

  We've had some fun in our little hermit hut... the Tooth Fairy paid Logie Bear a visit... twice in one week, KayKay made cute masks and the kids have been getting very creative in their free time, Ellie Belle has been improving upon her princess/diva/ballerina skills, HayHay has been cooking up a storm, I've been enjoying alone nights watching shows and movies with each child, and we've had visitors every now and then.  These are some of the little moments that keep me going.

  Life has swooped me up into a fast moving whirlwind all while forcing me to stay put and practice patience at the same time.  The great thing is, despite all the nay-saying from outsiders, and despite some stressful circumstances, the Lord has really given me peace about it all.  I've had my moments of doubt, but He has gently, but quickly helped me to snap out of them every time.  God is good, even when life can be hard.  God is here in the good times and bad.

  We all go through different seasons in life.  We all face trials and tribulations.  We are all blessed with victories.  I can't imagine going through life without Jesus.  I can't imagine how lonely that would be.  He is my constant.  He is the rock I cling to when I need a solid foundation.  He is the loving arms I run to when I need comfort.  He is the first to cheer with me when things go right.  God is the ultimate Friend, Father, Coach, Cheerleader, and Superhero.  He is everything to me and I can't begin to express how grateful I am to be His child.  If you're going through stressful situations and need the best of friends to help you through, turn to Jesus.  There is no better friend in the world.

  Jeff and I will get through these obstacles.  We've been through much, much worse.  We'll face more trials down the road.  Bring it on, life! Bring it on!  With God by our side, we will come out victorious!  So will you, friends.  Face your storms with the ultimate Superhero by your side.  You will not be disappointed.

  If you need prayer or encouragement this week, please don't hesitate to contact me.  I know I have benefited greatly from the support of friends and family.  I've been through a lot, so I am no stranger to the stresses and sorrows of life.  It would be my privilege to pray with you through your hard times... and praise God with you through your good times.


Be blessed!

~Em

Tunnel Vision

  

  If you have a Facebook account or have read comments on any controversial article on the internet, you know just how mean people can be when they're trying to further their cause.  I'm no stranger to stooping, and I am not proud of myself for doing so.

  I typically see those types of interactions and run the other way.... fast!  I don't like debate.  I'm not great at stating my case, especially with adrenaline pumping through my body.  I'm not a genius.  I'll read statistics on something and almost immediately forget the details.  I can remember the gist of things, but "the gist of things" doesn't get you anywhere if you're trying to prove a point. Anyway, debate stresses me out.  It makes me feel icky.  I don't like reading it, I don't like taking part in it.... unless it's cordial and friendly and on safe ground.

  Being the raging rebel I am, I sometimes disagree with some of the things my parents say (sorry Mom and Dad), but I usually nod my head in agreement and let them talk because, well, they're my parents.  They must have raised me right...I have a healthy respect for them...most days. *wink*  In all seriousness, I realize that maybe I should be more bold in conversations.  Not to the point of being a jerk, but I shouldn't be afraid to have a different opinion and make that known.  There is such a fine line between agreeing to disagree and stirring up bad feelings, so I am still trying to define it, 31 years into my life.  Yes, I am a slow learner.  Then again, from some of the things I've heard or read, I think many of us are a bit behind on the etiquette of respectful disagreement.

  Recently, I read through a debate that made my stomach hurt.  I saw that a loved one was being cornered and "bullied" for her opinions, even after she left the conversation.  I have tunnel vision.  I am the ultimate mother bear. I didn't look so much at what she said.  I just saw that she was alone in this and I saw red.  I caved.  I stooped.  I called people out for being mean, but I was so caught up in my emotions that I didn't notice how harshly I responded.  I was just as mean in my defense of my loved one as the people I was calling out.  Now my stomach not only hurt, but my conscience was screaming.

  It is quite humbling to go back and read something you said out of anger.  It is painful and shameful and utterly embarrassing.  BUT, I am so glad I picked up on my bad behavior.  I'm so glad God showed me those words and how hurtful I was.  I apologized to the person I snapped at, hard as that was.  I thank God he reminded me of the value of that person, who's friendship I almost jeopardized over one small argument.

