Hold Close The Ones You Love

  This day in age, it's so easy to find little pieces of joy through stories, pictures, and videos found on the internet.  My Facebook newsfeed is flooded with many positive posts every day.  I lived for those little smiles and for the cleansing tears they would bring.  I began to crave the depth and the emotions that would come from reading them.

  It's so easy to get caught up in all of that and sort of shut the rest of the world out.  It's so easy to focus on the family you live with and neglect your friends and extended family.  This past few days have been a real eye opener for me.  I've come to realize that I've been living in a bubble with Jeff and the kids, only to come out here and there, so as not to completely dismiss the outside world.  I love our little bubble.  It's safe and cozy and there's no threat here.  There's very little risk in being a family and putting your all into your husband and children.

  But, sad to say, in doing this, I have really jipped myself of many blessings and many memories I could have had with friends, cousins, and aunts and uncles.  It's not that I haven't had great times in the past few years with some really good people, it's just that I didn't put forth an effort when I should have.  I didn't extend nearly as many invitations, or accept those that were extended to me nearly as often as I should have.

  My side of the family has been dealing with some tough stuff lately.  It really got me thinking about where my priorities lie.  Of course, to put my husband and children ahead of the rest is important, but to keep others at such a distance is wrong.  While I can't take back the time that is lost, I am going to try my best to make new memories and form even closer bonds with the people I love.  I'm going to make more calls, send more texts, and open my door to my loved ones so we can truly get to know one another again.

  If you lose someone, your chance is over.  I don't want to miss out on that chance with all the wonderful people I have left.  I want to take after my Uncle Joe.  He has done what he could to keep in touch, and it is inspirational.  He sent postcards to his siblings in between visits.  Simple, sweet postcards, reminding them that he's thinking of them.  I received a couple here and there as well.

  My cousin, Heidi, has created a blog dedicated to Uncle Joe and his postcards.  His quick little messages, and her beautiful commentary really pulled at my heartstrings. If you'd like to read a bit of what she's posted, please click here to check out the blog.  Her "About the Postcard Writer" section is wonderful as well.

  As an introvert, I understand the need to keep people at a distance sometimes, just to have those moments of peace and quiet.  I've also experienced the ill-effects of completely shutting people out.  Now I see just how important it is to hold close the people you care about.  Our time here on earth is limited, don't let your life pass you by without living it fully. Don't let the years fly by without creating memories with the people near and dear to your heart.  Cherish each moment you have with your loved ones and live life to the fullest.

~Em

Quiet Time Themes

  I am a woman.  I change my mind... often.  One of the most frequent places I switch things up is in our homeschooling.  I recently changed our schedule so that we start school after Daddy leaves for his second shift job.  I weighed all the pros and cons before deciding that was the best move for our family.  It has worked really well so far.

  The most recent change, that we started implementing today, is our quiet time routine. I normally send the two younger kids to their rooms to play quietly by themselves and have the older kids read, play computer games, or work on their school work.  This worked really well for a while, but it is time to tweak it up a bit.

  We now have themed quiet times for each day of the week.  We'll still zip our lips and keep to our own little corners, so as to bask in those few moments of peace and serenity, but we'll have specific tasks or activities to take part in.  Here's what it looks like (for now):

Quiet Time Themes

Monday ~ Movie Day

Tuesday ~ Computer Day

Wednesday ~ Reading Day

Thursday ~ Creativity Day

Friday ~ Free Choice

Movie Day!

  We usually do these activities every day anyway, but this is just an opportunity to do them on our own, or in silence.  On Movie Day, we grab our pillows and blankets and gather in the living room to watch a movie in our own little corners.  No talking, no playing, just resting and relaxing.

  My kids, especially the older ones, absolutely love the computer.  They play Minecraft, create websites, write stories, paint, use apps on the iPod touch, and enjoy the Wii and Playstation as well. While the gaming systems make a bit of noise, I thought that giving the kids that time in the middle of the day to just veg out once a week would help to curb those cravings for play when they should be focusing on their schoolwork instead.  So, for Computer Day, the plan is to let the older two play Minecraft while Logan enjoys the Playstation in his room and Ella uses Hayden's iPod apps.  Some parents prefer the kids have the least amount of screen time possible.  I would be one of those, and this is my way of compromising with my kids and keeping the peace. :)

  I absolutely love it when all computers are shut down, the tv is off and there is absolute silence, aside from the rustlings of pages turning in books.  So, naturally, I wanted to incorporate Reading Day into our week.  The kids read for the fun of it every night before the lights go out, so they aren't lacking in that important time, but this just adds to it.  They all like reading, so this is a grand opportunity to distract them from that addictive blue glow all of the screens in our house emit. 

