Frizzy Hair and Lotsa Coffee

  I'm tired.  Tired to the point where I forget simple words and everything becomes "that thing" when I'm trying to communicate with my family.  My temper is in beast mode.  My patience has left the building.  My guilt is off the charts regularly throughout the day. I mean really... I have quite a few kids....a teenager and a baby included in the bunch.  Need I say more?

 Have you ever been there?  Bending to the point of breaking? I believe all mothers go through cycles of elation, frustration, exhaustion, excitement, hopelessness, hopeFULness, pure joy, failure, and the list goes on.  There is nothing wrong with feeling out of sorts.  We are human.  The beauty in those times of imperfection is that we have an incredible Father who takes over.... He carries us through those times of trouble, heartache, and sleeplessness.  He gifted us with our beautiful, sometimes incredibly trying children, and He wants us to succeed, even when He needs to step in and take over for a while.

  I've had to chant "this too shall pass" so many times lately, that I think I've actually worn the phrase out.  I've had to ask forgiveness of my kids numerous times.  I'm honestly wondering if something is a bit off with my husband... because he's standing strong by his frizzy haired, sailor cursing, caffeine addicted, black-bag-eyed, sleep deprived, slumpy dumpy wife through all of my trials.  He's either a saint on a mission from God, or I've broken him as well. Either way, I'm glad he's taking our wedding vows seriously.  ;)

  I don't say this to talk down to myself or to complain about where I'm at in life.  I am grateful for my life, and the people in it... even if I'm in a time of trial and the need for growth.  I say all of this to show you that we all go through it.  There is not one perfect mama.... not one perfect family out there.... even though we are in a world that often likes to mask the imperfections and show our happy, charming sides to the people who see us.

  This seems to be a recurring theme in my life... and this blog.  But you know?  I often need the reminder... and maybe you do too.  We need to embrace those moments of peace and calm.  Kiss on our babies' cheeks.  Snuggle for five more minutes.  Ignore that ugly pile of dishes and take a cat nap on the couch while the kiddos watch that episode of Jessie for the umpteenth time.  We need to do what it takes to survive during those cycles of not so happy times and then truly grab hold of our times of happiness, ease, and utter divineness.  Is that even a word?  Well, it is now! ;)

  If you are as tired as I am... I raise my mug of strong kick-in-the pants coffee to you... and I send hugs and smiles your way.  You're doing a fabulous job, sweet mama.  Your kids love you no matter what cycle you're going through right now.... even if you've become pals with good ol' raging hormonal Aunt Flo.... forgive yourself for being less than perfect and drink that coffee, watch that episode of Friends to get a good laugh in, or read that heartwarming book for a nice little cry... and remember that goodness and mercy are well on their way.  All of this is worth it in the end, don't you agree?

  I have five little souls and one hot bearded hubby who remind me every day that this is the best gosh darn life ever.  Trials and all.  And you know what?  I wouldn't trade these sleepless nights or sticky, loud, chaotic days for the world.

  Gotta go.... my next cuppa coffee is calling me.

xoxo
~Em

Thoughts from a Cover-using Nursing Mother

   Before I dig in to the point of this post, I do want to say that I have friends of all kinds.  Friends who nurse without covers, friends like myself who prefer to cover up, and friends who bottle feed their babies.  None of these friends are wrong... and none are more right than the next.  They are all amazing women who love their babies more than life itself, and are doing what mothers are meant to be doing.... loving, feeding, and caring for their offspring.  It is a beautiful thing.

    Five years ago.... nursing with a cover seemed to be the norm.  I didn't hear much otherwise on the topic.  I nursed my baby with a cover, without shame, and that was that.  No guilt.  No mommy wars over such a thing... at least not in my circles.

     Fast forward to today, and the war is ON!  Never in my mommyhood life have I ever felt more insulted over feeding my baby the way that makes me comfortable.  It is a shame that moms who are fighting for their rights to feed their babies however they please are also throwing their fellow nursing mothers under the bus.  Whether intentionally or not, it has become an issue.

     I don't have a bone to pick with anyone who feeds their baby.  If you don't use a cover.... that's your right.  If you want to cover up.... you have every right to do so.  If you bottle feed.... you have that right as well.  Shouldn't the important thing be that we are all feeding our babies because we love them so stinkin' much?!  Apparently, to many women, that's not the important thing... they may claim it is.... but they speak a whole different "truth" when they poke fun at, or downright insult the way another mom chooses to feed her baby.

     I use a cover when I feed my baby.  I always have.  It is what makes me comfortable, and I don't feel like it takes away from the bonding experience at all.  I can still look down through the top of my cover and make eye contact with my baby.  I'm still snuggling with him while he eats.  He's comfortable and happy with or without a cover.  Yet, I am apparently a horrible, shame-filled mother who is embarrassed about the fact that I'm breastfeeding my baby because I choose to feed him this way?  I think not!

    I get what breasts were made for.  Mine do their job perfectly.  I also get that people in our society gawk at boobs.  For me, I'd rather comfortably nurse under a cover, because I want to reserve that part of my body for my babies and husband only.  It's what sits well with me.  I have that right to keep parts of my body under wraps.  I shouldn't have to feel ashamed for having my own personal convictions or my own take on what modesty should look like for me.  If that looks different for you, great!

      The point is, yes, you SHOULD keep fighting for your right to feed your babies when they are hungry, no matter where you are.  But can you please, for the love of God, stop throwing your fellow breastfeeding mothers under the bus if they nurse with a cover?  Stop making fun of the idea of a cover as if we are abusive, or ashamed of what we are doing, or as if we seek to complicate our nursing experiences.  In all reality, when people are around, my baby does better WITH a cover.  He gets to the task at hand instead of turning his head and exposing my entire boob for the world to see every time a tiny little noise reaches his ears.

     I will carry on, fighting the good fight and nursing my baby with pride, under my beautifully patterned nursing covers and you can carry on nursing your baby without... or while bottle feeding your baby with love and care... and we can all start high-fiving each other, knowing that we are all rocking this thing called motherhood.

     Next time you see a fellow mom feeding her baby (in any form), smile and nod, showing her you are proud of her for being such an amazing mom.  And stop making fun of each other, rolling your eyes at each other, or acting like high school MEAN GIRLS over something that makes us GROWN WOMEN.  Please and thank you.

     Happy Feeding!

~Em