  I've been so focused on how much I hate the bickering that I became the person that committed the crime.  I apologize to anyone else who has been in the path of my angry word spewing in the past.  I know it's not pretty and I am sorry.

  I think we all need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and our motives.  It is awesome to be passionate about things.  It is wonderful to take a stand for something we believe in, but when we start tearing down the spirits of others, it becomes ugly and sinful.  It is a privilege to live in a place where we have a right to our own opinions.  It is also a burden at times.  It is a burden when we allow the love of our beliefs to open us up to hate for those who disagree.  We're all a bunch of tornadoes destroying anything that stands in our way.  It's tragic.

  Parents start acting like children when disagreeing on discipline, immunizations, breastfeeding, and even diapering.  Christians start embracing sinful attitudes to fight for their biblical beliefs.  There are even unhealthy wars over the healthiest diet/lifestyle to embrace. Homeschoolers vs. public schoolers.  Democrats vs. Republicans. Religion. Race. Sexual orientation. Family size. Even choice in music becomes an issue.  Friendly people become trolls.... correcting grammar, spewing statistics, calling names, and folding their arms in smug satisfaction when they've beaten their opponent far enough into the ground.

  We need to stop this, friends! We need to get to the root of the problem and nip this in the bud.  We need to look into our hearts and remember how we feel when someone talks down to us because of our beliefs.  We need to look at our loved ones and remember why we love them.  We need to set our differences aside and and just stinking love each other already.  Is all of this worth it in the end? Really?

  How do you want to be remembered?  Do you want to be known as the person who always had to be right, or do you want to be remembered as the person who spoke in love, even when others didn't agree with your stance?  Do you want to be the villain or the hero (not the super cool villains you see in the movies... I'm talking about a real low life scumbag)?  Would you rather your children keep fighting your petty fights for you long after you're gone, or do you want them to develop a strong, impressive, noble character?

  I know that I have a long road ahead of me to become the person I'm talking about.  The person who is pleasing to God in all circumstances.  The person who radiates love and kindness.  I try, but I fall flat on my face time and time again.  But you know what?  No matter how many times I fall, I'm going to keep reaching for that noble, godly, peacekeeping person I know is deep, deep inside.  I want to be that person for my kids, for my husband.  I want to leave this earth knowing I had done everything I could to show the love of Jesus to others, even if that means keeping my mouth shut and sacrificing my "need" to be right on every little issue.

  I've talked about this before, and I'll continue coming back to it, because we are all works in progress.  We can all use a lot more love and a lot less hate.  We could all stand to be wrong every once in a while.  We could all stand to let others believe they are right (even though it takes everything in us not to tell them just how wrong they are).  We can all gain some patience, gentleness, and self-control.  We will all benefit from a little humility.  Let's rise above the pettiness this world embraces and seek unity.  We were created to build each other up, support one another, and make this life worth living.  Why don't we?

  Let's stop looking at the failures of those around us and start working on our own demons. Lord, forgive us for losing sight of who we were meant to be for the sake of a good argument. Rid us of our tunnel vision and allow us to truly see the people we're impacting with our words.  Help us through these issues, because we so desperately need You.

~Em
 

 

  

Transparency

  Sometimes life beats us to a pulp.  It keeps throwing punch after punch and we start to doubt our ability to keep moving forward.  We cry, we pray, we beg for mercy, but nothing seems to give.  I've noticed this is especially true for me when I've received something special from the Lord.  A good word, healing in my spirit, revelation, motivation.... Satan doesn't want us to have those blessings.  He wants to take them and put us right back to where we started ~ in a dark little corner, hidden, so as not to be a beacon of light to the world.

