Lately, I've been re-evaluating my thought process when it comes to my calling as a stay at home mom. I always thought that I, and my fellow "warriors," deserved more recognition for our service. If I would read statistics on how much we'd make if we were earning money for our hard work, I'd all but stand up and clap. I'd also have those moments where I felt I wasn't doing enough in this world by staying home. I wasn't worthy because I wasn't earning a buck.
I know there are some working mothers who feel under appreciated as well. I know that they feel judged for not spending every waking moment with their children. They wish they could be home, but that isn't where they are meant to be in this season, or maybe at all.
God calls us all to do different things in life. If we were all meant to work, or if we were all meant to stay home, our world would be a much different place than it is today. It might make things easier on us when trying to follow God's lead. If every mom did what every other mom did, it would be a no-brainer. It would be the norm. There would be no mommy-wars over what type of mom works hardest, deserves more praise, or wins the prize of Top Mom.
The reality is, that we all have different qualities and gifts to give the world. God sees us as beautiful, unique individuals and wants us to excel in the paths we take in life. He wants us to use our gifts to bring Him glory. He wants us to know that we are more than appreciated by Him. He finds joy in seeing us follow His will. We find peace. It's a win-win. So why do so many of us struggle when we know we're doing what we're meant to do?
My mistake was that I was measuring my successes and failures by the world's standards. This was a problem, because I'm not called by the world to raise my children, I'm called by God. The world values materialistic things. The world measures success by income or accomplishments outside the home. The world doesn't see the value or importance of that mom who stays home with her kids. They might see her as lazy, a freeloader, or maybe someone who wouldn't make it in a career outside the home. Not everyone views stay at home moms this way, but in general, the message today's people are sending is that we need to earn more, do more, and achieve more outside of the home to be valuable.
God sees things differently. He sees the value in all moms, no matter their calling. He sees that the working mom is often going beyond her comfort zone to help put food on the table and clothing on her children's backs. He sees that she may need that time with other adults during the day so that she can give of herself 100% to her children when she is home. He sees her as hardworking, beautiful, loving, and as a willing servant to her family. While I can't relate to the working mom, God knows her heart. God sees her value. God loves her and all the effort she makes to give her children the best life she can possibly give them. He sees it all and He is so proud that He has blessed this mom with His children. He is glad He placed these precious lives in the right hands.
God sees the stay at home mom as just as important as working moms. He sees the hard things that take place during the day: the mental exhaustion, the breaking up of fights, the cleaning up of spills (over and over and over again), the molding of minds, the kissing of boo boos, the crying, the diapers, the monotony of the day to day. He also sees the precious moments: the cuddles, the love, the moments of pride a mom has when seeing her children reach new milestones, the learning, the laughter, the endless hugs and kisses, the stories, the prayers, the fun times, all the special moments that may slip our minds. He sees it all and He is so proud that He has blessed this mom with His children. He is glad He placed these precious lives in the right hands.
I will no longer place my value in the world's ridiculous standards. When I do that, I will fall short every time. I will look side to side and see how very little I am treasured as a human being and as a mother. I will all but give up, because what's the point of jumping through the various hoops life throws at you when you'll never measure up anyway? Instead, I will do my best to see myself through God's eyes. I will see just how treasured I am. I will see that I am, indeed, making an impact on my children and that I am blessing my husband in return. I will see that in shifting my focus from others to God, I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing, and I am doing well.... mistakes and all.
If you are truly doing what God has called you to do, you are doing WELL. You have absolutely no place for doubt, so any time that darned thought pops in your head, look to God instead of seeking answers from others. This world is full of many things; I have yet to find an ounce of peace when seeking the things it has to offer. God is full of so much more, and all of what He is filled with is GOOD. Peace will come if you seek His face.
Be blessed today, working moms. Be blessed today, stay at home moms. You are all valuable. You are all good. You are all right where you need to be. If you aren't feeling peace, ask God what you need to do to make peace happen. If you are feeling peace, be that light to those moms who are struggling with where they should be in life. Be that shoulder to cry on, or be that ear that hears. Let's all support one another in this long adventure, and let us not forget to cherish all these good, limited years we have with our children.
Give your kids a kiss and a squeeze, and rest in the fact that God is so very proud of you today.
~Em
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