  I have one child in particular, who lives for creative outlets like drawing, painting, and crafts.  I thought it necessary to feed her need once a week in a way that she is able to create things without interruptions from her younger siblings.  They enjoy these things as well.  For Creativity Day, everyone will find a spot to do what they'd like on their own. Since my oldest isn't into a lot of the artsy stuff, I've opened it up a bit so that he can write stories or journal entries as a way of getting his creative juices flowing.  

  On Fridays, I provide a Free Choice Day so that the kids can pick something they love to do the best.  Movies are out on this day, because I'd like to provide complete silence for those who need it, but the kids are welcome to work on their computers, create pretty art projects, read to their heart's content, etc.  It's nice to have a choice now and then, so I want to make that an option for my children. 

  Once again, the freedom that comes with homeschooling has brought so much joy to my heart.  I am so thankful that we are able to change our minds and tailor-fit our activities and schedules to meet everyone's needs.  I hope this can be of use to my fellow homeschooling/stay at home moms who need a little boost in their daily quiet times.  As always, I'm open to suggestions, so please share if you do something that works well for your family. 

~Em

Finding Peace in Your Role as "Mom"

  Lately, I've been re-evaluating my thought process when it comes to my calling as a stay at home mom.  I always thought that I, and my fellow "warriors," deserved more recognition for our service.  If I would read statistics on how much we'd make if we were earning money for our hard work, I'd all but stand up and clap.  I'd also have those moments where I felt I wasn't doing enough in this world by staying home.  I wasn't worthy because I wasn't earning a buck.

  I know there are some working mothers who feel under appreciated as well.  I know that they feel judged for not spending every waking moment with their children.  They wish they could be home, but that isn't where they are meant to be in this season, or maybe at all.

  God calls us all to do different things in life.  If we were all meant to work, or if we were all meant to stay home, our world would be a much different place than it is today.  It might make things easier on us when trying to follow God's lead.  If every mom did what every other mom did, it would be a no-brainer.  It would be the norm.  There would be no mommy-wars over what type of mom works hardest, deserves more praise, or wins the prize of Top Mom.

  The reality is, that we all have different qualities and gifts to give the world.  God sees us as beautiful, unique individuals and wants us to excel in the paths we take in life.  He wants us to use our gifts to bring Him glory. He wants us to know that we are more than appreciated by Him.  He finds joy in seeing us follow His will.  We find peace.  It's a win-win.  So why do so many of us struggle when we know we're doing what we're meant to do?

  My mistake was that I was measuring my successes and failures by the world's standards. This was a problem, because I'm not called by the world to raise my children, I'm called by God.  The world values materialistic things.  The world measures success by income or accomplishments outside the home.  The world doesn't see the value or importance of that mom who stays home with her kids.  They might see her as lazy, a freeloader, or maybe someone who wouldn't make it in a career outside the home.  Not everyone views stay at home moms this way, but in general, the message today's people are sending is that we need to earn more, do more, and achieve more outside of the home to be valuable.

  God sees things differently.  He sees the value in all moms, no matter their calling.  He sees that the working mom is often going beyond her comfort zone to help put food on the table and clothing on her children's backs. He sees that she may need that time with other adults during the day so that she can give of herself 100% to her children when she is home.  He sees her as hardworking, beautiful, loving, and as a willing servant to her family. While I can't relate to the working mom, God knows her heart.  God sees her value.  God loves her and all the effort she makes to give her children the best life she can possibly give them. He sees it all and He is so proud that He has blessed this mom with His children.  He is glad He placed these precious lives in the right hands.

  God sees the stay at home mom as just as important as working moms.  He sees the hard things that take place during the day: the mental exhaustion, the breaking up of fights, the cleaning up of spills (over and over and over again), the molding of minds, the kissing of boo boos, the crying, the diapers, the monotony of the day to day.  He also sees the precious moments: the cuddles, the love, the moments of pride a mom has when seeing her children reach new milestones, the learning, the laughter, the endless hugs and kisses, the stories, the prayers, the fun times, all the special moments that may slip our minds.  He sees it all and He is so proud that He has blessed this mom with His children.  He is glad He placed these precious lives in the right hands.

  I will no longer place my value in the world's ridiculous standards. When I do that, I will fall short every time.  I will look side to side and see how very little I am treasured as a human being and as a mother.  I will all but give up, because what's the point of jumping through the various hoops life throws at you when you'll never measure up anyway?  Instead, I will do my best to see myself through God's eyes.  I will see just how treasured I am.  I will see that I am, indeed, making an impact on my children and that I am blessing my husband in return.  I will see that in shifting my focus from others to God, I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing, and I am doing well.... mistakes and all.