  I'm tired of this! I'm tired of giving in and letting him win these battles.  I'm not giving up anymore.  He has tried really hard this past week or two to beat me down.  He has taken jabs at all of my weaknesses and has worked overtime to try to steal my happiness, my security, my light.  I'm not going to lie, it's been a struggle.  I've been asking too many questions, I've been letting doubt find its way in, and I've been one foot in the light with the other in a very murky gray area.

  Having been in a good place for a while, this is hard to admit.  Who wants to go back to a place they vowed they'd never be again?  Who wants to admit that there is an ongoing struggle in life when they should have conquered the beast by now?  Well, I'm standing up and I'm raising my hand high, because I'm NOT going to let Satan win this time.  I'm going to keep fighting until I win.  I'm going to keep asking God to be my guide and I'm going to stomp that devil into the ground.

  I'm typically a very private person, so blogging has been a very draining process.  I enjoy writing, and find it to be very therapeutic, but I also don't like more than my close circle of friends knowing many of the details I've shared on here.  It's just not in my character to open up like this.  The reason I do so is to connect with people like me.  I want others who go through the ups and downs in life to know that they are not alone and that there is someone out there who understands.  I'm not doing this to gain a huge following (that actually really scares me when I think about it).  I'm doing this to be a light to the person who needs it most.  I'm doing this because I feel like the Lord has led me to it.

  Yes, I know that I have quite a few posts about homeschooling and the light side of parenting.  Yes, I realize that every thought I have isn't deep and touching and life-changing.  My goal isn't to come across as this all-knowing superwoman who can change your life with one blog post.  My goal is to encourage and lift people up.  To show them just how human I am and how I can't get through the deep or shallow parts of life without God leading the way.

  This ticks Satan off.  He doesn't like that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there.  Honestly, most of the time, I don't either.  So, I've been struggling.  I've been fighting myself and I've been questioning whether or not I should be doing this.  I've let the circumstances of life distract me from what I know I should be doing.  I let numbers (or, rather, lack of numbers) get to me.  I let my failures dictate whether or not I should be an encouragement to someone who is going through those very same struggles.

  No more!  The cat is out of the bag!  I'm being completely transparent and I'm admitting that most of what I write about is something I've struggled with.  The things that are close to my heart are being put out there because I need reminders of God's steadfast love and strength just as much as the person next to me.  I struggle, you struggle, we all struggle.  God sees us.  He wants to help us through our struggles and He wants us to use those experiences to help others through their hard times as well.

  We are so often ashamed of our shortcomings that we hide them and try to act like everything is okay.  This isn't doing us any favors, and this surely isn't doing our loved ones any good.  We need to admit when we're struggling.  We need to connect with each other and lift each other up.  When we admit that we're having a hard time, we can be blessed by the hugs, encouragement, and advice of others.  When we admit that we're struggling, or have gone through hard times, we can also help those who relate to our situation.

  So, after all that rambling, I come to the point of this post.  Be real.  Be you.  Stop hiding and start sharing yourself with the world.  There are people who need you.  The real you.  The one who stumbles and falls.  The one who can admit that they don't have it all together.  We need to stop pretending that we've got a good hold on life.  We need to admit that we desperately need God.  We need to embrace who God has made us to be, not what the world values in a person.  It's time to stop pretending and start being real.  It's hard.  I know.  I am rather fond of pretending. But we can't possibly move forward, we can't possibly get to the next step in our lives, if we brush our faults and problems under the rug.  We can't get through the things we refuse admit are there.

  You don't have to be so public about your struggles.  You don't have to shout from the rooftops or write about them on the internet, but please share with someone.  Please allow God to lead you to a good friend you can relate to.  Don't fight the daggers of life alone.  Grab God's hand, gather your loved ones, and walk through this life strong, courageous, confident, and surrounded by an army of friends who love you and want to see you succeed.

  Let's live life in a genuine, raw, and humble way. Let's be honest and bold and compassionate for those around us. Let us put our best foot forward, while allowing our worst to show others just how fragile and unique and gosh darn imperfect we can be. Let's give ourselves over to the Lord and stop pretending we can do this on our own. Let us never give up, never back down, and never ever give in to the pressures of this world.   Let's be REAL!  Let's be a LIGHT! Don't let Satan and the fear he tries to place over you cause you to hide your true self. Allow your unique, incredibly, wonderfully made self shine through! We want to see YOU!

