I've been getting kicked by life a lot lately. A lot. Seriously, so much that it makes my head spin. Thankfully I've had great support from friends and family, natural supplements, and the Lord by my side or I might have fallen down to that deep, dark depression I lived with before.
I can't say I handle these situations with grace. Most of the time I don't. I let my emotions get the best of me and have to pick myself up and start over for the most part. It isn't fun, starting over. It is emotionally draining to see a pattern of stumbling and failing. The thing I'm incredibly blessed by is the fact that though I've stumbled a lot lately, and though life seems to hate my guts, I'm still functioning. I'm still hopeful. I'm still breathing and full of determination to get myself past these obstacles that have been thrown my way.
It is a good feeling, seeing all the adversity, and knowing everything is going to be alright. It is refreshing not to crawl back into that dark hole and hold on for dear life. Fighting back and pushing forward makes life much more bearable. It makes me feel like a better mom, a better wife, and a better Me.
I know some people who are stuck in the dark cloud of depression. I know how that feels and I hurt for you. I also want you to know that it DOES get better. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't give you a 12-step program to get better. I can't fix you myself. What I can tell you is how I conquered my demons. Maybe some of these things can help you, too. The key to killing the beast is to keep fighting for your life!
My first step in getting through my long bout of depression was to distance myself from the triggers. By "triggers," I mean those people, habits, and places that cause more stress and anxiety than necessary. This is easier said than done, but I highly recommend taking one step at a time and ridding yourself of unnecessary stress. I'm still struggling with ridding myself of certain people and habits, but I'm trying.
My second, which should be the first, unfortunately was an afterthought. I needed to hand it all over to God. As much as I love Him, and as much as I value Who He is to me, I neglected that relationship. I think I was so full of guilt, that I felt unworthy of having a relationship with Him. I loved Him, I prayed to Him, but I also neglected to give my all to Him. Instead of handing over my heartache and accepting His help, I tried to conquer it on my own. I came up short. I failed. I needed Him and I didn't want to admit it.
The third step was to naturally boost my health. I struggle with eating the way I know I should. I have discovered what foods work for me, yet I keep eating those that can trigger episodes of anxiety and moodiness. I used to drink Diet Coke. A lot. Too much to admit to. I knew better. I knew that my brain can't handle the aspartame. I knew that drinking that "poison" as I like to call it, would trigger my anxiety attacks and insomnia. I finally gave up the poison and have benefited greatly. My mind and body work best on a plant based diet, and that is my current goal. I'm striving to cut out the rest of the crap foods I cling to and start embracing those foods that make me the best version of myself. I have also recently discovered some amazing essential oils that have helped me curb those anxiety attacks that try to take over. I LOVE that I can use a natural resource to kick this in the rear, rather than popping pills to mask my symptoms. I never did well on meds anyway.
Those are the biggies for me. I'm sure I've done some other things that have helped me along the way. I know that this will be an ongoing battle, but now I feel I have a good handle on what tools to use and Who to turn to in my times of trouble.
I encourage you to seek out your own ways of enriching your lives. What changes do you need to make to bring true joy and happiness back to your heart? What or who do you need to distance yourself from? What could you add to your day to day? You may have a long road ahead of you to feel at peace, or you may be just around the corner, but I urge you to do whatever it takes to conquer this. You are in my prayers and I am here if you ever need to talk. I understand all too well the hurt of losing hope and the pain caused by fear, doubt, and darkness. If you don't know me personally, or if you don't feel comfortable talking with me, please find someone who understands. And please turn to God. He is your biggest supporter, your most resourceful ally, and your best shot at moving from depression to peace.
As much as I am uncomfortable with giving advice when it comes to things like this, I really feel there are people who need the encouragement and some ideas of how to move from drowning, to treading water, to swimming like a pro. I'm still treading myself, but it is so much better being in a place where I can gasp for air and see the sun shining down on my face. I want this for you... I want this and so much more for you.
Be blessed and know that along with God, there are people in your corner There are others who have similar struggles. There are friends who understand.
~Em
