I think most people have questioned their beliefs or their approach to life at least once (or several times). I know I have. I've never doubted God's existence or the reality of salvation through Christ, but I have doubted pretty much every other aspect of my faith at one point or another. Stone me if you wish, but I'm just being honest here.
God is absolutely the Ultimate for me. He is my everything and I am so grateful to have Him in my life. Without him, I wouldn't have gotten through the couple years of absolute darkness I finally broke out of. He and a select few people who truly care saved me from utter destruction. So as I write this, I want it to be clear.... I have never and will never deny my faith in my Creator, my Healer, my Father, my Friend... my Savior. He is so beyond real to me that you could throw all of the pain and sorrow of the world at me, and I will still believe.
That being said, I am so heartbroken and disappointed in the whole of the Christian community lately. I disagree with the approach of many people.... and I disagree with the way I've handled many things myself in the not-too-distant past. Many of us, especially after having gathered together, believe we have the right to climb up on a high horse and throw verses, judgement, and condemnation at people who don't do things the "right" way.
We are so quick to dismiss those who live life differently, that we forget to flipping love them. We condemn them to hell rather than opening up our arms and our hearts to them and just being there for them. We believe every little mishap is a heartbeat shy of demonic possession and we run around trying to cast things out of people, rather than letting them deal with their sin or circumstances in their own way.
We all have the knowledge of good and evil. We also have free will. God did the dirty work when He sent His Son to bear all of our sin and die on the cross to rise again and purify our hearts. Our job isn't to tell everyone how horribly they're acting or how quickly they'd land in hell if they were to die at that very moment. I believe we are meant to love on others. We're meant to share the freedom, grace, mercy, goodness, and love of Jesus. Our approach has been so arrogant, so judgmental. We can't win others for Jesus when we treat them as if they're garbage.
While I'm not going to roll over and agree with all lifestyles, choices, and actions people take, I sure as hell am done looking down my nose at them. I believe God designed me to be a lover. When I point out people's weaknesses or differences, I feel dirty inside. I feel like I'm outing them as a way to hide my own demons. I am not perfect, and am not going to pretend to be. With all of my imperfections comes an understanding of other people's situations.
How is my secret sin any better than someone's obvious sin? How does that give me license to jump down a person's throat when I catch them being "bad"? It isn't and it doesn't. Period.
An example of what I'm talking about would be the big homosexuality debate. There are many opinions on homosexuality. I've been kind of all over the place in my beliefs on this. Unfortunately, I've been that judgmental, snotty Christian. I deeply regret that time in my life. While I'm still trying to figure out exactly where I stand, I know that I no longer view gay people as someone to fix. I don't view myself as any better than them or any more worthy of the love of God. I certainly know for a fact that it is not up to me to tell them who to love, how to live, or what to do about it. It is personal to them.... it is between them and God. God doesn't love them any less than he loves a pastor with a wife and three kids. We should follow His lead.
Another example would be the pro-life/pro-choice debate. I'm obviously pro-life, but I am in no way pro-life in the sense that I'm going to condemn a person for having an abortion. I hurt for them. I hurt for the baby. I don't see that mother as evil. I see her as believing there was no other way out. I wish I could save every pregnancy. I wish I could help every mother financially, emotionally, and spiritually so that there's no question in her mind that she should have her baby. I wish that every woman would see the life growing inside her as an opportunity to bring more good into the world, regardless of whether or not she is the one to raise that baby. The thing is, I'm sick and tired of hearing hateful words spewed at women who made that choice. She can't take it back. I'm sure most women wish they could, but what's done is done and there is absolutely no sense in making matters worse by covering these women with added guilt. If you know someone who's had an abortion, please just love them. You don't have to say a word about it. Just love them.
Those are just two big examples of the situations in which I'm horrified at the behavior of fellow Christians. We are no better than the person next to us. We need to stop acting like we've got our stuff together all the time. We need to start being real and honest about our struggles. We need to understand that just because another person's struggles are different than ours, doesn't mean they are less than. We're all people. We're all just trying to get through this life the best way we know how. We need to cut each other a little slack now and then. We need to extend love and grace to everyone we encounter in our day to day. We especially need to be loving and gracious toward those God has placed in our lives. Don't let your pride cause a family member to walk away. Don't let your need to be right cause broken relationships and broken hearts. Just be love. God is love. We need to be love. BE LOVE.
Are you a living, breathing, feeling human being? Do you believe in God, do you not, or are you still sorting through your beliefs? Are you depressed, anxious, totally at peace? Jesus loves you and so do I.
Are you gay or straight? Are you broken, healed, unscathed? Did you hurt someone or did someone hurt you? Do you struggle with addiction? Jesus loves you and so do I.
Did you commit adultery or are you faithful to your spouse? Did you wish harm on someone or do you feel shunned by another? Do you have regrets? Jesus loves you and so do I.
Are you poor, are you rich? Are you democrat, republican, libertarian, do you not care? Jesus loves you and so do I. Do you get the picture? You are loved, no matter what you've done, no matter who you are. As long as you are walking this earth, you are able to start new if necessary, and you are able to receive God's grace and mercy. You have people in your corner and you are LOVED.
I'm done with hurtful religious ambitions. I'm all about being real, loving on people, and allowing God to work through me with love and compassion. I'm a nobody. I have no credentials, no wisdom beyond what God chooses to gift me, but I am definitely somebody that wants to put a stop to the ridiculous bickering that has taken place. I can't do much beyond sharing my thoughts and feelings on all of this. I can't step much further than just to be that person who extends a caring hand to those around me, but I pray that God will work through all of our hearts to show us how to behave and play well with others. It's time for a real change, don't you think? Now, where's the reset button?
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