~Em

Scheduling Your School Day

  

Brittany Rene Photography

  I have been all over the board when it comes to scheduling our school days.  Some weeks we have a strict schedule, some weeks we fit school in whenever we can, and the really crazy weeks become an "each man for himself" kind of schedule.  While each family works in their own mysterious ways, I have found that I feel much, much more satisfied when we follow a schedule, even if we aren't rigid about the time frames.

  I'd like to share our base schedule for the 2013/2014 school year.  We might keep it next year, we might scrap it. After hard weeks, I pull this out and remind myself why it works so well.  I lose track at times, but it is always here, ready to guide our day and I am happy to have it.

 I enjoy seeing other homeschool schedules to pull different ideas from different places and see how it fits with my family.  This is exactly why I'm posting ours.  I'm sure there are other homeschool moms who are curious about the details of another's homeschool life. Now, to get down to the nitty gritty:

School Day Schedule 

7:45am* ~ Start the day! Breakfast, Morning Routine (chores)

9:00am ~ Family Devotions (Bible class), Journaling

9:30am ~ Lessons (math, language arts, history, etc.)

12:00pm ~ Lunch Break/Recess

12:30pm ~ Quiet Time Alone (schoolwork, reading, playing quietly)

2:30pm ~ Projects/Unfinished schoolwork/Clean up

3:50pm ~ Outdoor Play/Free Time

*Our school days begin an hour later in the winter.*

  I make the schedule simple, yet colorful, so as to be an easy guide for my eyes.  (All parentheses are for your benefit.  They aren't on my actual schedule.)  It's easier to see what's next if I schedule each block of time a different color. Of course, once we're in the routine of things, I don't have to look, but I keep this as a reminder for those times we've gone off track for a while. :)  

  

  Our morning routine is quite simple.  We eat a quick breakfast most days, make beds, brush teeth, yada yada.  We choose to do our "Bible Class" as a family with devotions before starting our school day.  We do the Journaling portion most days.  I'll give the kids a topic and they must write a paragraph or two or draw a picture to go along with that theme.  The requirements for this depend on their ages and capabilities. 

  I typically work on lessons with my kids individually.  There are some History and Science lessons we do as a family.  My sixth grader does most of his on his own and checks in with me so I can make sure he's getting everything done.  We use Easy Peasy All-in-One Homeschool (click on link to check it out) as our base curriculum and supplement wherever I feel is necessary.  This takes so much stress off my shoulders as there is minimal planning involved on my part.  The kids can get through their base subjects rather quickly, which opens up our days to include extra fun projects, activities, or interests.  I love it.  

  I'll skip over the obvious happenings during lunch break and recess.  Quiet Time Alone is an essential part of our day.  We're together all the time, so to have a bit of time to breathe and just be alone in our thoughts is wonderful and rejuvenating.  Quiet Time doesn't always last two hours.  I block out that amount of time in case one of my younger children fall asleep.  We have Quiet Time for a minimum of one hour, and if everyone is awake at that point, we'll move on with our day.

  Typically we don't have a lot going on after Quiet Time, but I have scheduled a block of time to accommodate extra projects, unfinished schoolwork, or any hobbies the kids have picked up. From that point on, we have an open schedule until dinner.  

  Fridays are often a bit more laid back as far as our lessons go, especially if we have a field trip or play date scheduled.  

  

How about you?  What does your typical school day look like? Do you have a schedule you follow, or do you just wing it?  I'd love to hear what works for you!

When They Grow Up...

  When you ask a young child what they'd like to be when they grow up, more often than not they'll say something like, "a dinosaur" or "a princess."  We parents find it to be comical and absolutely adorable,  but sometimes we'll dismiss those ideas and ask them to give us a "real" goal or job they'd like to have.  