  If you are truly doing what God has called you to do, you are doing WELL.  You have absolutely no place for doubt, so any time that darned thought pops in your head, look to God instead of seeking answers from others.  This world is full of many things; I have yet to find an ounce of peace when seeking the things it has to offer.  God is full of so much more, and all of what He is filled with is GOOD.  Peace will come if you seek His face.

  Be blessed today, working moms.  Be blessed today, stay at home moms.  You are all valuable.  You are all good.  You are all right where you need to be.  If  you aren't feeling peace, ask God what you need to do to make peace happen.  If you are feeling peace, be that light to those moms who are struggling with where they should be in life.  Be that shoulder to cry on, or be that ear that hears.  Let's all support one another in this long adventure, and let us not forget to cherish all these good, limited years we have with our children.

  Give your kids a kiss and a squeeze, and rest in the fact that God is so very proud of you today.


~Em

Why We Homeschool

  About ninety percent of the people who talk to me bring up my family's choice to homeschool.  More often than not, they're curious about why we choose to do this.  A few people are put off by it and ask "but WHY?" in a somewhat condescending manner.

  I'm always happy to talk about homeschooling.... unless I'm being scrutinized for it.  I stand by my decision.  Jeff and I are not opposed to putting the kids into school if God leads us to it, but that is not the path He's laid out for us.  So when people can't wrap their heads around the idea, it's nearly impossible to share my heart with them.  I can't share with someone who doesn't have an open mind.  Because I am so passionate about this blessing, it definitely hurts when my lifestyle is cut down.  I don't really have the right method of answering to people that don't want to hear me out, so I just nod my head, let them speak, and move from the topic as quickly as possible.

  I find incredible joy in talking to those who are supportive, curious in a kind way, or are looking into going down a similar path.  This is a passion of mine.  Teaching my children.  Raising them.  Being there.  Putting my stamp on their hearts.  I don't take this lightly.  Homeschooling to me is so much more than reading, writing, and math.  I'm teaching the kids about life.  The kids get to see first hand how Jeff and I handle things.  Unfortunately, they see when we mess up, but they also see when we repent, make it right, or fix the various situations we're in. 

  I am thrilled that we have so many choices pertaining to our children's education here in America.  Public school, private school, home school, co-ops, distance learning, the list goes on.  There isn't a one size fits all and I love the diversity.  I love that each family can pick and choose what methods and avenues they want to take and mold them to fit their family's needs.  You will never hear me say that homeschooling is the only way.  I would never tell a parent that they should do it my way.  I'm happy when they do, but only because it gives me one more reason to connect with them, not because I'm right and my way is the best for everyone. 

  When God calls me to do something and I obey, I feel complete peace about my decision, no matter what the world tries to tell me.  Besides my heart for Jesus, there are three things I've never been more sure of: my decision to marry Jeff, staying home as a full time mom, and schooling the kids at home.  Complete peace.  No question.  I've looked into and even tried work from home opportunities.  I'd consider those again.  But I will gladly sacrifice the finer materialistic things in life in order to follow my calling as a stay at home mom.  If God were to lead me in a different direction; if He were to have me put the kids in school and work outside of the home, I'd do it.  As hard as that seems to me now, I'd follow His lead.  

  The thing that really saddens me is that this world has come to a place where working moms are pitted against stay at home moms.  Homeschool moms are pitted against moms who send their kids to school.  Moms who go the natural route medically are pitted against those who put all of their trust in their doctors. You see where I'm going? One side believes they are better than the other. Each side feels the need to loudly state their case in order to defend their decisions.   

  This shouldn't be how it is.  We shouldn't have to defend our choices.  We shouldn't have to feel inferior if we go against the flow, or like sheep if we happen to make the popular choice in our parenting decisions.  I respect any parent who cares for the well-being of their child, whether they choose to do things the same way I do, or not.  

