My heart is so heavy. I wasn't going to speak on any of what is being passed around in regard to the Planned Parenthood happenings. Not because I don't have an opinion. Not because I agree with any of it (I DO NOT). I was going to keep my trap shut for the sake of the feelings of the many women I know and love who have had abortions.
I've been pretty quiet on the topic for the past couple years. I didn't know how to defend the lives of those sweet innocent unborn babies without crushing the spirits of the women who have regrettably gone through with such procedures. So, if you are a woman who has had an abortion.... know that I love you, so much. I feel for you. My heart aches for you if you are struggling with the choices you made.... but I can't sit by quietly when lives are in jeopardy.
I'm always prayerfully seeking out the right words to say in regard to such a sensitive topic. I am 100% in favor of all babies having a chance at life.... those who are found to have disabilities, those conceived in rape, those who are purely an inconvenience to the mother... all of them. I don't want to get into all of this because I have this need to debate and argue with those who disagree with me. I just want to speak on behalf of those who have yet to find their voice, and for those who never had the chance to speak.
I've never had an abortion. I was a prime candidate for an abortion, in the eyes of the industry, fourteen years ago. I had this totally cute boyfriend. I just graduated high school. I had my whole life ahead of me. I had a rep to protect. The summer after graduation, I found out I was pregnant. It was a shock. I didn't know how to tell my parents. I didn't know what life would be like from that point on, but I did know one thing... I was not going to take away my baby's right to life. Abortion never made its ugly way into my thoughts.
Life was hard, from that point on. That boyfriend (now husband) and I had/have big responsibilities on our plates.... but it was also freeing... freeing because I knew I had made the right decision. Freeing because I knew the value of that tiny little being growing inside me.
Life changed when my son was born. There has been a lot of trial and error. There have been many tears shed. There have been a few scares here and there. There has also been so much love that I feel my heart could burst. There has been laughter and cuddles and growth and overwhelming joy. Had I gone in to have an abortion, I would have wiped all of that away in one fell swoop. Had I taken away my son's right to live, there'd be a huge hole not only in my heart, but in this world. Sure, Heaven would have gained an incredible blessing, but that was not, nor will it ever be my choice to make.
I was also that baby of a prime candidate for abortion. I was conceived by a young, unmarried woman. She could have easily chosen to rid the world of my presence. Depending on who you talk to, some say she made the right choice.... I'm here, so I'm sure you're picking up on the life-choice she made. ;) She knew she couldn't care for me the way I needed or deserved, so she placed me up for adoption and I was raised by the best parents on the planet. Had she decided that adoption was too much of a risk, or that I could end up being a horrible person some day~so she best not endanger society~I wouldn't exist... my kids wouldn't exist.... and boy, am I glad she gave me the right to grow up and have a family of my own.
I've read some, and watched some, and pondered some, mostly while nursing my newest sweet angel baby. There was one story I read of a woman who lived with deep regret over an abortion she had. As she told her story, through beautifully written word, I held my baby close and sobbed. No woman should ever have to go through that. I realize she made that choice, but I believe many women make this type of decision out of fear, or misinformation.
Some women say they feel no regret for choosing to abort their baby(ies). I have thoughts on that... maybe they don't fully grasp what has taken place, maybe they aren't being honest about their feelings, maybe they really don't care... I don't know, but I do know that Jesus still loves these women, and He wants to extend His grace and mercy to them, if only they'll confess their sins and accept Him.
The thing that frustrates me almost as much as the pro-choice stance, almost as much as the arguments they sling at pro-lifers, is the hatred some of my fellow pro-lifers have for women who have aborted their babies. Yes, there are truly detestable people out there, who need a good verbal smack down, but to lump all post-abortion women into one category is wrong. Many live with enough regret to last their entire lifetime... they don't need our judgement or those verbal stones thrown at them. Simmer down and love on them already. Jesus is willing to forgive us for all the horrific crap we do, so what makes us think these women are unforgivable? He died for ALL... because ALL have fallen short of His GLORY. ALL.... ALL SINS.... ALL PEOPLE. ALL.
Anyway, this is part of the reason I try not to speak... I go on a rampage and have a hard time straightening up my act. Working on it.
The point is, abortion is a detestable thing. Let's fight that... let's fight the act and give people the information they need to hear. Also, let's show the women, and even the people who work in the industry the love of Jesus. When hate is thrown at me, I shut down. I'm turned off to whoever (or is it whomever? whatever) is speaking. I want nothing to do with them or their ideologies. But when someone speaks to me in love, and has a passion for their beliefs, rather than an agenda to chop mine up into bits, I'm more apt to hear the words they're speaking and open my heart and mind.
So yes, please... make people aware of the atrocity that abortion is, but do so with love for those unborn babies, love for the women who are in tough situations, and love for those who "know not what they do." Hate should play no part in a movement that places such high value on the sanctity of life.
Love to you all.
~Em
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