  Why do we do this?  Why do we force them to think like grown ups when they are just small human beings who want to dream and imagine and conquer fears in their own little ways?  

 I love my kids' imaginations.  I love to hear their hopes and dreams, no matter how trivial or silly they may seem to grown ups.  My Logie Bear wants to be Batman when he grows up.  It makes me chuckle, but it also makes me proud.  We must see beyond the character they want to be and see the qualities that character has.  Batman fights bad guys and saves innocent people.  Logie Bear wants to be  a hero.  He wants to make sure people are safe from harm.  That is a very admirable goal for such a little guy. 

  Some of our older kids might have lofty goals as well.  Some might have typical dreams, some surprising, some expected. As we adults know, goals often change, but our hearts and our intentions remain the same... even if the particular dream gets tweaked a bit.  Some dreams or the paths our children take might seem scary or foolish to us.  Some of the decisions we make might seem foolish to our parents.  As long as we're following God's lead, as long as our children are following His plan for their lives, none of us have the right to take over or interfere.  

  Instead of forcing our dreams onto our children, we should embrace theirs.  Instead of telling them the better way to handle their future lives as adults, we should step back and see things from their point of view.  

  College, corporate jobs, and mainstream careers, while wonderful, aren't for everyone.  If a child has a goal to do something that brings in less money, does that make them less of a person? No!  A person can be completely fulfilled without having the newest, fanciest possessions.  A person can be completely fulfilled with a job they love, even if that means their pockets aren't quite as full.  On that note, some of our hopes and dreams for our children could hurt them or be a stumbling block if we aren't careful.  If we force them to stay in the family business or reach for a career that will make them wealthy, they could end up resenting us and feeling completely unfulfilled, no matter how much money they rake in.  Every parent wishes, prays, hopes for the best for their children.  When we try to take that into our own hands instead of leaving their decisions where they should be (between our child and God), things can get messy.  We aren't God.  We don't always know best, even when we'd like to believe we do.  

  While God placed us in the lives of our children to be a guide through this confusing world, He did not ask us to be dictators.  Love on your children, embrace their dreams, hopes, and goals.  Help them up when they stumble, hold them when they cry, but never look down on them for approaching things their way.  We all have to find our way through life.  Sometimes we need to do it on our own and learn things the hard way.  Other times, we realize we can't do it on our own and we reach out to our loved ones for guidance.  Step back when your children want to discover who they are on their own.  Swoop in with loving open arms when they express their need for you.  

  My children want to be superheroes, farmers, IT guys, chefs, and princesses.  They have reasons behind their dreams and if they don't, they have a heart for their passions.  Embracing my children's dreams doesn't mean I'm feeding them to the wolves.  They're still young... they're still safely nestled under our wings within the walls of our home.  By showing them I love their hearts and goals in life, I'm putting trust in them and loving them as they are.  By dreaming with them instead of for them, I am showing them that they are valuable.  

  I mess up often in this parenting journey.  Sometimes I do things that go against what I know to be true because I stop trusting God with my babies and have a strong desire to take things in my own hands.  This is one area in which I stand firm.  I believe my children are their own people.  They came from Jeff and I, but they are not us and never will be.  I value them as individuals and I don't want to make them feel less than because they have different interests and passions than I.  Will you do this for your children?  Will you value them as their individual selves, or would you rather they do things your way?  While we can train them and teach them to be godly upstanding citizens, we can't force them to be someone they're clearly not.  So let go of the mini-me mentality and let your children use their wings.  Let them fly and catch them when they fall. And do it all in love, the love only a parent can give their child. 

~Em

Side Note:  If your young daughter expresses a desire to become a stripper, or your son expresses his desire to become a drug dealer, by all means, PUT A STOP to that dream! ;)  This post is all about embracing your child as God created them, not as the sinful world shapes them to be.  We obviously need to use discernment, but we need to remember that God created our children and knit them in our wombs... we were just the vessels that carried them to life.  We are here being God's hands and feet.  We can't forget that. :)