  Back to the original reason for my post.  Friends want to know why our family homeschools.  If I could condense that answer down to one post, I would.  There are many reasons we homeschool, and that list continually grows as we trudge along through life.  Here are just a few:

• God's Prompting ~ This is and always will be the number one reason.  I had the kids in school before.  Those times were good.  That move was necessary.  I don't regret putting them into school when I did.  However, the last year we had them in school, I felt a deep stirring in my spirit to bring them back home.  I prayed all year.  I honestly didn't want to bring them back.  Homeschooling is no easy task.  It isn't the easy way out.  There is no easy way.  There was no peace when they were in school.  The school was great.  The teachers were amazing.  My kids did well and had sweet little friends.  I had no issues with the school itself.  My issue was with the lack of peace I had while they were there.  It was a big learning year for me.  The next year we kept them home and haven't looked back.  We've had our hard times, of course.  We've had our share of financial struggle, throbbing nerves, and caffeine overdoses, but through all the hustle and bustle and messiness of the homeschool life, peace washed over me like a soft, comforting blanket.  
• Freedom ~ This is a close second to God's call.  Ahhh..... the breath of fresh air freedom brings.  The first couple years we homeschooled, I stuck hard to a curriculum because that's what I thought we needed to do.  I didn't take full advantage of the freedom we had.  After much experimentation, we've found an almost perfect fit.  I'm able to tailor fit our lessons to each child according to their learning styles, interests, and capabilities.  I've learned to love the freedom that comes from tossing something that doesn't work and hugging something that does.  Our schedule changes with the seasons, our field trips happen on our terms, we take days off when we need to and do school on weekends if we want to.  We research on our couch in our jammies, we draw at the kitchen table, we cook or bake on a whim, we find learning opportunities where we never would have looked before.  This has opened up a whole new world for us.
• Faith ~ Whether others like it or not, our faith plays a huge part in every decision we make.  There are things I want my children to learn that they might not learn in a school setting; and there are things I don't want my children to learn from other people, or at certain ages.  I want God to be a part of their lives all day long.  I want them to hear the Christian worldview side by side with how the rest of the world believes.  I don't want our faith being left out of their learning for the sake of others.  I understand why the public schools do this, and of course we have to respect other people's beliefs, but as far as my kids are concerned, I don't want to add confusion where it just isn't needed.  They will learn all sorts of beliefs when it comes to religion, politics, creation, science, etc.  But this will all happen when Jeff and I feel they are good and ready to learn...when they are mature enough to see opposing sides and not become confused.  A couple of my children aren't mature enough to hear all the different views quite yet.  I think that for them, it would be detrimental to put them in a public school setting.  A couple of the kids could handle it well, but the others just aren't ready. I believe God blessed us with our children so that we can train them in the way they should go. And I say this all about my children.  What another parent decides is completely up to them.  My children are mine for a reason, just as your children are yours.
• Education ~ This really fits in to a few categories, but it deserves one of its own.  I want a tailor-made plan for my children.  I want them to learn at their own pace, whether that be behind or ahead of their peers.  I want them to fully grasp what they're learning.  I want them to choose some of the topics they study.  I feel it is important for them to have that one on one attention.  I think it is equally important for them to have breaks when they need them, not just when scheduled.  I am not opposed to someone else teaching my children, and I do plan on taking advantage of outside classes, co-ops, and tutors as needed.  We've taken part in a wonderful co-op or two, we have a fun field trip group, and as the kids show interest in specific extra curricular activities, we'll sign them up as finances allow.  
• Shelter ~ This one may have left some of you with your jaws on the floor.  Hear me out.  I'm about sheltering my children from certain things for as long as I deem necessary.  My kids are more sheltered than some and less sheltered than others.  I am a strong believer in letting kids be kids.  I am a strong believer in protecting them from adult problems, situations, and topics.  I am not, however, going to shelter them to the point that they can not function out in the big, bad world as they grow into young adults.  My kids will be well aware of how the world works in due time.  In the meantime, I'm going to cherish these times with my kids while they are still kids without the unnecessary drama, pitfalls, and predicaments that come with experiencing things too early for their own good.  I allow free will when appropriate and I make no apologies for protecting the innocence of my children for as long as possible. 
• Fun ~ Believe it or not, most of the time homeschooling is a lot of fun.  Sometimes it's a BLAST!  I am always finding ways to make learning enjoyable.  I want life to be exciting for my kids.  We don't have a lot of money, but that doesn't mean we can't have a lot of fun!  Because they're home, we're able to have Pinterest Days (doing fun and educational activities we find on Pinterest), slumber parties at Grandpa and Grandma's, play dates during school hours, field trips of our choice, picnic lunches inside and out, student-led classes, an abundance of time as a family, and so much more.  

  I wouldn't trade this incredible blessing for the world.  I will fight for our right to homeschool.  My family will continue to live this lifestyle for as long as God allows.  I hope and pray He allows us to continue for years to come.  I have learned so much about patience, love, sacrifice, and humility through all of this and I get choked up every time I think about just how blessed I am to be living the life God has given me.  I have a supportive husband, amazing kids who actually enjoy being around me, and a life full of beautiful memories.  I couldn't ask for more.